New photos!

My Aunt Janette sent me a few photos from her trip to Texas from her camera. Enjoy!

My mom with granddaughter Ella.

Aunt Diane with grandson Jace.

Jadyn, Kaylee, Kaycee and Bryn at the pool.

Mom, Jacque, Sandy and Janette in their cute pink shirts!

Janette is on the left and Jacque on the right!

Zander, Kaylee, Austin, Jadyn, Bryn, and Mark with Tweety Bird and some other strange character at Six Flags!

Today has been a "good" day for me physically, and Katelyn is coming home today! Yea! I know she has has tons of fun in Oregon with my family, but I miss her like crazy! I hope she took lots of pictures for me to show you.

Love to you all,
Jess

Visitors and the waiting game

We have had a great week with my aunt Janette and family coming to visit all the way from New York. They drove the trip in two days, which is an amazing feat! We had lots of family dinners, a trip to Six Flags, and fun celebrating the 4th of July together. It was great to see their family! (Pictures to follow:)

I moved up my MRI to this week as I was in a lot of pain (the appointments were scheduled for Monday and Wednesday). The MRI showed no fractures, but tumor growth where the pain is that I am having in my lower back. My pain management doctor (Bruel) is in contact with my radiation oncologist (Spangler) and oncologist (Haley) to adapt the plan to help me feel better. As long as that area had not been radiated, Bruel seemed like that would be a good choice. He also adjusted my pain medicine to better manage the right pain I am having. I like this doctor a lot and I am thankful he has come onto our team.

Each day is different. Some are pretty bad, others are good almost all of the day. I cannot pinpoint what makes a good or bad day. I know the distraction of doing things and having friends around really helps keep my mind occupied on other things. I have also been known to think that a coffee drink at Starbucks curs many ailments!

I have many pictures to catch you up on. I finally downloaded my mothers pictures of Bryn's lovely birthday tea party. She felt so special and had tons of fun! Bryn has such wonderful friends and awesome parents.











Katelyn was a huge help at Bryn's party. She took pictures, helped with all the games, encouraged the children, passed out food, monitored them outside...she was so patient and kind. I really don't know what we would do without her:) If anyone needs a party planning assistant, I know she would do a great job for you!! She even held babies...here she is with Ella



Ella came over to visit (Hope comes over a lot to help me) and she loves snuggling with her cousins.



Jace came over for a visit too (with his mom Mandy of course). I love to play with Jace. His smile is so cute.



Bryn and Jadyn dressed up like Pipi and a tiger (from Kumg Fu Panda) for their camp at Trinity Valley a few weeks ago. Here they are, ready to go to camp. At camp, they wore their masks that they had been working on and went on a parade.





Mixed in somewhere in my camera was a picture of Bryn when my dad was in town for a visit. We went to Traildust for dinner and Bryn wore a tie to be cut off (a tradition in the restaurant--a no tie policy!) We had a lot of fun with my dad, but we did not take a lot of pictures. I think he did, so maybe he could send some to me (hint, hint!)



I love this picture of Bryn and Jadyn getting ready to swim...so grown up! My mom has taken the little girls and their cousin Austin swimming at my grandmother's country club pool quite often this summer.





Lat week, Jadyn and Bryn had fun washing Dad's car! I think the car got washed a little.



When Gene came into town, I knew he could fix our wobbly living room fan. He and Uncle Mike did just that. They also added a remote control! Yea! However, I was slightly worried about their method of using the ladder.



Jake and I were at the doctor in Dallas all day when our family enjoyed Six Flags. Jadyn and Bryn were able to tag along and they all had a great time!







The 4th of July brought the annual Arlington Parade. We comprised an entire block! Okay, this is not all our family, but it is a good portion of the area! Jake, Sandy and Pam and Chance all got up way too early to save our nice seats in the shade. Thank you!!

Ella loved her flag and waved it proudly!



My cousins Corbin and Carter are so grown up! They are enjoying the sun watching the kids swim. We all went over to my Aunt Jacque's house to swim and cook out. Fun!!









Thankfully, Aunt Pam loves the pool and loves her nieces and nephews. She usually spends most of her time in the pool with them!



I am not sure of how this happened, but Sandy is in the pool with all her clothes on and I think Uncle Mike had something to do with it!



I so enjoy my time with our family!



The evening of the 4th, we went to the Curtis's (Zander and Kaylee's grandparents house) to set off fireworks. We did this last year too, so I officially call this a tradition. The first picture is of the men explaining all the rules. I think the speech ended with "Fireworks are fun, but fireworks are serious."





We stopped at a fireworks stand before we got the the Curtis house and bought plenty of fireworks! We all loved the show Jake, Shawn and Gene put on. Here are the girls in awe! I love their sweet faces.






As usual, whenever I post, it's long.  But I hope you enjoyed our pictures.  Take care,

Jess

MRI moved up

Even with the new pain medicines Jess has been in as much pain as she has ever been. The good news is that she was able to move up the MRI to tomorrow and Dr. Bruel to Wednesday.

I keep waiting to write "Jess enjoyed pool therapy today." So far I haven't been able to. The latest hang-up happened Friday when they told us it would cost $400 a day for pool therapy. At first we thought our share of that would be $80 since they said our share would be 20%. Then it got interesting the insurance would only pay $50 of the visit-- which would mean us paying $350. Thankfully we have a really good case manager at Jessa's insurance who is working on it-- I'm hoping I will be able to write "Jess enjoyed pool therapy soon."

The best thing about today is someone came to our house today to cut Jessa's hair (thanks Karen). Here's proof that she looks good.

I thought you might like to see some of the modifications that have been done to our house. The door to this bathroom was widened quite a bit.

The bathroom was all carpet before. Here you can see the new tile.


Here you can see the wood laminate in our bedroom. It's also in the hall and living room. I took off the bed frame to make it easier for Jess to get into bed.

Finally you can see the sweet ramp that my friend Alex made. Of course if Jess improves her wheelies a bit, she may not need any ramps anymore:)

Pain Management

It was pretty cool timing today because Jessa's back has been hurting more but she had a scheduled doctor's appointment with Dr. Bruel, her pain management specialist. After evaluating her, he felt that she has probable fractures in her sacrum. That's the part of the back that extends below the lower back to above the tail bone. Jess has an MRI scheduled on July 7th and then a consultation with Dr. Bruel on the 10th to determine her treatment. If her sacrum does indeed have fractures in it-- Bruel will most likely fill up the new cracks with more bone cement. In the meantime he is rotating her pain meds and adding a medicine that helps with muscle spasms.

Jess starts her pool therapy Friday. We knew it was coming, but it feels so good to have it scheduled.

Katelyn left for two weeks for Portland, Oregon today to be with her grandparents today-- I think it will be a great break for her (she helps out at home so much) and she loves being spoiled. She is almost past the age of "unaccompanied minor" so I quizzed her about what to do when we got to the airport. My diagnosis: she is growing up because she aced the test.

Wheelies

Yesterday Jess did the ultimate thing in her wheelchair: she learned to pop-a-wheelie. Now she can make her wheelchair go over lips by herself, but more importantly she can look cool doing it.

We also celebrated PoPo's (Jessa's grandpa) 78th birthday yesterday. We went to Babe's in Burleson where they have a tradition of dressing up whoever is celebrating their birthday like a chicken and making them doing the chicken dance. I must say at 78 he looks much more spry than I do at 31. He definitely enjoys life to the fullest.

Jess is finishing up OT this week-- so we're hoping she can be in the pool this week. Jadyn is going to basketball camp at the Y, Bryn is going to VBS, and Katelyn is helping out with crafts at VBS. Katelyn is perfectly suited for it: she's great with kids, super organized, and has a knack for making crafty things look great.

Jessa's back has been hurting lately. The hardest thing has been sleeping well at night although she slept great last night. My back isn't feeling to well either. It's not to surprising that I hurt it. I am constantly bending down to move her feet, helping her transfer, lifting her wheelchair in and out of the car, etc. The good news is that Jess needs less assistance every day which cuts down on my back-bending and I am seeing a great chiropractor.

I can't believe how many people bought Our Journey with Jessica shirts. I see people wearing them all the time and they all have stories. They tell me about who they saw wearing them and they get to talk about how they know us. For me they are a constant reminder of people's prayers and love for us.

Wedding Pictures

Jeremy is a Big Wrestling Fan-- We're Holding up the #4 Like the 4 Horsemen. Jeremy is Second from the Right

Very Cute Flower Girls

A Wedding

Today-- was a pretty neat day for us. Jess and I did a bible study for college a few years ago and one of the guys from that group got married today. I was a groom's man and Jadyn and Bryn were flower girls. Jeremy (the groom) is from Oklahoma so we tried to be family to him while he was down here. In turn he became family to us-- the Yikes call him Uncle Jeremy. Hearing the wedding vows today reminded me of how serious they are: "In sickness and in health, 'til death do us part." Jess and I have both had to give up our own plans so instead of my plan or her plan we have our plan. By necessity Jess has become more dependent on me to make the right decisions and do the right thing. It frustrated me when I took a lot of time planning something completely out only to have her disagree. Now I realize that unless I let her tinker with my plans they cannot be our plans. For example for the first time yesterday I forgot to put Jessa's foot rests for her wheelchair in the trunk before we went to the rehearsal. When I couldn't find a wheelchair that we could use Jess wanted to stay in the car, but I wanted to bring her inside without the footrests. She ended up staying and Jeremy's dad went out to talk to her while we rehearsed. After that she came to dinner with us even though she would have rather stayed in the car again or gone home. Not too long ago we both would have ended up mad and made two separate plans, but out time together is too short not to be making plans together. We will be doing life together through sickness 'til death parts us. Let me close with a Yikes story. When we were eating rehearsal dinner at Spring Creek, Bryn asked what animal ham comes from. She was eating ham. I don't think our kids will ever be vegetarians because when Jess nervously told her that ham comes from pigs, she smiled big, said "Ooh-hoo-hoo" and took a big bite.

Thanks for the wait

Thank you faithful blog reader as you waited for out latest post. We decided to get laminate wood flooring put in to help Jess get around easier. It was supposed to take two days which would have been Saturday and Sunday, but they just finished up today-- four days later. The good news is we have been staying at Jessa's grandparents' house, better known as MeMaw and PoPo. I for one have enjoyed hot breakfasts, MeMaw doing our laundry, and help with Jadyn and Bryn. Jess I think has enjoyed the power of suggestion. All she has to say is that she feels like something (for example a root beer) and PoPo comes back with it (for example-- and this really did happen: three different types of root beer in 2 liter, 16 oz. bottle, and can). Jessa's health has been a mixed bag. She is getting stronger and can now easily transfer almost all on her own. However, she does not sleep well and started taking her pain medicine again at night which helps her sleep better than when she wasn't taking it. Also worrisome are her feet-- which feel like they are tingling as if they have fallen asleep. I am grateful that she will be able to start on chemo soon after she has a tooth pulled. She has been getting out a lot which can wear her out, but I think has been the best medicine for her. Most of it has been fun stuff like a Woman's bible study, but some of it has been icky stuff like the root canal she had yesterday (yes, she still has to get a tooth pulled too). Katelyn went to camp over the weekend and had a blast mostly because of the high school kids from church who Katelyn adores and have taken her under their wing. Jadyn and Bryn are doing Camp Thurman this week. It's a day camp so they come home at night to get baths-- it has a reputation for two things: being fun and making kids dirty, so the baths are really a necessity. I for one had a great Father's Day on Sunday other than Katelyn not being there. I hope you fathers did too. Let me close with a Yikes story-- it may not be that funny to you but it struck me as funny. We sent Jadyn and Bryn with two piece Takinis to Camp Thurman. We're actually a bit partial to one-pieces but Jess wisely thought that with a two-piece they wouldn't need help going to the bathroom. Those of you that have dealt with young girls in one-pieces know exactly how much help they need with them. Well anyway, Jadyn looked at Bryn's swimsuit top and said "I like your topping."

The zapping is done!

Well, just as gas prices are tipping over $4.00, I do not have to drive back and forth to Dallas for radiation any more! I finished my last round Monday, and received a lovely certificate assuring me I am done! I will not miss the daily trek at all. The radiation was for my back (where the surgery was) and my right pelvis and leg. I do not have any pain in my right leg anymore!

Camp songs anyone? Jadyn and Bryn have spent all week at a fun camp at my aunt Sandy's school. They had a blast! Katelyn excitedly left for church camp today in Oklahoma. The yikes will attend a local day camp, Camp Thurman, next week. Wow! I am glad we have not had one speck of summer boredom...yet!

I am working on setting up water therapy. I have one more week of home health and then, hopefully, transition right into the pool!

Speaking of a pool, I found a great hotel for our San Antonio vacation in July that has an ADA Wheelchair lift into the pool! I might look a little conspicuous getting into the pool, but the time I will be able to spend with the girls will be worth it. To think last year I was concerned about how my bathing suit looks. Now, that is not a speck on my radar as I try to adapt to our new normal. I am grateful for the opportunity to make memories with the girls this summer.

As we are close to Father's Day, let me just say that I have the best guy around. When I think of what he did not sign up for, but does as if he wants to, I am so humbled. I often wonder if I would be as patient and grateful, loving and encouraging if the roles were reversed. I hope so. But, I don't have to hope with Jake. He does it all. And, all the while being such a great, hands-on dad too. The girls and I all feel so fortunate that God has blessed us with a husband and dad we admire, love, and respect.

Much love,
Jess

Worn Out

I'm feeling pretty good, but Jess is plain tuckered out. We got up early and took the Yikes to MeMaw's (Katelyn had spent the night with a friend). Then she came with me to finish end of the year stuff at my school. Young Junior High has been very supportive of Jess and everyone was super excited to see her. It kind of looked like she was a rock star and they were her fans from the way they surrounded her, minus the autographs of course. From there we went to see Dr. Haley. Jess got an infusion of medicine to strengthen her bones and set up a time frame on starting chemo. On top of everything else Jess is going to have some dental work done. The chemo she has been taking over the last three works has had a negative effect on her teeth: she will have one tooth pulled and a root canal on another one. Since Sinitinib effects the growth of new blood vessels, Dr. Haley felt it best to wait until after Jessa's teeth are taken care of. From there Jess went straight to radiation where she finished her second to last treatment. The radiation table is too high to do a slide board transfer, so I have been transporting her via a two man lift. This takes nerves of steel on Jessa's part as she does not like to be picked up (not even to be carried over the threshold after we got married). Then after radiation, we went out to eat in a Dallas neighborhood pizza place (Sal's) that we had read about while we were in the waiting room. Then we went to the airport to pick up her dad (Bob) who came to visit from Portland, Oregon. Then to MeMaw's again to pick up the Yikes. One of our big concerns has been going over steps. Jess really wanted to be able to go over steps because she will have to go over a few steps to get into one of her friend's house for a bible study this summer. We made it-- but I think I scared Jess. Something about wanting me to try it with an empty wheelchair first. After Jess forgave me, we went in and visited for a little bit. Then on to Katelyn's soccer game. From there we came home and had a late dinner. Jess loves getting out and seeing people, but she's going to sleep good tonight.

The Pool

Jess loves the water. She loves going to the beach, pools, and hot tubs. There is not much that can ruin her day if she has a chance to soak in a bubble bath. Lately she has been able to take showers sitting down on a tub bench, but for Jess it can't compare to being immersed in water. Today, I got to see Jessa's face light up. She met with Dr. Star for a check-up on her leg surgery and to take her stitches out. The stitches I'm sure felt great to be out with his nurse removed them. However, her face absolutely beamed when he wrote her a prescription for pool therapy. For Jess that means walking and being able to wallow in water. A winning combination if you ask me and bonus: she'll be able to do her pool therapy in Arlington.

Bye-bye pain meds

Today was one of those good/bad days. I took the Yikes to Gilda's house (a cancer support group in Dallas) which was great for them and great for me. I really enjoy the people in my group-- we all have struggles but somehow manage to support each other. It seems like this would be like a drowning man teaching someone to swim, but really it is more like being in one boat and taking turns at the oars. The bad thing is that I forgot that good friends of ours had arranged for me to go out with the guys tonight. The wives were going to take care of Jess and the kids and I was supposed to go out with the husbands. Only I forgot and went to Dallas-- go ahead and stamp "Dork" on my forehead. Jess felt good enough to stop taking her pain meds (yippee!) but she did a lot of transferring (moving across her slide board to somewhere else like from her wheelchair to the couch) and OT wiped her out. She went to bed early. I backed up our car out of the garage this weekend and caught our bumper on the edge and left it pitifully hanging off. Today I found a place that will replace it for about $650. Our deductible is $500 so I'm thankful that I can just pay the $650 and not have to worry about my insurance rate going up. The way I see it I only have two choices be OK with the bad stuff being mixed in with good or throw a pity party. The thing is I don't think they make balloons with "Take pity on me" and I would be pretty embarrassed ordering a cake that says "Boo-hoo for me." Instead I will realize that when Jesus said blessed are you that mourn you for you will be comforted, he wasn't saying that I am blessed because Jess has been touched by cancer. He was saying I am blessed because so many people pray for us and our comfort to us and if we mourn we do not mourn alone. Thank you for being on the journey with us.

Cruising and Zooming

Jess was able to trade in her FDR chair for a sleeker model today. It is much lighter and more comfortable. Jess was able to maneuver around our house really well already (in fact better than I could push her) . The coolest thing though is that Jess is going to get a custom fit wheelchair. Every time Jess gets a new piece of medical equipment she always jokingly asks if they have it in designer colors. However, she really is going to be able to get a wheelchair in a color other than black. Hers is going to be aqua.

We are looking forward to a relaxing weekend. Jadyn and Bryn started it off right tonight when they performed Cinderella tonight (complete with multiple parts) for us. Jadyn did a great job as a director-actor.

Visit with Dr. Haley

Today Jessa's right leg started feeling better. It could be that the radiation is working, but it also could be that she has just been distracted by the leg cramps she has been getting in her tumor-free left leg. After radiation Jess was able to wheel right over to Dr. Haley. It was really nice because Dr. Haley is right next door and we didn't even have to go outside to get to her. Dr. Haley said something almost right away that made my heart drop into my stomach momentarily. She said that she wanted to talk about Jessa's lungs and liver. She wanted to let us know that there are no tumors in them! She had read the scans that the radiology oncologist had used to determine where to radiate and seen that the cancer was still confined to bone, but when she said that I was dreading that she was going to say it had spread. She also told us that Jessa's blood counts were good, no anemia right now.

She will start a new chemo medicine pending medical approval. The medicine is Sunitinib (good luck saying it-- I can't) and has not been FDA approved yet for breast cancer (though it is already approved for treatment of other types of cancer). Jess will get a Zometa infusion on June 6th to strengthen her bones. Then she will start a combo of Xoloda (chemo which she has taken before) and Sunitinib. Both of these are oral chemos, so no trip to Dallas for infusions required :)

Jess will get a new temporary wheelchair tomorrow. She calls the current one her FDR chair and it to use Jessa's word for it: cumbersome. We're hoping the new one will allow more maneuverability until she gets one that will be custom fit.

Our needs are well-covered the rest of this week!

You Can Do It

After Jess got back from radiation today, she met with the occupational therapist, whose name is Anna. She had Jess do things that she didn't think she could do. For example, she put on a sock. For you and me putting on a sock isn't a big deal. However, Jess did it by pulling the top of her pant leg bit by bit until she reached her foot all while balancing herself from a sitting position. A sitting position I might add that she reached all by herself. Sitting up by herself is something she had never done before. When all was said and done and Anna had told Jess many times that she could do it, I had look on my face that said, Wow, look what you did!"; Jess had a look on her face that said, "Wow, I'm tired."

Sandy came by tonight while Jadyn and Bryn were at mom's and went after the Yikes' room. Katelyn and she threw out tons of stuff. When Jadyn and Bryn got back they were so very thankful that they had a clean room. Bryn stood at the closet and told Sandy there was a word that described the closet but she couldn't think of it. Then she said I know it "It's organized."

Home sweet home!

Hi all!

Thank you for your prayers and support, phone calls and visits as we made the monumental switch to life at home. I had entered the lovely Scripps Memorial hospital in La Jolla, CA on March 17th (St. Patrick's Day) and I was discharged from the Zale Lisphy Rehab unit at 4:00 on May 23rd. It has been almost 2 1/2 months of being away. Coming home fills me with joy. I love watching the girls do normal things and be able to talk to them about the littlest things whenever I want to. They have been "just visiting" their mom for so long! I will say that it has been a quick transition back to life at home in that respect. Life here seems just as I left it.

Friday, I was able to see the big surprise waiting for me with a new, fabulous spa-like bathroom! It is breathtaking. Several wonderful ladies and their husbands came to do a complete makeover on our bathroom. It started with widening the door so I could get in with my wheelchair to use the shower. But, it turned into a complete room make over worthy of any HGTV show with huge tile replacing the old carpet, new paint (which meant taking down 1979 era wallpaper!) new mirror, new lighting, towels, sconces, picture frames... it is breathtaking and I love it. Thank you so much for all of you involved. I want to just stay there the whole day!

Every day home has brought its challenges, but it does seem like things are getting easier. The first day I was crying that I don't think I was ready to come home. Today, I went to church, and am sitting on the couch typing this on the computer. I am so glad Jake is more patient than I am. I think I would have put myself into time out a few times by now! We are managing fine and I know that each day home will be more and more normal, at least become our new-normal.

PT and OT will come throughout the week. Jake mentioned I will have radiation for 11 more days beginning Tuesday. Tuesday is my last day for my spine and I will have ten days for my right pelvis/leg. I am not looking forward to the long drives out to Dallas, but I remind myself that it is only 10 days and it will help in pain relief to that side, as well as freeze those tumors! I have follow-up appointments with every doctor imaginable in the coming weeks and months. I hope to see Dr. Haley Thursday or Friday to start my new chemo plan. She spoke to me last week about an oral chemo regimen that I might be able to try. I will let you know as soon as I know.

I am looking forward to seeing you all.
Love,
Jess

2nd Day Home

I am so grateful to have Jess home, and the girls of course are super excited to have her here. It has been a little hard for her to adjust to not having medical staff and facilities at her disposal, but today was easier than yesterday and I think tomorrow will be easier still. A physical therapist came today to give Jess an evaluation and she will return on Tuesday to start PT. Next week we will be making the reverse trek as Jess will get some radiation (Jess is asleep or I'd ask her what spots they're doing this time). Its been awhile since I explained radiation, so if you don't know radiation is the same technology used in an x-ray but in powerful doses. It's pretty neat because they can zero in on the tumors and zap them. Thank you for patiently waiting for me to post some stuff on the Lotsa Helping Hands site-- there will be postings on there once Jess and I realize what we will need this coming week. Thank you for your prayers!

Coming Home Today

Last night our house was packed with Jessa's "design team."   It was fun seeing our bathroom transform into something so nice.   They also got rid of the clutter in our bedroom.   We don't have cable at home, so Jess has really enjoyed watching design shows while in the hospital.    Now she gets to experience a mini-"While You Were Out" of her very own.   If it were a show, it would be called "While You Were in the Hospital for Two and Half Months."   Aunt Sandy pointed out that the last time Jess was at home was March 14th.   

I've packed up the last of Jessa's stuff while she getting radiation.   I'm hoping its timed just right and she gets to see Dr. Haley today instead of next week.   Even if she doesn't get to see her its going to be a great day-- our girls are super-dee-duper excited to have her come home today!

Surgery Went Fine

The surgery started late but no surprise there-- and lasted about two and half hours.   The T12 vertebrate was in the worst shape but Dr. Buriel said that it was no problem to fix it and restore it to its original height (it had collapsed on the top).    He was also able to strengthen the lumbar vertebrate as well.   He drilled a hole in the vertebrate, filled a balloon up to help create a cavity then filled it up with cement.  It's pretty cool because the fissures in the vertebrate get filled up with cement as well.  The only incident was one of the balloons popped.   No problem though-- the balloon is sterile and its now encased in cement.   I haven't seen her yet as she is supposed to be flat on her back for two hours in recovery afterwards.  He also said two cool things: 1) she should feel relief as early as tonight from the deep pain she has been feeling and 2) she may be able to go tomorrow.   Thanks for patiently waiting for this post!

MRI results

Jess was finally able to get the an MRI today. The good news is that it showed there is no spinal cord compression. However, it showed fractures in four vertebrate T12 and L 1,4, and 5. T12 is just below her previous surgery and the other ones are in her lower back. She's going to have surgery tomorrow afternoon at four. Dr. Buriel, a pain management doctor, will be performing the surgery. Jess says he previously worked at M.D. Anderson and has done lots of this kind of surgery before which is called kythoplasty. Jess will have general anesthesia and like the last surgery this one will be x-ray guided too. He will insert a needle and put in a balloon and then fill the area with cement. The recovery is predicted to be a quick one and she should be able to come home late this week. She'll come home to a totally redone bathroom. It already has a widened door and tile. Plus new faucets. Now the early 80s wallpaper is down and soon it will have a new coat of paint to go with the texture. She'll also get a pair of updated mirrors and new lighting. I am very grateful to the ladies that put in a ton of work today. What really touched me is when they said "Of course we're doing it. We love her."

My testimony

Sometimes the Lord impresses on me to share my testimony. Today, during my quiet time with the Lord, was one of those times.

I grew up knowing about God and Jesus. We went mostly to various Catholic churches where I attended Sunday schools and learned all the Bible stories. We later began going to mass mostly on holidays, and we always knew the true meaning of those holidays. My mom would sometimes take us to other churches. I was searching for something, I just did not know what.

Fast forward to age 21. My family was moving back to Arlington from El Paso, TX. I was at a pretty low point, not sure what I wanted to do with my life. But, I knew I had a precious 10 month old that needed more from me too. God was leading me to Arlington. He knew the plan.

Not long after moving back home (I lived in Arlington from age 2-12) my mom and I started to go the church that my aunt went to, Lake Arlington Baptist Church. Here, I heard almost ever week about a God that wants a relationship with me. I had not ever heard that before. I had heard about Moses, and Adam and Eve and Jonah. I had even heard about Jesus’ birth and death on the cross. But, never about a relationship. I knew that was something I was interested in. I knew there was something missing in my life. God knew that I was missing a God-sized whole in my heart that only He could fill.

After several weeks, God prompted me to pray a simple prayer, with what little I knew right then, to put my trust in Him. I understood that I was separated from God because of my sin, but that Jesus sacrificed his life on the cross as the only way for me to spend eternity with God. I, right then, declared Jesus to be the Lord of my life and I committed to live every day for Him and with Him.

It was an amazing day for me, filled with hope. It was a decision I made in the quiet of my heart, but I knew it was as real as anything I have every experienced.

My life did not do a complete 180. I still had problems and struggles. But, I now had a God on my side to turn to when I messed up, and to help me get back on the path He had for me. It was a path that soon led me to my husband, who also came to know the Lord around the same time I did, even though we met a few years later. God was joining and guiding our paths all along.

God continues to guide me each day. I still have hard days, and I still mess up. God has also grown me up a bit and I learn from Him all the time. I praise God that He chooses to use me in any way. I pray I am always open to His prompting.

Thanks for letting me share. I pray you have a blessed day. Today, with many uncertainties, I pray “Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus” Philippians 4:6-7. A long time ago, my friend Kara gave me a CD, Seeds of Courage, with Bible verses put to cool music. This is one of those, so I will be praying this verse in song all day!

Love,
Jess

Playing catch up!

Okay, I have finished my Bible study/devotional, Just Enough Light for the Step I'm On.  Since I left off quite a while back I will just touch on some of the things that were so meaningful to me in the last 8 chapters and then, I encourage you to read to the book and delve deep into the study questions, making them as personal to you as possible.  You will be blessed, as I was!

I learned:

• to trust that God has a calling for my life and not to worry if I missed the calling all-together, as God will find me wherever I am (even in the hospital!)
• greatness is not about power, money, strength, accomplishments.  True greatness is not about me, it's about His greatness in me.
• life can never consistently live up to my expectations. The level of happiness I experience in life does not depend on others; it depends on God.  Of course, I often rely on people and things, but when they disappoint me I feel hurt.  Although that is understandable,  it should not take away my joy.  She wrote, it pleases God when you have faith enough in the midst of your disappointment to put your hope and expectations in Him.
• Psalm 61:1-4 "Hear my cry, O God, Attend to my prayer, From the end of the earth, I will cry to You, When my heart is overwhelmed,; Lead me to the rock that is higher that I. For you have been a shelter for me, A strong tower from the enemy.  I will abide in your tabernacle forever; I will trust in the shelter of your wings." I cling to this verse because it helps me remember of how He has answered my prayer before (have been a shelter!) and He will answer and lead me again.
• that in times of great loss, we try to wrap our minds around how something like this could happen.  God wants us to let go of getting your arms around it and let God get His arms around you.
• the last three chapters are about our past, present and future. It was a good set to end on.  There are issues in my past where I must simply forgive as unforgiveness eats at my present.  And when unforgivness rears its head again, I can say, I've dealt with that and forgiven that person/issue... and move on.  I must also forgive myself of past issues and let myself move on as well.  As for my present, if I am where God wants me to be right now, there are no greener pastures.  My future is bright and I am excited and hopeful as I remember 1 Corinthians 2:9 "Eye has not seen, nor ear heard, nor have entered into the heart of man the things which God has prepared for those who love Him."  Yea!! Even greater plans than I can dream up, and I am dreaming big!

We have had an eventful past few days with lots of doctors trying to make sense of my chest pain.  It is still there, but not as intense.  My fever come and goes, my heart rate is still a little high and my breathing a little shallow, but those are at least improving each day!  Jake mentioned that during a scan for my chest, the radiologist noticed the T-12 vertebrae.  So, until the neurosurgeons meet on Monday, I am not able to get up and in my brace as they do not want to complicate the issue.  I do not think we are looking at the same injury as in California where the tumor is wrapped around the spinal cord.  I was told this looks more like a compression fracture that could be fixed my inserting some cement to cushion in between the two vertebrae.  Have you ever heard of a cement cushion! Someone should try that one out in there house and let me know how comfy it is before I change out all my furniture.  I will have an MRI tomorrow to get a better look.  I will also have a nuclear test to completely rule out a blood clot causing my chest pain.  

The girls make me laugh all the time.  They always grab a small piece of chocolate from a basket in my hospital room when they come visit.  Bryn tried a Thousand Grand bar the other day, and after the first bite exclaimed, "De-crunchous!"  A bryn-ism I loved hearing.  I asked Katelyn yesterday IF we painted the house if she would want to change her colors.  Her paint is just a year old: teal, purple and lime green.  Her main color now is teal, so she said, rather confidently, "I would probably just switch the purple with the teal." Yeah, that was just what I was thinking!!! Not really:) Jadyn is always so serious and likes to lean new things and do them on her own.  When we were playing checkers, I made the mistake of saying that I saw a move where she could "jump" me with her checker. This was my downfall, for after much contemplation, she asked my to show her.  When I did, she refused to make the move and was mad the whole game! We even started over!! She was torn between wanting the advice and wanting to play on her own.  I thought it was precious, but it took a lot of convincing to get her to start over!! 

Love to all of you! Thank you for your prayers and help!

Jess

IDK

Today is one of those days I'd like to know some answers, but the truth is I don't know.   Here's what I do know.   Jess woke up this morning with chest pain.   They have ruled out a heart problem or a blood clot.   She could just be sick-- they took some cultures but we don't have the results yet.   She could also have spinal cord compression again.   They took some scans and x-rays which showed a possible problem in an area of her back below where she had surgery and rods put in-- possibly a spinal cord compression at T-12.   A neurosurgeon is going to take a little at the results, but we don't know when the neurosurgeon will do that.  Jess is obviously not feeling good, but she still made the trek to get radiation today.    She is probably the most strong when she is weak. I know you would like some answers too, but right now we will just have to pray without knowing.

Jessica's Homecoming Delayed

Jess was still a bit sore from the surgery yesterdays-- but her leg felt much better.   Her PT today iced her leg-- a simple remedy that really helped.   She also went for fourth radiation treatment.  Her first was Friday last week and she had one on both Monday and Tuesday (but not yesterday because of her surgery).   This time she felt queasy afterwards.   Radiation tends to effect the area around the targeted spot and since they've been radiating her back-- it is no doubt effecting her stomach.   She'll have six more radiation treatments on her back-- they are holding off on her pelvis to give her leg time to heal.   They also moved Jessa's release date from this weekend to a week from today.    This is not what we wanted to hear, but now I will have more time to get the house ready and Jess will have more time to regain her strength before she makes the transition back home.

Lots of Waiting... but Success

Jess was scheduled for surgery this morning between 6 and 11, but hospital time is apparently the same in Texas as it was in California. They came to Zale at 2 in the afternoon to wheel across the Skybridge to nearby Parkland hospital. Then another 2 and half hours until they took her to the OR (operating room) at 4:30. The surgery took about an hour and half and went very smoothly. Dr. Star put in a long titanium rod in her upper leg (femur) and secured it with three screws. He said bleeding was minimal, but she will feel pain at the incision site for a bit. Then another hour and half past during which Jess groggily woke up. There was the hospital equivalent of a traffic jam in the recovery room because of the amount of surgeries going on tonight, but we got to see her about 6:45. Unfortunately 7 o'clock is shift change so we had to wait until Zale was ready for her. Here it is a little after 8 and Jess is settled. Whew! Thanks for waiting with us wherever you happen to be and especially for praying for a successful surgery. Good night.

First Star I See Tonight

Jess got to see Dr. Star tonight. He will do orthoscopic surgery to put in a rod to stabilize her femur bone. He will use an x-ray to guide his surgery which will take an hour. There is not a specific surgery time, but Jess will be his third surgery of the morning. She will spend the night at Zale and be home Thursday or Friday. He said that her leg which has been hurting a lot will feel better almost immediately-- just some pain at the incision site. Pray for us in the morning.

A Starless Night

Dr. Adam Star did not make it in to see Jess this morning, this afternoon, or tonight. I or Jess will post when she sees him.

Happy Mother's Day!

Today, I received an early Mother's Day present by getting to go on a day pass from the hospital to Bryn's 5th birthday party.  Several weeks ago, while planning the tea party, Bryn turned to me and said, "You won't be at my party!" Of course, I was sad I couldn't come, and told her how many people would be there that loved her so much.  In the background, I began asking around about these day passes I kept hearing about.  I asked my doctors and they were all over helping me so I could go.  Even after the femur setback, my doctor gave me explicit instructions to just sit in my wheelchair, but was happy to let me go for the day!  

I was ecstatic!! It was a surprise for both Jadyn and Bryn in case something did not work out.  Jake took the day off work Friday to come up to get trained and cleared to transfer me from wheelchair to our new car.  The transfer went perfectly.  Our beautiful new car is almost completely level with the wheelchair making the transfer almost easy.  

This morning, Jake came to pick me up and we were on the road by 10.  The party went perfectly, I thought! My fabulous friends Alyson and Shelley, along with my family helped plan and execute the best tea party a girl cold ask for.  Really, it went better than any party I have planned.  I think it helped that the adults in the room were almost all teachers!  They have a way with 5 year olds, and can each quiet a room in seconds:)  

I was blessed, blessed, blessed beyond measure to be able to be there.  I kept saying, Thank you God for this moment!  I got back to my hospital room a little after 3:00.  It was a long day, and quite past my max for staying in the brace, but it was so worth all the preparation and some aches and pains to have made it! Bryn said while snuggling in my hospital bed, "I am glad you got to come to my party." Me too Bryn, me too!! 

Katelyn was a great addition to the party as well and took so many pictures.  Tomorrow, I will try to download some and post on the blog.  

Every time I see Jake, he tells me of someone who is helping at our house with some project that will help me get around at our home.  I am so grateful for all of you who are helping.  And, for so many who help with everyday tasks with the girls, our yard, home, dinners, financial support, prayers...it is so difficult to thank all of you who literally make life work for us.  One, because I learn of something new someone has done literally every day.  Two, because words are hard to come by when thank you is never enough.  

You are amazing.

With much love and a Happy Mother's Day,

Jess

Leg Surgery

Jess has been experiencing some leg pain, so they took some x-rays. It turns out she has a new tumor in her femur which has weakened the bone. To prevent it from breaking they will have surgery. The surgeon she wants to do the surgery, Dr. Adam Star, is on vacation but the hospital was able to get in contact with him. Jess will have the surgery the beginning part of next week. We were very much looking forward to Jess coming home on Wednesday, but that looks unlikely now. The good news is that they are still going to let Jess leave on a day pass to go to Bryn's party.

7 Days and Counting

Bryn's birthday was April 26th but her party will be this Saturday. We are very much hoping that Jess will be able to come. I'm going to get some training on Friday on how to safely transport her from the wheelchair to the car. Then hopefully Jess will be able to get a day pass to travel to Arlington to her mom's house where the party will be at. I don't think the trip will be easy but Jess has been able to do increasingly more difficult things with PT-- I think she really excels at challenges. She also spoke with her radiology oncologist this week and they talked about starting radiation as soon as the end of next week. Here's a Yikes story for you. We have been testing out our house by riding around in a wheelchair. Well, the Yikes came rushing up to me and yelled that they had breaked the wheelchair. The English teacher in me asked if they had broken it. "No," they said pulling me by the hand. They were right, they had figured out how to lock the brakes on the wheelchair so they had indeed "braked" it.

Helping Hands

If there were one scripture that summarized the day today it would be "Do not be anxious about anything but by prayer and petition present your requests to God..." I had a jam-packed day with lots of stuff that seemed like it was going to go wrong, but it really turned out OK. The best thing about today ended up buying a car. Most people wouldn't consider a used car as their perfect car but this one seemed to be perfect for Jess, a 2004 Honda Accord (thank you Michael). The three neatest features I think are leather seats (so she can slide easily from wheelchair to car seat), electric controls of the passenger seat (no leg power needed), and a navigation system (this last one is just cool). Also there is plenty of room in the trunk for her wheelchair. I am anticipating our needs shifting slightly as Jess comes home, so to prepare for that I went to Lance Armstrong's site"Lotsa Helping Hands" and created a site for Jess. The site has a calendar where we can specify exactly what we need and when we need it. I think it sounds pretty neat because people can sign up only for something they would enjoy doing and for us it gives a central location to coordinate everything. The site is set up to be invite only so send me an email with "Helping Hands" in the subject area and in your message put your first and last name. The email I've set up for this is kaylorhelpinghands@yahoo.com

Picture update...

My brother Alex, from California, came to visit the girls while he was in Dallas on business. Jake and I were in California, while I was in the hospital. Here are a few pictures from his visit. They all played on the trampoline, thus the great action shot of Katelyn. Jadyn and Bryn are playing checkers at Cracker Barrel where they ate dinner one night. What fun!

Here are two pictures of Bryn enjoying her time with great friends Evelyn and Megan Hurtado. My friend Shelley posted some great pictures on her blog lately of all the girls growing up together: www.hurtadofamilyblog.blogspot.com




Here is a picture of Shelley and Allyson when they came up to visit at the hospital. Shelley did my toenails!



Lastly, I wanted to show you a graphic of a t-shirt design that my fabulously talented, wonderful friend, Lisa Grabowski, made herself!! She is putting it on many different styles of shirts to sell benefiting our family. You can contact me if you want her email. I think they are so beautiful, and I am so humbled by her overwhelming kindness for this and so much else she has taken on for our family. We are blessed by her, and all of you who support her efforts.

Love to you all,

Jess

Waiting...

Hi all! I hope this post finds you all well.  It was hard to believe I had not posted since Sunday.  I am sorry for the long lapse.  I was not feeling good the first part of the week.  Now, I am feeling good.  

I had a fun day with the girls and Jake this morning.  I had not thought much of it, but they had not seen me "up" in my wheelchair as they come at night when I am already in bed.  That was fun, and we went into the bigger family game room to play games and visit.  I also took them all around the gym I work out in every day.  It was a great visit.  

I also was able to see so many people yesterday; a friend from Gilda's, Lori, Sandy, Jacque, Zander and Kaylee, and a surprise visit from great friends Jeff and Leann, as well as Jake!  What a nice night:)

Several of you have wondered about my devotional.  It is called "Just Enough Light for the Step I'm On" by Stormie Omartin.  It is quite a bit different from her other devotionals.  As with any Bible study, it could be just read right through, or it could impact your every day.  I try to ask God to speak to me through each chapter, and He has followed through.  There are questions at the end that take you into various Bible passages and ask you questions that help you really dig into how this applies you. I highly recommend it.  It is also neat, because all through the book, it speaks of walking and taking steps with God.  This helps me both spiritually and physically as I learn to walk.  

Today's chapter focus was on waiting.  It was good for me, because I feel like I am waiting for a lot right now.  One mind shift I made reading this chapter was the thought that I should be waiting on God and not waiting on my circumstances.  I might think I was waiting on God's plan or God's timing.  But, really, my thoughts were on waiting on the "circumstance" to change.  For example, I might think I am waiting for my cancer to be cured.  I can easily get caught up in this request, and feel like I am waiting and waiting.  If I think of it as it should be, that I am waiting on God, it gives me a greater anticipation that I am not just waiting on the situation to change, but patiently waiting on God who is always moving in my life.   

There is a part in the book that says, "As long as you are waiting with the Lord, you are going from "glory to glory" and "strength to strength."  You are always going somewhere in God's plan.  His purpose for you is always being realized." Wow.  This is a great reminder to me that God is moving in my life, even though there are things in my life that appear to be standing still.  I can wait on God.

I am looking forward to tomorrow when several friends are coming for dinner.  And then, I am counting down until I get to come home on May 14th!

Much love,

Jess