Fall Days

Well, we have had quite a hard, busy, long, enduring couple of weeks. We have had a visitation and funeral that we all sat through tearfully and yet still in disbelief. I can still speak for most of our family in saying that it all does not seem possible, much like living in a very bad dream. Reality hit a little over Thanksgiving. We tried to do something vastly different, going out to eat and then to a family movie, but Uncle James was still greatly missing.

We have had several great family days, however. The weather here is beautiful and in the mid 70's. I took pictures of the girls outside and they turned out so precious. This one is one of my favorites. Tonight we will all goes to Six Flags Holiday in the Park, and we have another family meal planned tomorrow after church. We have all enjoyed being together.

Next week, I will go to have a normal treatment of my two drugs, one that will stop blood flow to the tumors in my bone cutting off their supply to grow. The other to strengthen by bones in general. I have not noticed any super human strength in the gym though! It must not help with muscle strength. I see the doctor again in December, where she will order more tests and scans to see how we are doing with this course of treatment. I am feeling well; I just finished my round of chemo pills, which will give me a welcome ten day reprieve of remembering to take them!

I hope you all had nice family time this Thanksgiving. I, for one, have been holding all my family a little closer. I know you have too.

Take care,
Jess
 

James Lowell Curtis

I am sorry I have not updated sooner. The blog site was down and our family has been quite busy.

My Uncle James passed away from this earthly world and went home to be with his Jesus late Thursday night.

It was, in these last days, what we were expecting. However, expected is not any way to describe the last few weeks. We expected to plan Thanksgiving with James bringing the chocolate cream pies he always makes himself. We expected to have the rubber snake for our annual white elephant gift exchange from Uncle James. We expected to play cards on New Years Eve with his family and take pictures of most of us all falling asleep way too early. No, we did not expect this at all.

But we know that our All-Knowing God did expect this. He knew it all along. He knew the days of James life before one of them came to be. And, we are grateful for the memories and the days that we were able to spend with him. He will be greatly missed here. James’ sweet son Zander said it best when he said he bet his daddy was up playing cards with his Grandma Gamel. I bet he is.

Moved to hospice care

My aunt Jacque moved uncle James to a lovely hospice facility in Ft. Worth last night. The transport went smoothly and he is very comfortable in his new room. The nurse there last night was wonderful and I know he will be well cared for during these last days.

James will get a bath today, a whirlpool one at that, and I can imagine how good that will feel after being only in a hospital bed for 12 days.

There is a nice area for the family, including a full kitchen to cook meals, a dinning room to eat at, and even a children's area.

Jacque took Zander and Kaylee up to the hospital yesterday to see their daddy for the first time during this hospital stay. I think it went better than they thought it would. Lots of tears, but a good visit.

It is a little final knowing this is the last place James will be. I am confident, however, that it is the right place for him now. James has touched so many lives, even while in the hospital. Every nurse that cares for him is affected by his story. So many nurses and doctors have said that they will go home to their family and hold them tighter, and treasure their time with them more. And, here is another place for him to do just that.

My aunt Diane told a story yesterday of what her husband Mike said. They were in with James and holding his hand, talking to him. Diane turned to Mike and and said, he just is not there is he? Mike said, no, he is not, can't you see...he is holding up Jacque right now.

That is such a clear picture of my aunt Jacque. She is definitely being held up by her heavenly father, and her loving husband. She is so strong. Now I can picture where that strength is coming from. Thank you uncle Mike.

Thank you for holding our family up as well.

Update on James

We've got to stop meeting like this. Me, crying on the computer. You, reading about a difficult time with our family.

My precious uncle James was taken off life support Saturday. We thought and prayed he would go quickly, but he is still holding on. He is stable and breathing heavily, but he is still with us. They have him on heavy morphine, so he is out. He does not open his eyes like he was before. He just snores :) Jacque said now we all believe her that he does. His brain is so damaged that he will never be James again. And soon, his brain will not remind him to breathe and he will drift off to be with Jesus.

I have come to the place in my heart today to be content with our circumstances. There is nothing more that I want from him than to go to heaven and be free from tubes, hospitals, and get his new healthy body. But I know that in a few days, or weeks, or however long it takes...I will miss not being able to see him every day. I used to want to talk with him and tell him we are here, and praying for him and willing him to fight. Now, I am happy to just sit and be in the same room as him.

However much we will miss him, please pray with our family that his time would come quickly.

I am feeling fine. Tired, physically and emotionally worn out, but fine nonetheless. Jadyn had her birthday party scheduled for Saturday, and we went ahead and had it. It was a fun time. It is good to be five and happy, and Jadyn is both. I am thankful for our close family.

Thanks to all of you for your prayers and support,
Jess

Emotional is not a big enough word

It has been quite an emotional week, and we are just on Wednesday. It feels like it has been (at least) a month.

Every time I let my mind sit too still for a while I start crying. This must count as still, because I am crying right now. It has been hard. Our family is so close, and we are such a part of each other's lives. Our grief is definitely shared among many. But, unfortunately, that does not make it any easier.

I knew my aunt Jacque was strong, but I have never seen such a brave woman. She is amazing. When she looks at my uncle James, she is looking straight into him. I don't know how you can have both sorrow and joy, but when she looks at James, she has both so clearly. She says often that she is so grateful for her time right now, able to look right into his eyes. Able to touch his warm hands, and talk all she wants to him. I am grateful too.

I went to the doctor Monday. It was an all-day affair. It shouldn't have been, it was just a routine visit. They were just backed up. I feel fine, and Dr. Hayley was pleased with my progress. I will see her again in December, when I will have my next round of scans.

Thank you for your prayers, your calls, your offers to help...it is greatly appreciated.
Jess

Zander

I love this picture of Zander (Curtis). He is looking out onto a sea of 3 Day walkers at the closing ceremonies looking for his aunt Judy. It is hard to see, but he is holding a sign. It says, "I LOVE YOU ANT JUDY". He does love his family so much. He is such a brave little boy. I think he gets that from his Dad.
Jess  

3 Day

I am so proud of my mom and sister, Jennifer for walking for a cure. It will happen. It will be exciting if it happens in my lifetime!
Jess 

3 Day

3 Day walkers finished 60 miles on Sunday!
Jess 

Happy birthday

Jadyn turned 5 Sunday!
Jess 

Go cowboys

Katelyn and Corbin on the star at the Dallas Cowboy Stadium for a field trip Friday.
Jess 

Katelyn's (belated) birthday

Katelyn had her 12th birthday party on Friday night. It was an indoor swim party and she had a great time, albiet a month and a half late! (She is in the middle on the top row.) 

Halloween Fun...with updates

The cousins had so much fun trick-or-treating together. They took turns (fought!) to push the door bell, sqeezed each other for a better candy position at the door, and ran from house to house, but when the door opened, they were all in one accord: "Trick or treat...thank you" they would yell to each neighbor. I love that our family is so close. They are growing up together...my biggest wish for them.

Please continue to lift up our family in prayer. James's EEG yesterday was not what he were wanting or expecting. He has damage to both front and rear lobes of the breain. His is on life support now and we are praying hard for him to wake up and be our miracle. But, really he already is. For he has lived each moment well, he is the hero of his wife and kids, he is a fighter, and he is a HUGE part of our family. Thank you for praying.

My grandpa was admitted into the hospital last night for low blood pressure. We just need our family to come home.

Jess 

Halloween Fun!

Halloween Cousins: Zander, Bryn, Jadyn, Kaylee, and Austin...or Power Ranger, Sheep, Little Bo Peep, Minnie Mouse, and Karate Kid!
Jess