Wednesday, November 1, 2006

Emotional is not a big enough word

It has been quite an emotional week, and we are just on Wednesday. It feels like it has been (at least) a month.

Every time I let my mind sit too still for a while I start crying. This must count as still, because I am crying right now. It has been hard. Our family is so close, and we are such a part of each other's lives. Our grief is definitely shared among many. But, unfortunately, that does not make it any easier.

I knew my aunt Jacque was strong, but I have never seen such a brave woman. She is amazing. When she looks at my uncle James, she is looking straight into him. I don't know how you can have both sorrow and joy, but when she looks at James, she has both so clearly. She says often that she is so grateful for her time right now, able to look right into his eyes. Able to touch his warm hands, and talk all she wants to him. I am grateful too.

I went to the doctor Monday. It was an all-day affair. It shouldn't have been, it was just a routine visit. They were just backed up. I feel fine, and Dr. Hayley was pleased with my progress. I will see her again in December, when I will have my next round of scans.

Thank you for your prayers, your calls, your offers to is greatly appreciated.


Anonymous said...

Oh Jess, you have such a way with words you are speaking for all of us. Thank you for the pictures, they are amazing. Keep them coming.

I am so proud of your mom and Jennifer, and the whole 3 day team. They are an inspiration to all of us.

Thinking of you.

All my love,

Anonymous said...



katrina said...

Although not a direct member of the McNutt sisters' clan, please know this member of the Bauerlein sisters' clan feels with you all, in both your successes and your sorrows.

Our love and prayers are with all of you.

Amy Sayegh said...

Dear Jessica,
I can just feel your words. Your right, emotional is not a big enough word. I know it sounds so repetitive, almost mundane, but I know and you know how important prayer is, and I have my own prayer chain going for your family. People call me to hear how things are going with James and Jacque and family, and you, and now your grandfather, again. All our prayers are with you and your family.

Big Hugs,