Halloween

The Yikes

Katelyn and Lauren Zang

fall pictures

October

My trip to Philly went great. I came up at the perfect time of the year when the leaves are changing, and Heidi and I made full use of that by going to parks and taking walks. I think the coolest thing was going to see Eastern State Penitentiary which was pretty creepy even in the daytime. They have a haunted house there at night which I'm sure is just down right spooky. I have to wait and see her until Thanksgiving when she comes down here. I think it's pretty cool because this year it's at Aunt Dianne's who Heidi has gotten to know and like through Facebook. Thanksgiving is quite possibly my favorite holiday of the year-- it's hard to beat the family + food combination.

On the negative side, this month has already been really tough. You might think that because I've fallen in love again, it would make it easier to get through the anniversary of Jessica's death... not so much. I find myself tearing up all the time-- especially when it comes to Jadyn's birthday. It's hard to get past the contrast of wanting to celebrate Jadyn's birthday with trying to cope with Jessica's death. Jadyn's having her party today and she is so excited.

Let me leave you with a Yikes story. Jadyn and Bryn were talking about Pre-K. They wanted to know why they went to different schools. I told Jadyn that to qualify for going to public school for Pre-K you had to either be learning to speak English or not make enough money. She got to go to Corey Elementary because I made just under the cap. However, the next year I made just over the max, so Bryn went to the Mother's Day Out program at Fielder Road Baptist Church. Then they asked the difference between the two. I told them that Bryn's school was more play and was only two days a week, but they still learned things while Jadyn's school was every day and focused more on learning things. When Jadyn heard that, she proudly said, "Then, I'm smarter." Not be outdone, and without mising a beat, Bryn grinned and said, "And I'm funner."

Not Alone

I have been longing for an easy button lately. I feel like I have been through enough hard stuff, and it would feel oh so good to coast. Sitting on church on Sunday though I realized that 1. it's not going to get any easier and 2. it's about time I shifted my focus from asking how can my life be better to how can I fit into God's plan for the world. Right now that plan starts with three people Jadyn, Bryn, and Katelyn. Thank goodness I'm not doing it alone. Yes, I rarely get a break from taking care of them, but I have lots of help. This last week my mother-in-love has been to Katelyn's volleyball games, Aunt Sandy came and did a clean sweep of the girls' rooms, my brother-in-law Garett watched them some of the days after school as did family friends Shelly and Leslie, my neighbor Al made a late night run to the grocery store, and it is truly amazing that people still pray for us. I'm making a trip to Philly this weekend to see Heidi and the number of people involved in coordinating a weekend of my girls' activities plus house sitting is pretty amazing. All this to say, I'm canceling the pity party and sending God a big thank you, if you want I'll let you sign the card :)

Happy Birthday

Happy birthday Jessica. I know that in life, you never wanted attention on you. You never looked forward to your birthday the way I look forward to mine. You never wanted to be the birthday person that has to do a silly dance or be sung to at a restaurant. You never thought one day should be all about you. One year ago though, your birthday was really special to me. It wasn't about growing old or what we got you for a present: it was about being thankful for one last birthday with you. I have no idea if they celebrate birthdays in heaven but if they do I'm hoping you have a big one there and have your best friend Jennifer over. We love you, we miss you, and we wish you a happy birthday.

Trip to Cali

All four of us made the trip to Sonoma, California for Alex's (Jessica's brother) wedding. Jadyn and Bryn were super excited because they got to be the Flower Girls. The Yikes can be shy sometimes, but not this time, they did a marvelous job and they looked oh so cute together walking down the aisle tossing flower petals. Katelyn was a junior bridesmaid and helped out with the house party. Especially when she gets dressed up, the question she gets most frequently asked is "How old are you?" Which was perfect because then she got to tell everyone that her birthday was Friday and she had just turned fifteen. The wedding was very well done and the Alex and his wife of one day now looked incredibly happy. We had a scare there for a little bit as the zipper broke on Brynnie's flower girl dress, but we were able to sew it up (thanks Krista). Bryn was super calm during the whole thing, but on the way to the wedding she asked, "Daddy how am I going to get out of my dress?" After that it was smooth sailing and we really enjoyed seeing family and being a part of their big day.

Just a Quick Post

Thank you faithful blog reader for the long wait in posting. I actually had a really busy night tonight which is typical in my life, but I thought tonight would be good time to share. I signed up the girls for art lessons on Monday nights so they could go with two friends of theirs. It's really nice because on Mondays one of those moms picks up the girls and takes them. She dropped them off at our house after they were done.

I had just picked up Katelyn from volleyball (she made the Freshman A team-- yeah!) and she was soon to be picked up by a friend to go to volleyball pictures. At the same time, I had Open House. Jadyn also had Open House at her school which obviously I was not able to make. Actually Jadyn was insistent that it was not Open House at her school but instead Parent Night. Open House she said was when parents came up to see all the work they had done that year and school had just started.

Anyway Al (or Mr. Owl as my kids call him) was gracious enough to watch the Yikes. I don't know but for whatever reason when we pulled up to his all three of us were not sure if we had the right house. We did but at the time for some reason it just didn't look right. Well anyway, as we started to get out Bryn piped up from the back seat, "If it's not the right house we can Ding Dong Ditch Him!" Actually she said Double Ditch him, but as with most complicated phrases she has her own version. I don't know if she even really knows what that it since she's never done it.

A First for Brynnie

It has been really hard for Brynnie at the Kaylor house because of Jadyn. Jadyn has a smile full of holes. New teeth keep coming in but baby teeth keep falling out. As soon as she notices it's loose she asks me to try and pull it out. I always tell her that it probably isn't ready, but I try anyway... then "pop" out it comes. Bryn has to had to endure over a year of this with not a loose tooth in sight. Then finally she got a wiggle! I tried to pull it, but it was firmly rooted. Day after day I tried to pull it out with no results. Then it started leaning like the Tower of Piza. The back part of the tooth was completely gone with only a small part of the front keeping its place in her mouth. Yet when I tried to pull it it stuck stubbornly like Briar Rabbit in tar. Today I tried in the morning, after lunch, late afternoon, but finally tonight I grabbed a tissue, gave it a good tug, and "pop." Brynnie's first reaction was to freak out. She wasn't expecting the blood in her mouth. A little bit of rinsing with water and spitting though and she smiled which was so cute with her missing tooth.

Heidi and Timothy are coming to Texas for the first time (if you don't count an airport stop they made in Houston) tomorrow and for the first time in awhile it's going to drop below 100. However, I don't think she'll appreciate the difference much. While she's here though I hope to take her mind off the heat a little bit with the food: Tex-Mex, Texas barbecue, and steak.

Sky Ranch

On Thursday last week I talked to the director of a wonderful Christian camp out in East Texas about sending my kids on scholarship to Sky Ranch. He ended up sending them and a big thank you to the families that had a part in this happening. They just got back yesterday, totally exhausted with tons of stories. Katelyn has been talking non-stop about what they did, the songs they sang, and God's impact on people there. I think my favorite story is about how a camp friend of hers named Mike dreaded going yet loved it once he went and said that God spoke to him while he was there.



As for me I turned 33 on Tuesday. It was tough not having my girls here for that, but it ended up being a great day. I ate dinner with my mother-in-love and then caught a movie with several friends. I couldn't help but reflect back on Jessica. She was thirty-three when she died. For some odd reason I used to think it was cool when we were the same age at least for a few months. She used to hate her birthday while I have always loved mine. It's not a matter of presents, I just can't wait to see what amazing things will happen in my life when I'm 33 and what people I will get to share those moments with.

My father-in-love, Mike, went to fly out to see Jessica's sister in Tennessee. He started having chest pains, so he flew back early. It's not unusual for our family to have stomach problems and heart burn, but he went to have his heart checked out just in case today. It turns out he had a heart attack on Tuesday. They were able to go in and remove the blockage and he will be hospitalized until at least Tuesday. He's at Harrist Methodist downtown Fort Worth.

Keep my friend Gary and his family in your prayers this week. God knows exactly what they need and how to comfort them.

Bryn is sick

Bryn has had a virus since last Friday. She threw up for a couple of days and then since has not eaten very much. She's drinking liquids so I'm not worried about dehydration but her fever is staying around 102 even with children's tylenol/motrin. Only Jadyn got to go to Camp Thurman this week-- I'm going to have to reschedule Bryn. Please pray that she starts feeling better and a big thank you to MeMaw and Popo for helping out.

Sorry for the long delay in posting

I played soccer late tonight at 11 and after getting home after midnight and soaking in the tub, I thought I'd post a quick one. I'd make it longer, but I've got to get up early for Jadyn's soccer pictures and indoor game in the morning. Bryn is playing on the same summer team, but she's sick so she won't be going. I have been so proud of my girls this week. They went to soccer camp all week together and although they fought some, they also showed how much they care about each other and they brought a smile to my face so many times this week.

I'm realizing now even with the time we had to prepare for Jessica's death, it's impossible to be completely prepared. Some things just have to be weathered. For example, in many ways Katelyn's best friend was Jessica. There was and is no other person who knew her so well. I think that void may be filled when she gets married, but for now it's a loss that must be endured. Another thing is while I made sure the girls would have continued reminders of who Jess was in the form of birthday cards for them each year, I didn't think to have her do it for me. My birthday is coming up and it would have been nice to have gotten a card from her.

Life of course though is unexpected every day and the best thing I can do is do the best I can with what I know. I will continue to raise up the girls in a way that she would be proud of and when life throws curve balls at least I'll go down swinging.

Jadyn's Baptism

Our church went out to Lake Granburry for a fish fry and baptisms. I got to baptize Jadyn with pastor Jason which was just about the coolest thing ever.

This song reminds me so much of Jess...

East Texas

We made a family trip out to East Texas this weekend. A college buddy of mine lives out there on a couple of acres complete with pond. He lives almost in Arkansas so it's over three hours to get there. About an hour into the trip Bryn piped up from the back seat that we were near. I told her that no we weren't, but she insisted that was what the sign said. When I asked her what sign she was talking about she told me to look at the back of the semi in front of us. I had to laugh because the truck's company name was half on one rear door and half on the other spelling "Wer" "ner." It was a nice get-away for the four of us. The girls favorite part was four-wheeling around the pond and in the cow pasture. I got to ride the coolest four-wheeler called an Argo. It doesn't go very fast but it climbed really steep hills and it floats in water, so we got to take it for a swim in the pond.

I really need the summer break that is approaching, but I'm going to really miss my kids from this year.

Bryn's Awards/ Kindergarten Graduation

Jadyn's Award Ceremony/1st Grade Graduation

ACA Optimist Rose

I'm about to head to bed, but before I do I wanted to share something neat that happened to me today. Arlington's biggest cheerleading program is done by ACA Optimist. Recently, they started something called the ACA Rose Charity which pays for a monthly bill of single parents, and next month it will be mine. Two neat things are the person who called and told me that I had gotten it is a single mom of one of my former students and four people nominated our family for it. I am very blessed to live in a community that is constantly thinking about us and a big thank you to those of you have Optimist cheerleaders.