Friday, February 29, 2008

Scan results

I spent almost two hours in my oncologists office, which I don't even think I did at diagnosis. We went over all the details of the last scan and compared them to the previous scans pictures. I never felt like I was rushed or that she did not have time for my questions.  I was in the room alone with Doctor Haley for close to an hour before we called in my family.  I must have asked three times if she wanted me to get them, and she just kept saying that she would go over all of it with them again, she just wanted to go over it with me first.  I felt this great connection between patient and physician... that she wanted me to understand what she was feeling.


All to say that the scans are particularly worse. I was actually quite surprised. I am having some increased pain, which usually clues me in, but I was just quite optimistic that I would be able to stay on the not so toxic Ixempra. I was REALLY praying that was the drug for me.  I am thankful that God knows the plan way before me.  I am also thankful for the past three months of relative side effect and pain free days.  

The new "plan" is to see an orthopedic surgeon right away as the progression to my hip makes them think the risk that I could fall/break this bone is significantly greater as the bone is eaten away in several places. She thinks a solution might be a pin put in my hip to make it more secure.  Again, having something to do is hopeful.  I have actually wanted to see an orthopedic doctor for a while as my mets are only in bone.  I thought this type of specialist might have a unique perspective.  Please pray I connect with the right doctor.  I will first get a referral for a doctor at my same hospital.  But if they cannot get me in soon, I will go outside UT Southwestern to get going as soon as possible.

Step two is to transfer to another hospital, a research hospital in the area, Mary Crowley Medical Research Center. It is a center devoted to clinical trials.

My oncologist thinks there is still treatments she can do, with various chemo treatments, but she also feels like we are in a crossroads, where a new avenue could really bring better results. She said at the Crowley center, I can get, hopefully some targeted therapy that would not be available through her for a while. I just need a good treatment now, as I have had 3 poor scans in a row.  

Pain now is manageable.  Dr. Haley wants me to use my cane for extra support even if I feel like I can walk without it (in that case I am trading to a nice hot pink number!).  I am also having good success taking Alieve.  I have the ability to double my pain patch, which is a good back up.  Fortunately, I have not needed it the last few days as the other has worked fine.  

I am pretty weary emotionally right now. But, I know my faith is not worth much if I am not trusting in Him in the bad news as well as the good. I am trusting in Him, who knew about these stupid results long before I did.  I am coveting your prayers right about now!

I remember I owe you pictures.  I have had a busy day and I knew this was important to get out to you.

Take care,
Jess

23 comments:

Anonymous said...

Hold tight to Gods love and plan. He is holding you tight in His arms as you go thru this time of weariness. He Loves You Jess and so do all of us.

Natalie Dickey said...

Jess...you inspire me! Your faith is amazing. I want you to know that we love you and we are praying for you and for Jake and for the girls. I am so glad to know that HE knows exactly what HE is doing...even if we don't like it right now! Love you!

Anonymous said...

We will walk on water Jessica!!! I love you so very very much..

Aunt Pam

Elaine A. said...

You don't know me, but I came over from Natalie's blog per her prayer request.

Just know that you are in my thoughts and prayers, as is you whole family. God's plan isn't always ours and sometimes that is hard to comprehend but you are his child and he loves you so much, especially in this trying time. May God bless you and your family.

The Yetters said...

Hey Jess,
Wish I was there to give you a big hug right now!

There were hundreds of women in that room with you last week - each of you fighting for each other. Challenging words yesterday, but now is the time for deep breaths and onto the next step.

Give your dad a hug, I understand how it feels to be feel far away and helpless.

Looking forward to seeing the pink cane.
xo
Aunt Janette

Anonymous said...

Jess,
You pop into my thoughts 100 times a day. Each time I think of you it is Gods way of reminding me to thank him for your example of faith and to pray for your and your family.

We love you all
The Stegall's

Anonymous said...

Jessica,

I have been thinking of and praying for you on and off today after I read your update this morning. Just wanted you to know we are praying.

Wendy

The Daroches said...

Jess, Just keep thinking positive and hang on to your wonderful FAITH You are in our prayers everyday. You will also be in our Prayer list at St. Vincents. You and your family are so precious to so many of us, know that we are thinking of all of you all the time. God Bless you all!
The Daroches

Anonymous said...

Jess,
It can never be said that you don't walk the walk. I am so blessed to be a part of your family. Thanks for keeping us all up to date, and allowing us to walk this journey with you. You are truly my hero. The weather is getting nice...lemme know when you are ready to go for a cruise on the bike. :)

Uncle Mike

Lynne said...

Jess -- I am so glad your Dad was there for your visit with Dr. Haley. We send our love, hugs....and of course prayers.

Dave and Lynne

admccomb said...

It's humbling how the Lord creates us to be creatures of hope and encouragement. I look at all the wonderful comments people have written to you, and I think, "Wow, at the end of the day, we are all in this journey called life together." Though far away, I love you, and I hope the research center has promising things for you. Even if you go to UT Southwestern...they have incredible research and facilities. I love you and hold your head high!

Aaron said...

We love you and are praying for you. We will pray God's guidance and peace over you and your family. You are precious to me, Jess.

Kim

Sarah said...

I had so much hope that Ixempra would be the wonder drug that made you feel better while making you get better twice as fast! I guess it at least it gave you a break to help you deal with all of these new changes in your journey. I hope that the research facility has just as amazing doctors as Dr. Haley. I love you and admire you, Jess!

McCullough Family said...

You come to mind often and therefore I pray for you often! Here is a verse that I've clung to before...Ps. 27:13 (NAS) I would have despaired unless I had believed that I would see the goodness of the Lord...Wait for the Lord;Be strong and let your heart take courage...
Carrie

Anonymous said...

Hey, Jess,
Wish the news were better, but you do inspire me. I am continuing to pray for you!
Peace and Blessings,
Doug from NY

Toni said...

Hello, I picked Natalie's blog from the Thursday 13 list and saw her request. You will be in my prayers.

Toni

Anonymous said...

Jessa,

Could it be possible to love you anymore? I wonder how we got so lucky to have Jesus place you in our family? We can do this, Jess. We are all on this journey together. What an honor to be able to travel it with you. He has you covered, wrapped in His arms. I can not fathom that He loves you more than we do...but He does...beyond understanding. I love you so much. Bring on the next step. We can do this!

Love you!
Aunt Sandy

Amy Sayegh said...

Hi Jessica,
It's been a while since I've posted, but you are always in my thoughts and prayers. I hope you will experience less pain with the upcoming treatment or surgeries. It seems like yesterday when you were here. I can't believe how quickly time passes. Just know that you are always in my thoughts and prayers, and you are truly my hero. You are one strong lady and an inspiration to everyone.
Love,
Amy

Anonymous said...

Jess,

I saw you sitting outside your Aunt Sandy's office today. I wish I'd known it was you at the time. I thought you were another TVS parent waiting to speak with Mrs. McNutt. I figured it out later when I returned to give your Aunt some prayers and scriputres for you.

I hope you are encouraged by these scriptures. My mom meditated on these sciptures and prayers daily, when she was diagnosed with cancer of the uterus. She said that she prayed the prayers once as a request, then thereafter said the same prayers thanking God for the healing. After surgery, one year and many scans, she is now well.

I want you to know we've already asked more people to join us in prayer for your healing, comfort and wisdom. We are praying that God protects and sustains you and your family. We are praying that God heals your body and restores you to complete health. May God place the right Doctors in your path. May God guide your decision process and give you hope and life. This will be our prayer. You are not alone. We will be praying for you constantly. So know that you have your family and close friends praying for you, and you have many more anonymous persons praying earnestly for you.
For the cause we also,
since the day we heard
it, do not cease to pray
for you, and to desire
that ye might be filled
with the knowledge of his
will in all wisdom and
spiritual understanding.
Colossians 1:27


Your Aunt Sandy was right. Your blog is very nice, and the music is great. I'll visit your blog again soon.

Lynnda

Anonymous said...

Dear Jessica -
You are truly an inspiration and I feel so blessed to know you! You are pillar of strength. Keep singing! Whatever it takes. I plan on seeing you watch Bryn tear it up on the soccer feild many more times!!
Briana Lavelle

Anonymous said...

Jessica-

I love you. I am beside you all the way. Thank God for you. We can do this togeter. All of us. You are my rock.

Aunt Diane

Anonymous said...

Jess, we are praying for you and all your family. God keeps you on my heart to pray for you. He loves you.
Love in Christ, Jeanette C

Frances said...

Hi, Jess. I met you years ago at Wood, and though we've moved to Houston, I've followed your blog and prayed for you for years.

You are one of the most fascinating women I've ever met. You face challenge with faith, you rejoice in daily blessings, and speak with courage and transparency about the trials you face.

You've taught me a lot, and I guess I just wanted to post (finally) to remind you that your words are reaching many more people than you'll ever know.

Keep blogging--you are surrounded by a "great cloud of witnesses" that are cheering you on.