Sunday, May 18, 2008

Playing catch up!

Okay, I have finished my Bible study/devotional, Just Enough Light for the Step I'm On.  Since I left off quite a while back I will just touch on some of the things that were so meaningful to me in the last 8 chapters and then, I encourage you to read to the book and delve deep into the study questions, making them as personal to you as possible.  You will be blessed, as I was!

I learned:
  • to trust that God has a calling for my life and not to worry if I missed the calling all-together, as God will find me wherever I am (even in the hospital!)
  • greatness is not about power, money, strength, accomplishments.  True greatness is not about me, it's about His greatness in me.
  • life can never consistently live up to my expectations. The level of happiness I experience in life does not depend on others; it depends on God.  Of course, I often rely on people and things, but when they disappoint me I feel hurt.  Although that is understandable,  it should not take away my joy.  She wrote, it pleases God when you have faith enough in the midst of your disappointment to put your hope and expectations in Him.
  • Psalm 61:1-4 "Hear my cry, O God, Attend to my prayer, From the end of the earth, I will cry to You, When my heart is overwhelmed,; Lead me to the rock that is higher that I. For you have been a shelter for me, A strong tower from the enemy.  I will abide in your tabernacle forever; I will trust in the shelter of your wings." I cling to this verse because it helps me remember of how He has answered my prayer before (have been a shelter!) and He will answer and lead me again.
  • that in times of great loss, we try to wrap our minds around how something like this could happen.  God wants us to let go of getting your arms around it and let God get His arms around you.
  • the last three chapters are about our past, present and future. It was a good set to end on.  There are issues in my past where I must simply forgive as unforgiveness eats at my present.  And when unforgivness rears its head again, I can say, I've dealt with that and forgiven that person/issue... and move on.  I must also forgive myself of past issues and let myself move on as well.  As for my present, if I am where God wants me to be right now, there are no greener pastures.  My future is bright and I am excited and hopeful as I remember 1 Corinthians 2:9 "Eye has not seen, nor ear heard, nor have entered into the heart of man the things which God has prepared for those who love Him."  Yea!! Even greater plans than I can dream up, and I am dreaming big!
We have had an eventful past few days with lots of doctors trying to make sense of my chest pain.  It is still there, but not as intense.  My fever come and goes, my heart rate is still a little high and my breathing a little shallow, but those are at least improving each day!  Jake mentioned that during a scan for my chest, the radiologist noticed the T-12 vertebrae.  So, until the neurosurgeons meet on Monday, I am not able to get up and in my brace as they do not want to complicate the issue.  I do not think we are looking at the same injury as in California where the tumor is wrapped around the spinal cord.  I was told this looks more like a compression fracture that could be fixed my inserting some cement to cushion in between the two vertebrae.  Have you ever heard of a cement cushion! Someone should try that one out in there house and let me know how comfy it is before I change out all my furniture.  I will have an MRI tomorrow to get a better look.  I will also have a nuclear test to completely rule out a blood clot causing my chest pain.  

The girls make me laugh all the time.  They always grab a small piece of chocolate from a basket in my hospital room when they come visit.  Bryn tried a Thousand Grand bar the other day, and after the first bite exclaimed, "De-crunchous!"  A bryn-ism I loved hearing.  I asked Katelyn yesterday IF we painted the house if she would want to change her colors.  Her paint is just a year old: teal, purple and lime green.  Her main color now is teal, so she said, rather confidently, "I would probably just switch the purple with the teal." Yeah, that was just what I was thinking!!! Not really:) Jadyn is always so serious and likes to lean new things and do them on her own.  When we were playing checkers, I made the mistake of saying that I saw a move where she could "jump" me with her checker. This was my downfall, for after much contemplation, she asked my to show her.  When I did, she refused to make the move and was mad the whole game! We even started over!! She was torn between wanting the advice and wanting to play on her own.  I thought it was precious, but it took a lot of convincing to get her to start over!! 

Love to all of you! Thank you for your prayers and help!


Anonymous said...

Glad to hear from you Jess. Keep in mind you are in all our thoughts and prayers. I pray that the doctors will get ahead of your issues and form a clear path for you.

Thinking of you and love you very much!!
Aunt Janette

Lynne said...

jess --- it was wonderufl to read your post and the stories about the girls. You continue in our prayers and we look forward to hearing that you continue to feel better each day.
Love, Lynne and Dave

Anonymous said...

It is good to read your thoughts Jess! I enjoy hearing about your devotional.......what is the book? I'd love to get it. Keep gaining that strength sweet Jess!

Much Love,
Barbara P.

Anonymous said...

hey jess! I absorbed the service this morning at Gateway just for you!! I even called your cell and just held it by my side during worship... so you should have a bit of live worship recorded on your cell phone! As soon a the service is posted on line, I will send you the link. You've gotta hear it!! Love and prayers...

Wendy Smith

Anonymous said...

I loved your sense of humor about the cement. I also enjoy hearing stories about your girls! Thanks for posting.

Thinking of you,
Wendy Casas