Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Time

Jessa's nurse woke me up at 3:30 this morning to tell me drastic changes were happening to her breathing, pulse rate, and skin color. Our family got here before the girls woke up. I talked to Katelyn first, then Jadyn and Bryn preparing them for the day to come. Eleven and half hours later Jessa went to be with the Lord. We mourn her passing even as we envy her for getting to Jesus first. We also still celebrated Jadyn's birthday. By leaving us today, Jess made sure that our family will celebrate every year on October 29th. Jadyn opened presents. We ate cake. We played games at Chuck E. Cheese's. When Jadyn looks back on today she will not only remember a day when she cried harder and longer than she has ever cried along with her two sisters and the rest of her family, but she will also remember a day of gifts and happiness.

Jessica was determined to glorify God using her life as an example. She did this as a mother sacrificing her time. Until she was too sick to go, her three children never knew what it was like not to have a mother at their school and sporting events. She supported her kids like roots support a tree. She did this as a wife by sacrificing her need to be always right, which she usually was. Her friends and family members loved her for the beautiful person she was. Many knew God because she knew Him.

I proposed to Jess on my birthday. I wrapped up the box with the diamond ring in birthday paper. Then I packed a picnic dinner. I took Jess to River Legacy Park where we ate on a blanket. Then I opened my presents, except for one. When I asked Jess to open it she looked at me strangely. At my insistence she finally opened it. The thing was the diamond ring really was a present to me because having her as a wife for almost ten years is the most precious gift I have ever gotten.

57 comments:

Anonymous said...

I pray for you now REST.

YOU, Jake, have fought the good fight. You have honored the vows you took when you had no idea how they would be tested, or how much loving could hurt... or how worthwhile such a deep love can be.

Rest in His love for you tonight.

I'll reclaim my parking spot once again in the morning ...

asking Him to rain down new mercies for the day.


Wendy Smith

Lynne said...

Jake -- you have been an incredible support to Jess and the girls...Your families' faith and willingness to share this journey have touched more people than you can ever imagine. Just as Jess would have wanted -- you celebrated Jaydn's birthday. We share your tears and take comfort in knowing that Jess is pain free and at peace.
We hold you in our prayers,
Dave and Lynne

Anonymous said...

Sweet family, you and your girls were in my prayers all day long Wednesday! Roses, a homecoming, and pizza & games at Chuck E Cheese...what a celebration of life! You are in my thoughts and prayers for the journey to come. Please let Katelyn know I am here for her and am thinking of her!!

Natalie Bartoo

natosha said...

I just "happened" upon your blog today, and tears are flowing down my cheeks just as if I had known you guys for years...
such a good husband and friend she had in you...love and peace for you

Anonymous said...

Jake, my heart truly aches for you and your family. I am so very sorry for your loss. Jess was a phenomenal woman, and her memory will always live on. Be proud of all you have done Jake- you have been an exemplary husband and father. The group was looking very forward to seeing you today but of course we will not bother you in this difficult time. We hope to see you back at Gilda's real soon. -Ellie

Anonymous said...

Jake,

I will keep you and your family in our prayers. You and Jess have been incredible witnesses to your faith in Jesus.

My mom is recognized as the sweetest women in the world. I think she has a plaque. When we ask our kids who is the sweetest person they know, two names come up. Emmy and Jessica, nobody else comes close. Jess was a wonderful friend.

Garry

Anonymous said...

Wow - words come hard when we are grieving, but words come easier when we are amazed and rejoicing.
Our Lord is speaking incredible words of love to Jess and He is speaking them to you as well.
Chris Basden and the boys

Wendy M said...

While my heart cries out for you, the girls and the whole family, I rejoice in Jessa's going home. I will continue to pray for all of you. Thank you for sharing this journey, thank you for sharing your faith.
Wendy Mizell

Alpha 1 Vann Clan said...

Jake,
Jess has touched so many lives throughout her days here on Earth--people that don't even know her and people that love her so dearly. I will continue to pray for you and the girls. Know that we are still here for you.
Kim

admccomb said...

My heart hurts when I think of how a woman so beautiful could have left so soon. But, she was a living testimony to God's will and Love. Lives are better because of the people she interacted with. And, I think the best legacies are the ones we leave in the hearts of others.

It pains me to think I couldn't say goodbye. And, I know I'm all the way in Houston, but please know that I love you all very much and everyone is in my thoughts and prayers.

Laurie Dotson said...

I will continue to pray for you and your family. Thank you for sharing your journey with us. It has inspired us all and touch our hearts. It has made myself and my children more thankful for life and health. It was been an example to all in learning what is really important in this life, and that is our personal relationship with Jesus. We may not all fact cancer, but we will all face difficulties. Thank you. thank you! You are in our thoughts and prayers.

Laurie Dotson

Mark said...

Jake,

I agree with Wendy Smith. It has been amazing to watch you as you honored your wife with your service and love. I also pray for rest and peace for you.

mark lindberg

Anonymous said...

We are so very sorry for your loss and are praying for comfort for you and your precious girls, as well as the rest of your family. In the brief time we have gone to church with your family, we have been so inspired by all of you, and most especially by Jessica. We take comfort knowing she is in the arms of Jesus right now. Please know that we will continue to pray, and let us know if there is anything we can do for you.

Suzanne and Michael Bohan
GCC

Anonymous said...

Your loss is also ours, we grieve for you. Her pain is now gone but the strength she has given you and your family will live on forever
Rejoice in the memories and joy she has left in your memories, in those memories she will live on forever unforgotten.

Jim, Kim, Alex, Avery & Landen said...

Thank you for sharing your journey with us. We will continue to pray for you and the girls. Jessica and you both have brought glory to the Lord.

Amy Sayegh said...

Dear Jake,
I don't think you could know how you and Jessica have affected others. Through your testimony, life, love and struggles. She lives on in the hearts and lives of those she touched, and in the lives of your beautiful girls. Her smile is alive and well in their faces.

It is difficult for me knowing we were diagnosed within about two weeks of each other and that is how our journey together began. I am so thankful for every day the Lord lets me be on this earth with my children. I understand so intimately how you live for your children and how that takes presidence even over your own needs. There is nothing as important and your relationship with Jesus Christ and passing that to your children. What a great mother, wife and child of God. She will be missed.

Anonymous said...

Precious Family,
There is one verse from God's Holy Word that floods my mind for you all. Zephaniah 3:17 The Lord your God is in your midst, The Mighty One will save; He will rejoice over you with gladness, He will quiet you in His love, He will rejoice over you with singing.

Jake, the reason He is there is because you let Him be there. Through this heart breaking journey you have done the only thing that matters in life; you have pointed others to Jesus. You shall be rewarded.
With a heart of love,
Kathy Hayes

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Anonymous said...

Jake,you dont know me,and I dont know you.You and I worked next to each other at a small church repairing a roof one Saturday(Edge Sunday class LABC).I must say that you have been an inspiration to me and have shown what it is to love and cherish one of the greatest blessings God gives a man,his wife.I have learned from your postings to cherish every moment with my wife.My prayers are with you and your daughters.I didnt know Jessica but knew of her.God bless you for sharing the journey,and touching so many souls. Gabriel Zuniga

Anonymous said...

My sister and I will pray for you and your family. I can't imagine the pain you must be going through, but I assure you I know what it's like to lose someone special. You will ALWAYS be prayed for. Tell your daughters to have a happy Halloween and to enjoy the good times you had with your wife. Remember that my sister and I will never forget how special you wife was and still is. Your school is 100% behind you!

With LOVE,

Ryan and Kaitlyn Wells

basstwo said...

We mourn along with you. We are praying for you & the girls along with the whole family down there and the rest of us up here in Oregon.

Anonymous said...

My prayers are with you and the girls. May the Lord bless you with peace and rest. I had only met Jessica a couple of times at church. That's all it took to see her faith and strength! She was a wonderful woman, definitely someone to envy! May God be with you and the whole family!
Christie M.
Bartlesville, OK (via Arlington, TX)

Susan said...

Jake
We do not know each other but I know Jen. We go to church together and spend Mondays in our Life Groups. My deepest prayers and love go out to you and your family. Being a mom of 3 myself I could not imagine my life without my spouse. Your courage and strength is beyond words. May God continue to give you strength and peace during this time of your life. Jessicas love will never die!! We know she is with our loving Father being pain free and smiling down on you. God bless you and your family Jake.
Susan Hurst

Anonymous said...

Kaylor family
Thank you for the privilege of praying for your family during this journey. You have inspired us with your witness. As our hearts break with you for your loss, we are rejoicing that Jessica is finally at peace. We pray for comfort, peace and especially rest. So many people love you and your family, you are a blessing to us all.
May God continue to sustain you during this difficult time. You have touched more lives than you will ever know....Jessica's journey was world wide. God love and bless you!

Marla said...

Many prayers for your sweet family. May your beautiful wife and mother rest in peace.

Anonymous said...

Jessica - may your time with the Lord be wonderful. I hope to meet you there one day.

Jake - Girls - Family.... you were blessed with someone so wonderful and strong. An inspiration to ALL. In this time of grief continue to pray and let Jessica's legacy live on and be strong.

love from someone on the plant who cares and wishes you well.

Anonymous said...

Jake,
I pray for continued mercy for your sweet family each day. I know you rejoice that Jess is with her Jesus -her new body perfect in every way! I also pray for rest and peace for all of you now that your precious wife is in God's hands.

Hannah Claire asked me yesterday if Ms. Jessica gets to see Jesus face-what a glorious day for her!

I finished reading a book last week that touched me and of course, reminded me of Jessica. The author/character was encouraging his best friend after their loss of a loved one. He said that "Sometimes God needs to call the good ones home to bring GLORY to His name."

Sure enough, all of your lives and testimony have brought glory to his name!

Heather, David, Hope and
Hannah Claire Brooks

bshenry said...

Praying for you and the girls. We love you all.

Gary & Beckey Henry

Anonymous said...

Jake, the legacy Jess has left will live on in all the lives she has touched.

"Leaving a legacy" might be a cliche people use,but for those of us who were blessed to know Jess watched a Legacy of love and hope being lived out right in front of our eyes.

I am so blessed to have the privlage of praying for your family
Know that I will continue to pray!
We love your family so much, Laura Shannon

Karla Hagan said...

I met Jessica about a year ago. I had the Care Bear 4 year old class from Fielder Road over for a play date; Bryn was in this class with Carson, my son. We were all getting to know each other, and Jessica and I had a wonderful conversation at my kitchen table. There are a lot of reasons I love my kitchen table. It is a place in my home filled with lots of memories. In fact, Father has given me the vision of a kitchen table this week as a real point of prayer. I believe much of the battle we fight as families can be won as we gather together at the kitchen table each and every day. I remember the very chair Jessica sat in, and in fact it is the chair that I ususally sit in when my family sits down for a meal. I can promise you that each time I sit there, I will remember your dear mother and wife! She was rockin! First, she loved her girls. I remember watching her speak to Bryn, confident of what she expected but so kind in the way that she said it. She adored Bryn, and I know that she felt that way about Jaden and Katelyn. Second, she was authentic. She told me of her journey with cancer with a pretty matter-of-fact tone. Her words were sprinkled with hope and she had a air of resolve that beckoned me closer to the place she was receiving it, her best friend, Father God. Last, she overwhelmed me with her peace. It spilled out of her eyes. It was like she created a space for God to reside and invited whomever she was speaking with to join her. Whether I was reading your blogspot, enjoying a class party at Fielder Road, or just catching a conversation with you when we went to pick up our kids, what a blessing that I did join you, Jessica, on many occassions since then!

holding hands with all of you, Karla Hagan

Chris and Julie Medley said...

Kaylor Family,
You have been a great example of how to celebrate life in the midst of hard circumstances. Thank you for sharing with us your dependence on God and His unfailing love.
We're still praying for you.

Anonymous said...

Jake and family,
Thank you for sharing this incredible journey with us... Jessica has touched so many lives with her strength and will. I feel priviledged to have known her! Our prayers will continue for you as you raise your girls with the love and faith they've known all of their lives.
Stephanie Collins

Anonymous said...

It is really hard to put into words how your family has touched this community.
My daughter cried for you and your daughters, but was at peace because she knew the deep level of faith that your family has.
"Death is for the living". That was told to me when I suffered through the loss of my brother-in-law. That one sentence helped me through a tough time. It is very true.
Jessica is now in the arms of God and smiles down on you and your family.
God bless you Jacob.
God bless your beautiful daughters, and mostly God bless Jessica. May she continue to shine and share her blessings with this community through you and her babies.

In faith -
Tracie Wankowicz and Caitlyn Kaskabas

Anonymous said...

We are praying for you & your girls.

Anonymous said...

I don't think there is anything that anyone can say to take away the pain of this blow, but I think you are a truly amazing family and husband. The support and unconditional love that you gave to Jessica throughout her battle is above and beyond amazing. She has left behind three wonderful little girls, who will remember their mother with love, grace, and gratitude for the time they were able to spend with her.

Jilian said...

Jake,
I'm so sad for your family's loss. :( I don't think I have met any of you except Jadyn (through Bryce), but we have been praying for your family for over a year now and will continue to. This blog is awesome, I wish I had found it sooner!

I texted my husband at work to pray for Jessica yesterday after hearing an update at Bible Study. God did something awesomely encouraging at 12:33 and Shawn took pics, I'd love to forward them to you if someone tells me where to send them!
:) Jilian, Bryce and the rest of the Baugh fam

jilianbaugh@gmail.com

Anonymous said...

Bless you and your family. Thank you for the testimony that Jessica and you have shared through this difficult time. Her testimony and yours have strengthened lives. I will continue to pray for your family you adjust. Thank you again for your words.

G Pierce said...

Jake, thank you for being such a great example of sacrificial love. You and the girls will be in our continued thoughts and prayers.

Gina, Steve, Cody & Caleb

Julianna said...

Like Jochibed to Moses, she was an amazing witness to her children. She had even longer than Jochibed had with Moses to instill in the girls God's precious truth. Unlike Moses, your children still have you to guide them and teach the true word.
Many prayers,
Julianna
(just and acquaintance to Jessica)

Anonymous said...

We all live to be loved. One could only hope to have a spouse that loves them unconditionally, during the darkest hours, doing the things one never wanted to do. How amazing that you were able to reflect on the early days of your relationship during your last hours with Jessica. Your daughters are very fortunate to have such a wonderful role model. Our prayers and thoughts are with you and your family.

Kay said...

I am so sorry for your loss. Only Jesus can fill the void and ease the pain. I know Jessica is rejoicing right now in Heaven - WOW, I CAN ONLY IMAGINE!!!
Kay DiBenedetto

Anonymous said...

I've followed the blog and prayed for Jess for years, even after we moved away from Arlington. I knew Jess, from Wood, but I don't think I ever met you, Jake. There are many more people than you'll ever know who love and pray for your family

This blog has been a gift to many, and I'm glad it will someday be a precious gift to your children--to remember their mother's love, the love their parents had for each other, and the powerful testimony you've given of joy and praise and great strength and peace in troubling times. What a treasure.

May the God of all comfort give you peace.

Frances

Keystone said...

I'm sorry for your loss; your entire family is in my prayers.

Anonymous said...

My prayers are for you and your girls, to be comforted by Jesus in this time and to grow closer to Him daily...

Anonymous said...

Such a dear sweet angel. Jessica and the entire family have shown us such love, grace and the Love of God! Jessica's ministry will continue for a very long time.

Anonymous said...

Even though we rejoyce that God has granted Jess peace, our heart aches for you. Your family has deeply touched us both personally and through your wrighting. Jake and Jessica you have been an inspiration to our family. We have seen God's love pour outward from you both. Thank you for sharing your lives with us. We will pray God's perfect peace, mercy and strength as you continue on your journey.
We love you!
Brent and Liesl Parker

katrina said...

I cannot say it any better than my sister, Elizabeth:
ejbauerlein.blogspot.com

The Kaylors, McNutts and Yetters remain in our prayers. Our love to you all.

Katrina

Anonymous said...

Jake -

As we've all said before, thanks for sharing these moments and memories with us. We pray for peace, comfort and rest for you and your girls.

Jessica Strength & family

Anonymous said...

To the Kaylors, McNutts and Yetters --

Praying for you all.

Health & blessings,
Susan

April said...

Jessica was such a sweet person, and both of you inspired myself and so many others as you shared your journey. Thank you for your willingness to glorify God in all of this...what a testimony.
Please know that you, the girls and all of the family are in our prayers.
You are loved!

April Becker

Anonymous said...

Thank you for sharing your story - all of it - with such grace and faith. What a true testimony to love and family and faith. I pray you peace and that your wonderful memories of amazing Jessica will give you joy forever.
Kristin Pordash

Anonymous said...

We are praying for you and the girls. I have been praying for the girls to have spiritual wisdom beyond their years so that they can have peace as they miss their mom. I have also been praying for strength and peace for you and all the family. Like others have said we appreciate your open sharing which has pointed us all to God's love. I and so many others, will miss Jessica and her day to day example, but I'm glad she is healed and whole.

Wendy Casas

Tammy said...

Thank you for sharing with us everything! We will continue to pray for you & the girls & all the family every day. May God wrap His arms of strength around each of you during the next few days.
We love you all,
Tammy,Ron,Tiffany & Jeremy Glover

Anonymous said...

The whole Boles Junior High 8th grade class and I are praying for you and your family. May you be as strong as Jessica was. We all love you<3

Taylor said...

It is great to see how much Jess was loved by all who have left comments here and on facebook and such, and the many more that would if they knew they could. Obviously she made such a huge impact on oh so very many people, and I hope you don't forget that.

I find it somewhat ironic that she was called Home at the end of breast cancer awareness month. Hers is such an exemplary story that I think she would probably wish for it to be shared to inform others about getting tested.

I hope this verse (filled with many commas) which was from Jessica's own testimony entry on here will help calm you and give you peace throughout everything:

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus" Philippians 4:6-7.

Anonymous said...

you have been so brave and i am so happy that you could stay with jessica to the end that was the right thing to do and i hope to see you soon
ily
shelby

Anonymous said...

Prayers from a looker on from Southwest Airlines. I can only imagine...