Top 10

Although we met with two hospice providers today, the only think I am sure about is that hospice is a wonderful program. For me, it was kind of like the word "radiation" before Jess had cancer-- I knew radiation helped fight cancer but I didn't have the slightest idea of how it worked. It turns out hospice is a team of people who work together to provide pain management and comfort after aggressive treatment is no longer done. There's an RN nurse, a chaplain, a doctor, a social worker, and an LVN nurse all working in conjunction with each other.

There are still important decisions to be made that I'm not sure about yet, so here's something I do know: the top ten reasons Jess is an inspiration to me:
1. She impresses everyone who meets her without trying to
2. She never ever tells me when it's time for me to leave the hospital for the night so she can get some rest
3. The thing that most scares her about dying is how it will effect the rest of us, not dying itself
4. Even though she has experienced more pain lately than most people ever will, if you ask her is she's in pain she just says she's uncomfortable
5. She still manages to look beautiful with her dark brown eyes despite being so sick
6. She is brave even when she is scared
7. She has a smile that lights up the room despite paralysis in her face and still laughs although it is hard to get a deep breath
8. She inspires doctors and nurses
9. She worries that the effects of her cancer inconvenience other people and that she is not "pulling her weight"
10. When she was on hold with 911 she asked the friend that was with her how she was doing