A day of rest

Today was a day of rest with no therapy. I enjoyed my time reading and catching up on some various things I'd been wanting to finish.  I also got a nice visit from my mom and cousin Ashley this evening. Ashley was on her way back home from a trip, and surprised me which was fun! It was good to catch up.  

I have been in rehab now for one week and am excited with all that has happened in this short time. It makes me more excited to find out what I will be able to do with three more weeks!

I had a great and tearful time with God this morning with my devotional.  The chapter was "Refusing to be afraid of the dark". It talks about how believers will never be in total darkness as the light of Christ is in us forever.  It relates God's truth to having a baby and knowing with certainty that when the doctor says, "It's a girl!" it is truth.  You don't wake up the next morning and say, "What did we have?". You don't call your friend the following week and ask, "Do you remember if I had a boy or girl?" Once the heart knowledge of Jesus has penetrated your heart, mind and soul, God wants you to have the same certainty about Him.  No doubts; you have his light and you can never be in total darkness again.  Which brings me to another truth that is meaningful to me right now which is sometimes God allows things to grow dark in our lives in order to grow us up and teach us about Himself.  Some things we accomplish in the darkness cannot happen in other settings.

This is so true. I have learned so much about God's complete provision. Even when we are headed down an unknown path, God provides a way before we even get there, meeting our every need. I have learned about surrender, and letting God have control of each part of my life. And SO much more about the strength of family and protection of the girls, trusting God takes away fear, how to love God above all else, and trusting completely the path He has set for me...lessons learned in the dark, which is actually filled with a very bright light. My devotional says, "The treasure we find in the darkness is Him."  I love it!

Isaiah 50:10 "Who walks in darkness and has no light? Let him trust in the name of the Lord and rely upon his God."

Much love,

Jess

Therapy days...

Hi all!

Today in PT I did two new things. First, I did a "transfer" mostly by myself from a wheelchair to an exercise table!! It was slow and steady, but I did it! Also, I stood up!! With much assistance with someone on front and behind me, I stood for 1 min and 5 seconds! Yea for new accomplishments.

Thursday and Friday in therapy have been both good challenging. I am seeing growth in muscle strength every day.  This is very encouraging.  For example, we will do an exercise daily that has me try to pull my knee to my chest, lying down.  The first couple days, I could see the muscle twitch like it was trying to move.  The last few days, I can see the while leg come up about an inch. Not much, but improvement.  It encourages me to know that each day could bring more and more movement and strength back. 

One prayer request is that I am increasingly uncomfortable in my brace, which I have to wear when I am up.  I am not sure why the last few days have been quite difficult.  I am working with the ortho department to see what adjustments can be made. They have already cut it down some, but they are going to work on it again Monday.

Bryn said something funny last night when she came to visit.  We were coloring a picture of Cinderella, Jasmine and Snow White together and as we were finishing, she said, "Hubba Hubba!" I looked at her and asked he what she said, hoping I heard wrong.  "Hubba Hubba!" she said again.  I was hard to not bust out laughing and I asked where she heard that.  She said from a commercial with a girl and a football player.  Great! Now my 4 year old is oogling Disney princesses saying "Hubba Hubba!" Hopefully, she will not be repeating that one again!:) 

This week has gone so smoothly at home due to the help of so many people.  Thank you for taking such an active role in helping our family.  I am continually blown away by the support and care of each of you.  Yesterday, I was blessed with a big care basket from Jadyn's kindergarten class along with being able to read letters from each of her classmates urging me to get well soon complete with colorful rainbows, hearts, and cute drawings.  It was a treasure.  

Hope you are all doing well today!

Much love.,

Jess

Outside time

Today was a great day of therapy. I felt more confident in the transfer to the wheelchair and back to bed. I still don't think I am doing much, but they say I am. I did some great exercises and can see my strength improving.

The best news is that while I was doing some wheelchair mobility training, I got to go outside!! It was perfect weather and I just strolled up and down the large walkway/atrium of the hospital. It felt amazing to be out in the fresh air. My big goal is to stay straight in the wheelchair as I veer to the right because right now my left arm is a little stronger than my right. Lean to the left, wheel to the right...it is a delicate balance that will come soon I am sure. I already felt some success with our time today. I also need to learn to pick up the speed as when we were heading upstairs, I missed one elevator for going so slow! That will come too.

I might have mentioned my arm pain in a past post.  There is a pain that make it difficult to extend my arm fully, or bend to my shoulder all the way.  I have just dealt with it for months now.  As my arm strength is vital, the doctors looked into it further.  My Rehab doctor, Dr. Mendez, looked over my past scans and found that my last bone scan revealed a tumor in the area of my pain. I never knew about it.  The tumor itself should not necessarily evoke pain, but I might have some swelling and/or fluid build up as well as some muscle soreness. She sent a pain management doctor to see me today.  He was very nice and told me there are some things to do now (I am starting a low dose of Celebrex) and he is going to review my scans and talk to Dr. Haley about some other potential treatments.  I am just glad to have some answers and doctors who are on top of it.  Another reason I am so blessed to be in this hospital for rehab with all the doctors able to both see me quickly, do scans, and all work together. 

My BSF (Bible Study Fellowship) small group came to see me for lunch fellowship today. It was so great to see them and they were so sweet to make the long drive up. It was a great break to my day to see them in between therapy. I will always have off from 12-1 for lunch.

My group also presented me with MANY gift cards to restaurants for Jake and the girls. Several other groups like our Sunday school, Jadyn's precious basketball team, and the girl's schools have done the same thing. It is a huge blessing as each night is different for Jake so gathering meals would be harder. Jake and the girls have been eating out a lot. Jake decided that they were going to start making healthier eating out practices, like no more french fries. Katelyn told Jake yesterday at Chick-fil-A, while eating chicken and fruit, "Dad, it just doesn't feel like we're at Chick-fil-A without the fries. It is just like eating... chicken... and fruit." Jake said, "Katelyn, you are eating chicken and fruit." I am very thankful to hear that news, as I am all for making it as healthy as possible during this time.

A friend emailed me for specific prayer requests I had for a prayer time she was having. Since I wrote them all out, I thought I would post them for you too. I love praying specifically and boldly presenting my heart's desire before Him. So, they are long, but here they are:

Physically, I am praying for specific healing of my nerves, that they would begin re-firing to each muscle group. Also, strengthening of my muscles in my legs as well as arm strength to accomplish daily tasks until my legs start working better. Also, we are doing very little right now to stop the cancer growth. I will be able to get radiation in 2-3 weeks to several areas which will help. I will then hopefully start some type of treatment/chemo with low side effects as I need all my strength for rehab right now. So, I am boldly praying that the cancer is slowing despite the lack of chemotherapy. Lastly, pray the treatment the doctor is giving me is correct and effective for my arm pain and I gain more mobility and strength in this area.

Emotionally, you can pray that I continue to have God's peace that passes understanding. I pray that I do not take one step without His help and lean not on my own understanding, but follow Him down the path He has paved for me. I am grateful for the extra time I have been able to spend in the Word and in Bible study while I am in the hospital.

Pray for my family to be taken care of completely in my absence. Pray for calmness and routine in the house and good attitudes all around. Pray that Jake is able to be both mom and dad during this time, remain calm under pressure and be able to have moments of down time for himself. Pray that the girls, Katelyn, Jadyn and Bryn have the ability to cope with all the changes and be stronger because of them.

Finally, pray that we as a family would draw closer to God during this time of struggle and challenge. Pray we would grow stronger as a family because of it. And that we would be a testimony to God's faithfulness, provision, grace, healing and peace.  

Thank you!

Much love and blessings,

Jess

A shower!!!

Today was my second day of PT and OT, and it was definitely a harder day today.

Yesterday we worked on arm strengthening and getting into a wheelchair, which I did twice. This is quite a challenge. First, I have to log roll into a brace, roll onto my side and push up to the side of the bed. I can do most of this myself, people are now just moving my legs for me. This is the easy part. However, this is what I have been doing for a few weeks now. That gives me great hope that in a few weeks the following will be easy too. Putting a rectangular board under one leg making a bridge from the bed to the wheelchair, then lifting and moving myself over the board to the chair. It is not sliding, which sounds more practical. And, I feel like I am doing none of the work. Pray for more upper body strength to come soon with all these exercises as there is definitely a need for them in every task I do. Whew! So that is getting in. Then, once I am there, I am fairly comfortable. I am learning how to control the wheelchair, make turns, and try to keep going straight instead of my typical veering to the right. I also from the wheelchair go into a big gym to exercise. They have great machines and gadgets to help my progression. So, then the ardorous process of getting back into bed. I did that twice yesterday!!

But, today was even more amazing. I got into the wheelchair at 11:00 for PT and when that workout was over, decided to stay in the wheelchair until OT at 1:30. That is the longest stretch I've been up. I was quite proud. The best news is that when my OT Kathy came in, she said that she would give me a SHOWER! Okay, first shower in 5 weeks. Yippie! Sponge bathing is only so good. There is nothing quite like the water hitting you for the first time in a while. I was so grateful for it. I can tell why we did it in therapy, it was hard work to move to the shower chair (imagine the wheelchair move above while wet!). But, well -worth the effort as I am now SO clean and comfortably in bed for the rest of the night. It was a successful day.

Thanks for your continued prayers and support. Progress is being made each day. It's great to have the success toward reaching my many goals. Lastly, I received a tentative time of stay here at 4 weeks. I will trust that each day brings me closer home. God's grace, strength, and hope has covered me daily, giving me just what I need to take one day at a time.

With big smiles and much love,
Jess

Picture update...

Okay, I am updating a long time off from pictures. I hope you enjoy them. I tried to make them in order from the present, but if not, you'll still get the idea. Today was a good day of rest. I will start tomorrow full force. They decided to wait to get into a wheelchair until the PT develops the right way to do it for me. I am sure I will have a lot to tell you tomorrow.

One funny. My sister Hope came to visit with my nephew Austin and niece Ella Grace. Austin did just great, and was in such tight quarters. Every once in a while Hope and I wanted to talk about something and would ask Austin to go out and slowly get a drink of water to give us a minute or two alone. He would, but after a few times, he said, "No, the nurse keeps asking me questions." We wondered what questions, and he said she asked if he played soccer (he was wearing an old uniform) or what grade he was in. But later the comments were, "you sure are thirsty!" And then finally, "Would you like me to get you a cup?"!!! Okay, we did not make him go out after that! Poor thing.

Happy reunion...the most wonderful feeling in the world was to have my family together.






Jake with his grandparents who live right in San Diego. It was a blessing for us to see them so much.



Here was a photo taken of Bryn talking to me on the phone from the hospital. This was a common thing as I loved just hearing their voices.



Here are a few pictures from when Katie got to come visit me in the hospital in CA due to a very generous mileage ticket given to us. As she is 13, she is the only one who could come. She was the best medicine ever!




My wonderful cousin Zander was baptized a week ago. I wish I could have been there. I did see a video and he was so brave following just what Jesus wants in publicly showing others that Jesus is the boss and Lord in his life. I heard our family made up an entire section of the sanctuary! Praise God!



My mom and Jacque helped make Easter special for the girls. Easter was my big surgery day, and I knew that the girls were having fun and going to church back home. It was difficult to be away for the holiday. The girls look so happy. Katelyn was enjoying vacationing with a friend in Midland. Her sweet friend and their family wrapped their arms around Katie and made her feel like family. I am so blessed by their help that week keeping Katelyn. Here are some fun Easter pictures of the yikes, and at an egg hunt at MeMaw's with cousin Austin.









My family worked live a village to get Bryn ready for Kindergarten Round-up while I was in the hospital. I am so grateful that Bryn felt so special on her special day. Round up is her first experience as a student at Wood Elementary where she will be in just a few months this fall. I can't believe my baby is almost 5! She looks so big in these pictures.





This is Sandy and myself the first night in beautiful Torrey Pines Resort and Spa. There was an amazing sunset from our view of the golf course, rolling hills and a forever ocean. Such a tranquil start.



My dad visited us in Texas for a fun weekend. Here are a few photos from that visit.






This is a picture of me in Florida at the Young Survivor's Conference. I had a great time and SO enjoyed lunch at the beach with two new friends and fellow survivors.



Jadyn had open house at her school to show off all the great work she has been doing. She has the best kindergarten teacher in the world, Mrs. Maurer, whom Jadyn adores.






Bryn really had a great soccer season. She went from the back of the pack last year, to kicking the ball a lot more. She is learning to run faster and kick harder, and we are so proud of her.






Jadyn is a good little soccer player. Jake loves coaching her team.




Jadyn's basketball team had a great season...go shooting stars!

New home

Well I am all settled in here at Zale and it is so good to be onto the next step. I am in a different room than I originally thought, 814.  I have a prettier view and nicer room than before.  Also, the nursing staff is great.  My nurse also told me that the nurses during the week work M-F so I will have much greater consistently.  

I will start my rigorous  PT and OT on Monday. I don't know what I am in for, but I am ready for the next step.  They already brought in my wheelchair and say they can get me into it tomorrow. If that happens, they really are moving fast! I will continue to trust that they know just what to do.  

I will post more soon, but I just wanted to let you know the outcome of your prayers! Thank you God, for this moment.

Love,

Jess

Blessings

I have had a great couple of days with lots of visitors and good news from doctors! 

The best news is that a bed opened up at the rehab hospital at Zale Lipshi, so that will be my new home for a time beginning tomorrow!!! I am supposed to transfer at 11:30 to room 812.  I will let you know if that changes.  I will also let you know tomorrow about their policies, etc. I am hoping that since it is in the same hospital system that I will still have cell phone/computer access, but we will see. One thing for sure is that I will have a lot less down time as I will have rehab 3 hours a day.  I am looking forward to the challenge as each step will bring me closer to my goals.  Have I mentioned that I am not sure of my goals yet?!?

 I am assured by my PT and OT that they will make big plans in rehab.  Sometimes I slip into charting the plan by myself.  Today, I realized that other people have had my injury.  And there was a plan.  I have a realistic vision now that they have met at least one person like me right there at Zale! But I am most assured by my God who knows all plans.  

"You will show me the path of life; In your presence is the fullness of joy; At your right hand are pleasures forevermore." Psalm 16:11 

Each day, I ask for enough light and grace, blessing and courage for that day.  I ask for the path in front of me to be clear and obvious.  And then I am filled with the peace that He is directing my steps.  

Thoughts of what the next days will bring are sometimes heavy and always unknown.  I wish I could talk to someone who has been there ahead of me to tell me exactly what happened to them.  Thank you for praying for me to be okay with the unknown and remember constantly Who knows it all. 

Two requests:

Pray for any anxiety: "Do not be anxious about anything.  But in everything with prayer and petition with thanksgiving present your requests to God.  And the peace of God which transcends all understanding will guard our hearts and our minds in Christ Jesus." Phillipians 4: 6-7

Pray for tomorrow: "The path of the just is like the shining sun, That shines ever brighter unto the perfect day." Proverbs 4:18

I love you all and am constantly encouraged by your email, calls, visits, prayers, support... you are an amazing group to be with in this journey.  

Jess

The Ilium and the Odyssey

Why not do hip surgery? Several doctors answered that today. Jessa's hip break is in the Illiac crest. I didn't know what the Illium was (if you want to know here's a link: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ilium_(bone) ). Jessa's break is in the top of her hip not the socket. What that means for her is that she probably won't have surgery before they radiate the hip. She had her last back surgery two weeks ago which means radiation is at least still two weeks away. Jess is all set to go to rehab at Zale Lipshy hospital (http://www.utsouthwestern.edu/patientcare/medicalservices/hospitals/zalelipshy.html) but they are not ready for her yet as they are waiting for a bed to open up. I'm going to pray for that person whose bed she will be taking-- the way I see it that's a win-win situation.

I got to see Jess twice today, but I'm going to bring the kids tomorrow since they're off school :) This week in the midst of being tired and uncertain I have been amazed at God's timing and provision. There have been many, many things that have worked out just perfectly. I think people often call God by the wrong name when they call him coincidence! One final word-- blogger will update you when there is a new post if you click on "subscribe to posts (atom)" at the bottom of the page.

Scans and the Return of Yikes Stories

Yesterday, the Dallas doctors wanted their own MRI and CT scans to compare with the ones at Scripps. What this meant for Jess was leaving her room at 5 PM and coming back at a quarter til 8. Jess is an amazing person because she was more worried about us (friends and family) waiting than she was about being uncomfortable for almost three hours. She was supposed to have an x-ray last night too-- but she told them she had enough and got the x-ray done tonight instead.

Leaving Scripps was a bit like leaving family-- everyone had fallen in love with Jess by the time she left. Jessa's amazing spirit is starting to be noticed at St. Paul, but I'm not sure she will be there long enough to make those same bonds she had in San Diego. It's quite possible she will go to a rehab hospital soon. There is no email a patient service at St. Paul, but there is Internet in the patient rooms (Yippee!), so you can email Jess directly at JessicaKaylor@yahoo.com. She's not always up for returning emails, but she loves to get them.

I am so glad I can share Yikes stories with you again. Jadyn and Bryn were talking in the car about what president they wanted to be. Jadyn said she wanted to be George Bush. Bryn didn't know any other presidents than Abraham Lincoln (though he would have been a fine choice), so she asked me who the first president was. George Washington I told her. Not to be outdone, Jadyn told her than I'll be George Washington D.C.!

Thank you, thank you!

Hi all!

It's great to be home!!!! 

Thank you, thank you for your prayers, support, and help in getting me home to Texas! I am beyond words to say how filled my heart is for all of you with overflowing gratitude and blessings that made this al possible.  

Here are a few pictures from the flight, from my dad who saw us off in CA.

I know Jake told you of the flight, but I wanted to reiterate how nice it was, and how smooth the whole flight was, especially the landing.  It also went so quickly, and I was able to sleep and be without pain for the whole trip!  

Today was full of new doctors and a long evening of testing.  I had been waiting on the scans all day, and they finally came about 5 PM!  Tomorrow, the doctors will be able to review the scans and make some recommendations.  They are all treating me nicely and I feel comfortable here. 

 

But, the best part of today was seeing some familiar faces of my grandparents, dad (Mike), mom, Shannon, Leann, and Jake with the precious girls.  Yea!

I hope to see you all. My rehab hospital will be decided soon, and I am excited to be on the the next step in the plan.  

Love you,

Jess

    

 

Home Sweet Home

The time stamp on this blog will be right for once as we are back in Texas! Here's what happened today:

The ambulance was due to arrive at 10:30, and for me it felt like at least a day passed from when I got up at 7 to then. The EMTs didn't arrive until 10:45 though and those fifteen minutes felt like a day as well. Although there was an airport close our flight crew preferred another airport, so it took about thirty or so minutes to go to an airport next to the Mexican border. When we got there, I thought the plane looked big; Jess thought it looked small. I guess I wasn't the one on the gurney. We found out that Don Johnson used to own the plane, but now with the redo the inside looked like an ambulance with wings. The flight nurse told us that without the med stuff it takes up to eight passengers. The flight was really smooth, but boy you could really feel the wind sometimes, especially as it took off and later descended. It felt a bit like when I am driving in high winds. The second ambulance was right there when we landed and brought us quickly to the hospital. The only glitch came when we got to the hospital. Jessa's name didn't come up when we tried to admit her, and they said they weren't expecting us. For once my brain didn't freeze up and I remembered the name of the admitting doctor, Dr. Bagwell. They looked up her name again on a different computer-- they found it this time and after a bit of a wait while they cleaned her room admitted her with no further problems.

Unlike Katelyn, the Yikes hadn't seen me for almost three weeks. I got to see them while Jess was being admitted. They both ran up to me and I took turns picking them up and giving them huge hugs over and over again. Kids don't get tired of that kind of thing, but my back did. Katelyn is taller than Jess now and thankfully settled for a hug with her on the ground. It's been over three weeks since the Yikes have seen Jess. When they walked into her room they briefly hesitated when they saw that she was lying down in a hospital bed. Then they raced to her. Bryn got there first and flung herself into a hug. She kept holding on and didn't let go. Then Jadyn started nudging her, "Hey, it's my turn!" They both ended up getting plenty of snuggle up time with mommy.

Unlike this morning when we were waiting for the ambulance this time the minutes flew by until it was the kids' bedtime. I didn't like leaving and neither did the kids but there was a bonus when I got home-- putting the kids to bed; I really missed that. Good night and thank you for your prayers for a safe, comfortable flight for Jess.

Phillipians 2:3-8

I got to go to church this morning that is just getting started here. It's pretty neat because the family that is starting it also helped start the church that Jessa's sister, Jennifer is going to in Grandbury. The lesson this morning was on putting others first instead of focusing on your own selfish desires. This lesson is lived out in you dear reader. As you take time out of your day to focus on us instead of yourself, you become a bit like Jesus who is the ultimate example of putting others first. If you want to read the passage, here's the link: http://bibleresources.bible.com/passagesearchresults.php?passage1=Phillipians+2%3A3-8&version1=31

The rest of today was spent packing up. We will have a limited amount of space on the plane so we threw out quite a bit of stuff. Jessa's dad is in from Portland and he did a lot of the work as his personality is bent towards organizing. I am super excited to get this done as it means we are one more step to getting closer to Texas. I love to think that at this time tomorrow we will be flying towards Dallas.

Jess and Jake at Scripps Hospital

Feeling Yellow

I just have one quick thing to say before I let you read Jessa's note. The first night that Jess comes home is going to be reserved for our daughters. I think she will be worn out Monday but she really wants to see them. Here's Jess:

Hi all. I had a good day with lots of visitors. It is amazing how many people I get to see even though I am so far away from home. The nurses are starting to think I am pulling their leg about the Texas bit.

Okay, about the yellow. Background first: you should know that when I spent my week in room 11 of the surgical ICU, there was a man in the room beside me that had “special precautions”. A common topic of conversation with Jake, my mom’s, and myself was to figure out his illness. Every time anyone went into his room, they suited up with purple gloves and an additional yellow disposable robe, sometimes donning masks. We knew he must have some communicable disease, etc… but we never did figure it out.

Well, you know I am now up on the 4th floor, still in my pretty room, as I have been since Monday night. Flash to tonight, and since the night shift everyone has been coming in my room wearing what else…yellow robes and gloves!!! Each time someone comes in, they are all suited up. I asked a nurse, who was not mine, what the deal was, and she said that she would tell my nurse to come talk to me all about it. All about what?? Why am I yellow?? When my dad and Jake came back from a break, I told them, “I think I am yellow!” Jake went outside my room to look and said I had a precaution sign by my door just like my ICU neighbor. My dad went out and said it looked more like a precaution sign on an inadvertently placed cart beside my door.

Either way, I decided pushing my call button for my nurse would get to the bottom of it. Before my nurse could arrive, a mentor nurse came to do her normal rounds. I asked her about my yellowness. She went on and on to explain ALL about infections and non-resistant strains of such and such. I am, at this point, slightly scared as NO ONE has told me about this. My dad asks the mentor to go check my chart and get back with us with more information. He is still about 10% sure that this is all a mistake.

I am now thinking I am yellow for a good 10 minutes, wondering what that means as far as going to a new hospital, airplane… My mind was spinning through potential scenarios at a fast pace.

BUT, in walks the mentor and my nurse without yellow to explain it WAS an inadvertently placed cart, and I am NOT yellow anymore!!

My nurse did say that the yellowness would actually protect me more, and it was not all bad. I am just glad to know that I am my own color again.

It does, also make me want to get home. Even more so to my own home, which is a lovely brown.

Love to you all,
Jess

Counting Down the Days

You can look forward to a post from Jess tomorrow. She has had a big day and now is eating dinner while I post (I'll grab something later).

Jess has PT in the morning. Her balance has improved, but she was limited in the amount of time she could sit up because her back was hurting where her drain was. I say was after PT Dr. Yoo came in and took out her drain. Her back looks good but you can pray for no spinal fluid to leak out of her spine. Then with the OT (occupational therapist) she was able to sit up for a long time-- a record twenty-five minutes. Today was also the first day I noticed a big improvement in her leg movement. She is now able to drag her leg from left to right on the bed with assistance. Dr. Coufal came by to say goodbye. That guy dresses as well as he performs surgery. The first day we saw him was the day of Jessa's surgery on Easter Sunday. We attributed his dressing well to perhaps coming right from church. However, every day we have seen him since he has been dressed up too. Then Dr. Abidoye came in to talk with Jess for about half an hour. He has been very compassionate and he is always thinking of what Jess can be doing here but also in Texas when we get back. He mentioned a few chemo medicines that Jess had not heard of and she has not tried yet. At the very least we will ask about those medicines when we get back. I have also been exercising Jessa's legs. It feels good to her to but also wears her out. My one break today was finally going to the beach. It was pretty cool because I got see some seals including a baby one and I brought Jess back a cupful of sand.

The thing I am most excited about is Jessa's trip home. You can see the aircraft Jess will be flying on at http://lgaeromed.com/ Click on "aircraft" and then "Citation 500."

Sitting in San Diego

Jess wanted me to fill you in the details of the day, but she wanted to write a note too. Jess did really good sitting today. She hasn't been able to sit more than 15 minutes at a time, but today she was able to sit with no support. We finalized some of the details of the plane trip today. Jess will leave the hospital by ambulance at 10:30 in the morning. Then she'll get on a medical jet and fly to Dallas. There they will transfer her by ambulance to St. Paul hospital. ETA is 5 PM. Jess and I can't wait to see our girls.
Here's Jess
:
Hi all,
It is amazing to sit in this hospital bed and think of all of you praying for me. If I ever have a fleeting thought of denial of my situation, I am swept up immediately by this overwhelming hope. It is beyond anything I have ever felt. It is a hope that fills my whole mind and my whole body. It is hard to put into words, but it is as if I am on a being lifted in a blanket of clouds, like a big deep breath. I have had a good day, with lots of smiles and successes. I am reminded of you always with calls, emails, cards, and flowers. Amazingly, each one mentions of so many other’s prayers, it’s like 1=100! Thank you for keeping me close to home so far away.
-Jess

From Jessica

Jess does not have Internet access in her room, so she typed up a message in Word on her laptop which I have copied and pasted here.

Hi guys!
It has been a surreal experience in the hospital. The days just blur by. Per the “plan”, I will be coming home Monday which will be three weeks here. I remember well the moments before this all started. My aunt Sandy and I were in the most beautiful hotel room I have ever been in, with the perfect view of the beach and I got up to get ready to leave. Sandy was SO calm when I fell. I was thinking, what are we going to do! She was, I am sure, retracing five potential scenarios in her head! Good thing Sandy journals so I can recall all the funny parts later.

I think that by the time you have been in the hospital for two weeks, they let you upgrade to the best room in the place because I am in the penthouse of the hospital. I have one of the “new” beds, a huge room with a couch and dining table with big chairs. I have pretty wallpaper and crown molding. I even have a nightstand with a lamp. There is a shower and bathroom in here to, making it easy for Jake and others. But, the BEST thing is the view. I realized I had not seen out a window in two weeks, and that does a lot to a person. In my other rooms, they had windows, but they were behind me, and small. Now, I am facing a wall of windows that overlooks beautiful La Jolla, CA. I see rolling hills and blue skies. It is a huge blessing to be in this room.

It was wonderful to see Katelyn this past weekend. Nothing makes me smile quite like the girls. She was beaming all weekend too. She brought family pictures, which are a treasure to be able to see right now.

Having Jake here is invaluable too. He is cutting down my hospital expenses by helping the nurses whenever he can! He also gets plenty of me telling him to do things I can’t do, “Honey, can you scoot my left leg down?” “Can you throw away this paper? “Can you put away your shoes!!”

It has also been so great being able to see my mom, dad, and step-dad here in California. Having them here is almost like being at home. There is nothing like seeing your mom when you are sick that just makes things seem like they will be okay. And, Jake has some family right here. He stays a lot with his Grandpa and Oma who visit daily, and his aunt Sherry and Uncle Ron who live outside of LA have been here for every surgery. I also got a special visit from my cousin Krista!

I have LOVED each of your emails and beautiful flowers and fruit and cookie bouquets and cards. The food here is, well, hospital-esque, so the extras are yummy.

All of these things have kept me feeling not so far away.

Can I also say that knowing that the girls are so well taken care of at home is a huge relief. I remember that the first days I was here, I was trying to tell my aunt Sandy all the girls had to do the next few days. First, it was exhausting and second, it made me know I needed to be home. I then realized that God could control all these details and that the girl’s lives would be different, but okay with any plan. Whew! They have been and I am a lot less stressed! Thank you, Thank you for loving them.

Okay, I know there is more to say, but just know I love you all so much and that everyone in this hospital thinks that I am some greatly famous person back home with all the love poured out on me here. And, even far away, there are plenty of times I have said, “Thank you God for this moment!”

I am often brought to tears and filled with so much emotion when I hear of the rally to support to make coming home possible, as well as getting family to me, and support when for my family when I get home. It is truly a great, overwhelming gift of which I have no better words to say but thank you.

Even far from all of you, I see a definite reason for my being at this place, at this time. Now, I just ask God to give us the next step toward getting home.

One God moment…Saturday night before Easter, I was lying in bed asking God to move my toe. I couldn’t and was getting increasingly worried. Sunday, doctors and nurses and scans revealed that more was wrong with me than my broken hip, and I still could not move any part of my legs. Dr, Coufal, the neurosurgeon, was examining me, asking me to close my eyes and respond to his touch. When he asked me to move my toes, my eyes were closed and I could not feel it or see it, but I moved one toe on my right foot! Everyone in the room saw. It was then that Dr. Coufal said that I had a partial spinal cord injury. Partial, because I could move my toe. But, God moved my toe!! Since the surgery, you know that I now have more movement. I can move my left toes fine, but my right is actually still not as good. It just needed to move that once for me… at that moment. Thank you God, and thank all of you for interceding in prayer on our behalf!

Love to you all,
Jess

Quick Post

Jess would like me to thank whoever was praying for a nice room. She got moved into a spacious, private corner room with a great view. It really brought up her spirits today. She would also like me to say that she has really enjoyed your emails and even though she can't write back to keep writing to her. Here's that link again:http://www.scrippshealth.org/emailpatient.asp I thank you for your prayers and keep it up!

Starting the Week off Right on Monday

You may remember there were several things I wanted you to pray for as we were prepare to come back to Dallas. The first thing was the doctors to be in total agreement about Jess being able to travel safely home. I am happy to announce that Jessa's team of doctors here and in Dallas agree that she is good to go. She is coming back Monday! That's not 100% of course but things have nicely lined up and things will come together by the end of the week for that to happen. I was planning on playing tag team with Jessa's grandma with me leaving on Sunday and her coming on Monday, so I'm very glad I can stay an extra day and fly with her home.

Jess got some modification to her brace yesterday and she was able to try it out this morning as she sat up. It feels good-- or as good as comfortable as something like that can feel. I have been calling it her Breastplate of Righteousness because it looks a bit like a Roman Breastplate. Jess got to come out of ICU at 3 this morning. I was a bit sad as her nurses there have been so good, but she has a fabulous nurse right now who is making Jess feel like her only patient. I also got to see Jessa's surgery site today-- it looks so much better than I imagined it. It's about eight inches long with about forty staples and looks like it is healing really well. Pray for there to be less drainage from the site though.

I have enjoyed my late dinners and nights at my grandparents (my Oma and Opa) but I have one complaint-- their poodle, Lincoln, is too good of a dog. Now all Katelyn has been talking about is getting a poodle. I can just picture Katelyn attaching wings onto a couple of pigs just in case. She is doing the hurdles and pole vault at the city track meet tonight-- I think she has a good chance of getting over in the pole vault and winning city. A big thank you to those of you who will be there cheering her on. Bryn also has "Kindergarden Roundup" tonight. Jess is going to really miss not being there for Bryn and Katelyn so pray for her spirits tonight.

PT Cruising

They brought Jess her brace last night after I posted last night. It's really just pieces of hard molded plastic with straps. It was really hard to put on laying down-- it will be a lot easier when she is cleared to put it on while sitting up. The PT (physical therapist) did a great job (as did Jess!) and she was able to sit up for the first time since surgery. She'll be doing PT once a day for now, but she's cruising along. We are hoping Jess will be able to move up to a room on the oncology floor today or tomorrow, but right now she is great care in ICU.

I read a post asking about how to give money. The way our community has come together has been unbelievable as well as very humbling for Jess and I as we are both joyful givers and not as good at receiving. I believe an awesome account called the Jessica Kaylor fund has been set up. I don't know much about it as some wonderful person set one set up for us while we were gone. So if you know more about it please post a comment.

Headache Problem Solved

I noticed that Wendy Casas posted that Jessa's headache might be as a result of spinal fluid loss and she nailed it: that is exactly what the doctors found (even before I checked the blog). They have kept the drain at the surgery site but have stopped the pump-- no more spinal fluid being pumped out and presto-- a happier Jess!

One thing I have learned on this San Diego segment of Our Journey with Jessica is to take one day at a time. There are several exciting possibilities in the works but they are not realities yet. I just got a phone call that the goal of raising money for a med flight home has been met. You can help by praying for total doctor support of this; a safe, uneventful trip home; and for Jess to choose the right medical facility in Dallas to go to for rehab/radiation/other medical treatment. Also in the works is for more visitors coming here to San Diego, including our three precious daughters.

God has asked a lot of us, but we are asking a lot of Him-- don't we have a big God?

One final thing: I need a computer techie person to tell me how I can download a video of Zander Curtis's baptism this Sunday so we can watch it here. I know LABC videotapes the services, so this isn't too far of a stretch. Just post a comment if you know how. Jess and I would love to see our nephew take the plunge!

Another headache :(

Jess had another headache last night-- and was sick to her stomach again. Then she had another one this afternoon. One of her oncologists here (Dr. Abidoye) sent her for a CT scan right away on her brain. The preliminary results show nothing suspicious, but I'm very impressed at how quickly he acted. We'll know the official results tomorrow. Jess is sleeping right now. It was a sad day for her as Katelyn, her mom, and her stepdad all left this afternoon. As for me I miss them already and I miss Jadyn and Bryn horribly. I have parked in the parking garage so many times now that I can't remember which level I parked on. While Katelyn was here we made up rhymes tell help us remember the correct level. For example, "Level one is so much fun. I like to run and eat a honey bun." I already miss being silly with her. She has a heart of gold too-- as we were leaving hospital parking she offered to pay the $2 (Jessa's stepdad paid for it instead). I love hearing the reports of prayer for us-- keep it up!

A Rollercoaster of a Day

Jess was in a great mood this morning-- as if having extensive surgery the night before was no big deal. Later, she got measured for a custom orthotic that will brace her back. It's very likely that she will have to wear the brace the rest of her life, but on the plus side it will help prevent other vetebrate from collapsing. A little bit after two Jess starting got a bad headache. They were able to get the pain under control, but in the meantime Jess got sick to her stomach. There was a long stretch of time this afternoon and tonight that we let Jess rest. So, while she rested, we went out to eat with Jessa's cousin(Krista), Katelyn, my mother/father in-love, my Aunt Terry and my Uncle Ron. I love my family. Then we came back and waited around a bit-- the nurse finally let us in about 8:30 and we stayed until after 10. Jess was feeling much, much better, so we ended with a high point in a rollercoaster of a day. By the way the blog posts the time in Central Time, so it's late but not as late as it posts. Thank you for your prayers and good night.

Mission Accomplished!

Dr. Coufal just came out to see us. The surgery went smoothly. Jess is going to back in her room in about twenty minutes, and I can't wait to see her. Thank you for praying, but now I have another assignment for you, pray for her recovery!

Surgery Duration

Jess went into surgery at 5:30-- she had to wait for the operating room to be available. I forgot to post on the last blog that the surgery will be about four hours. Scripps is one of the few places in the country that monitor neurological pathways when doing middle of the back surgery. I found that out today and thought that was pretty cool. Jessa's surgery will be in the T6-T10 vertebrate.

It was real boost for Jess to see Katelyn today and to read your emails. Your emails don't have to be funny but I think she really likes those ones. It's great to see her smile. I'm going to grab a quick bite to eat and then head back to the hospital. Keep praying!

Surgery Time

Jessa will be having surgery at 4 PM. Remember we are in Pacific Time, so if you live in a different time zone than California it will be later where you are. Pray for Dr. Coufal and his medical team here at Scripps.


A tired Katelyn got in last night. Her plane was making weird noises so they got everyone off before take-off and switched planes-- making her get in at 11:30 PM instead of 9:20.

Thanks for praying!

Precious Little Sleep for the Princess

Katelyn is coming in tonight, so I am at my mother-in-love's hotel where they have Internet access to update you this afternoon. Jess had a hard time sleeping last night. She felt jittery after taking her oral medicines last night, but the worse thing happened later. Her night nurse took out her IV (so she could put in a new one) but forgot to take off her blood pressure cuff. The cuff automatically takes her blood pressure every 15 minute and started squeezing her arm. Blood started squirting and it took awhile for it to stop. Needless to say Jess is very tired and the day nurse she has now has been extra careful with her today. On the plus side a nurse that knows massage came in and helped Jess to feel both comfortable and relaxed. Another plus is that Jess has really enjoyed messages sent via Scripps. The neurosurgeon talked to Jessa's nurse and said that the surgery will be Friday or Saturday. When I hear a definite time I will post it.

Feeling More Comfortable

Jess had a much better day today. She was much more comfortable (thank you prayer warriors!)-- just tired. Her neurosurgeon talked to us tonight-- he is shooting for Friday for the surgery where he will put in screws and rods to stabilize her spine. He said it would take less than two weeks for her to heal from the surgery and then she will be able to fly back, hopefully on some kind of medical flight. Emotionally this provided a big boost to Jess today-- she has been dreading sitting up for the three hour flight-- and the spinal surgery has just compounded that dread. Also providing a big boost is Katelyn coming in tomorrow night for the weekend. Jess really, really misses our daughters. Jadyn and Bryn are too young to visit Jess in ICU (the age limit is ten) so they will be enjoying a weekend of camping with friends. Jess got to talk to the Yikes (Younger Kaylor Kids) tonight which was both relieving and awesome for Jess tonight. No cell phones are allowed in ICU, but her nurse set up a phone where she could talk to them. If you would like to send a message to Jessica, you can still do so even though she has no Internet accesss. You can send a message through Scripps which will print out your message and deliver it to Jess. The web address that you will need to go to is http://www.scrippshealth.org/emailpatient.asp
The big prayer request is to pray for Jessa's upcoming surgery. Jess has such an awesome surgeon it's easy to forget that he is operating on her spine-- so pray for steady hands and success in stabilizing her spine!

Pray for Jess to be Comfortable

Jess was pretty uncomfortable today-- she couldn't get comfortable in her bed and just plain felt lousy. Please pray that she would feel better tomorrow I know that would lift her spirits. There were several things to be thankful for today. There were two new developments: 1st Jess started feeling good tingles down her legs ( I say good because before she lost the use of her legs she was feeling bad tingles that felt like her legs were going to sleep) and 2nd she was able to tell which direction the doctor was moving her toes. The oncologist came into tonight and was able to help Jess understand what was going to happen next (thank you Wendy for praying for this specifically). She was feeling aprehensive about not having a plan and he helped her feel much calmer. Here's the plan: stabilize her backbone with rods and screws. In about two weeks radiate the three problem areas in her vertebrate-- one in her neck, one in her mid-back (we found out from him that she actually has fractures in that area on vertebrae that were not taken out), and one in her lower back. They will also radiate her hip which (and I'm sorry I don't know which parts were broken) is broken in several places. In the meantime they are going to be treating her cancer systemically with hormone therapy. Hormone therapy is generally not very aggressive and usually takes awhile to have an effect, but her oncologist (actually she also has another oncologist here who is a female) wants to be treating her while Jess is healing from surgery. He said he would tell us more details about the hormone therapy tomorrow. Thank you for your prayers!!!!!!!!!

Get Her Some Boots 'Cause Her Feet Our Dancing

Just her moving her toes on just one foot would have been enough today to make it perfect. However, it became an amazing day when Jess was able to move both her feet today from side to side. Our family that is here have already given thanks that Jess did not get on the plane earlier. What if during her transfer she had permanent damage? We are also very grateful that she was able to have such a wonderful surgeon in San Diego. We now know that Jess fell because of pressure on her spinal cord which caused her legs to not work right.

I wasn't very clear when I talked to my dad about further treatment. There is no plan to treat her hip until after her spine is taken care of. Now that she has movement she will have metal inserts put in to stabilize her back. Then the doctors here will see what they can do to treat her hip and her cancer in general before we return home.

I am very grateful for my principal at my school, the parents of the kids on the soccer team I coach, for family taking care of my three darling girls, but I am especially grateful to YOU for praying. This has been a very difficult week and prayer has made all difference.

I have about a zillion other things to say but my brain has refused to keep working, so good night.

Jess Moves her Left Toes!

Thank God and thank you for your prayers!

Jess just moved the toes on her left side so God has allowed the surgery to enable her to regain some nerve functionality. When she first woke up from surgery she was not able to move anything below her waist. Her doctor said they will know soon whether she will regain feeling on her right side. It will take some time for her to regain the feeling in her legs. If Jess successfully regains feeling to a certain level then she will undergo surgery again to install metal support in her spine. The two verterbrea that had collapsed were removed during the surgery last night.

The doctor confirmed that it will be at least 10 days before Jess will be able to travel home. He also said that Jess's hip issue will not be treated in San Diego. That problem has been assigned a lower priority and is planned to be treated back in Texas through either surgery/radiation or just radiation.

Please pray for movement on Jess's right side.

In Christ,
Jim Kaylor

Jess's Surgery Went Great!

Hello Faithful Prayers.

Great news about the surgery from Jake! Dr Coufal told Jake the surgery went very well. All of the spinal tumors were removed and Dr Coufal was able to decompress Jess's spine.

The tumors were wrapped around the spinal cord and had broken through at least one vertabrea. Hence, we will have to wait and see how much if any permanent nerve damage exists. There is no time frame for that assessment just yet. Jess is still sadated and will be kept in ICU tonight. She will need to remain in the hospital in San Diego for at least 10 days to recover.

Another surgery will be required to add support to Jess's spine. Exactly what and when that will take place is also not known tonight.

Thank you all for your prayers and thank you God for your mercy. Please continue to pray for minimal nerve damage, strength, encouragement and recovery for Jess.

In Christ,
Jim Kaylor

Please Pray Now For Jess's Surgery

Hello Everyone.
This is Jim Kaylor (Jake's Dad)relaying a message and request for immediate prayer for Jess and Jake. Today Jess lost feeling in her legs. A MRI was done to help determine the problem. It was discovered that her cancer had spread to her spine and that two of her vertibrae had collasped. She was told that unless she agreed to have emergency surgery (Jess is still in San Diego) that she would be permanently paralyzed from the waist down.

Please pray for Jess and her surgeon (Dr Coufal)that the surgery is a success. The surgery is to remove the tumors on her spine and then decompress her spine. If possible they would also like to put in support for her spine. They suspect that procedure will not be possible until a future surgery.

Thank you in advance for your ferverent prayers.
In Christ,
Jim

Breaking News

First, let me thank you for praying for us whole-heartedly. Tonight I ran into two families that were already knew our situation and were already praying for us. They represent the many people who are praying.

The latest plan is for Jess to come home Saturday to have surgery in Dallas. Pray for me to make my flight early tomorrow morning, for the kids to feel secure and peaceful, and above all for as little pain as possible for Jess as Jshe makes the plane trip. Aunt Sandy will also like me to add for you to pray for a private jet for Jess!

No news yet

There is not a consensus yet among Jessa's doctors whether to fly or back home or treat her there. I tried to fly to San Diego today, but if you'll look at a weather map you'll see why I didn't. There's a big red spot over the two big airports here. Flash flooding caused one of the airports to cancel over 700 flights today.

Broken Hip

Jess spent the weekend in California with her dear Aunt Sandy. She was supposed to come back today, but fell and broke her hip. Dr. Haley had recommended that she get a pin put in in to prevent such a thing but frustratingly Jessa's orthopedic surgeon told her on Thursday that she didn't need a pin right now. The plan right now is to have scans to determine whether or not she can fly back and what treatment she'll have. I plan on keeping you updated. In other news, Jess saw a doctor in a research hospital (Mary Crowley at Baylor). He felt like she was a great canidate to try a new medicine next month. Medicines go through three phases of testing before they are approved by the FDA medicine. This medicine is a phase one drug, in fact she would be third person ever to try it. Over the last year and a half no traditional chemo medicine has been effective in slowing or preventing the cancer from growing, so we are hoping and praying that this will be one will work. If it works it will actually repair the damaged DNA in the cancer cells.

Scan results

I spent almost two hours in my oncologists office, which I don't even think I did at diagnosis. We went over all the details of the last scan and compared them to the previous scans pictures. I never felt like I was rushed or that she did not have time for my questions.  I was in the room alone with Doctor Haley for close to an hour before we called in my family.  I must have asked three times if she wanted me to get them, and she just kept saying that she would go over all of it with them again, she just wanted to go over it with me first.  I felt this great connection between patient and physician... that she wanted me to understand what she was feeling.

All to say that the scans are particularly worse. I was actually quite surprised. I am having some increased pain, which usually clues me in, but I was just quite optimistic that I would be able to stay on the not so toxic Ixempra. I was REALLY praying that was the drug for me.  I am thankful that God knows the plan way before me.  I am also thankful for the past three months of relative side effect and pain free days.  

The new "plan" is to see an orthopedic surgeon right away as the progression to my hip makes them think the risk that I could fall/break this bone is significantly greater as the bone is eaten away in several places. She thinks a solution might be a pin put in my hip to make it more secure.  Again, having something to do is hopeful.  I have actually wanted to see an orthopedic doctor for a while as my mets are only in bone.  I thought this type of specialist might have a unique perspective.  Please pray I connect with the right doctor.  I will first get a referral for a doctor at my same hospital.  But if they cannot get me in soon, I will go outside UT Southwestern to get going as soon as possible.

Step two is to transfer to another hospital, a research hospital in the area, Mary Crowley Medical Research Center. It is a center devoted to clinical trials.

My oncologist thinks there is still treatments she can do, with various chemo treatments, but she also feels like we are in a crossroads, where a new avenue could really bring better results. She said at the Crowley center, I can get, hopefully some targeted therapy that would not be available through her for a while. I just need a good treatment now, as I have had 3 poor scans in a row.  

Pain now is manageable.  Dr. Haley wants me to use my cane for extra support even if I feel like I can walk without it (in that case I am trading to a nice hot pink number!).  I am also having good success taking Alieve.  I have the ability to double my pain patch, which is a good back up.  Fortunately, I have not needed it the last few days as the other has worked fine.  

I am pretty weary emotionally right now. But, I know my faith is not worth much if I am not trusting in Him in the bad news as well as the good. I am trusting in Him, who knew about these stupid results long before I did.  I am coveting your prayers right about now!

I remember I owe you pictures.  I have had a busy day and I knew this was important to get out to you.

Take care,
Jess

Better

Thank you all for your prayers.  I am feeling better today.  It has not been a steady climb to better, but more a roller coaster. I can definitely tie it to a lot of activity and on my feet.  However, today I was able to connect with my oncologist and get some advise for pain management.  She said I could both take Alieve for the muscle pain and double my pain patch if needed.  She told me my pain did not sound metastatic in nature, which thrilled me.  I will get complete results from my PET/CT scan on Friday afternoon.  I will then hopefully get round 5 of Ixempra.  Saturday afternoon, I was able to go to the beach...yea!  I LOVED my beach-time, and it was one of the highlights of my trip.  I will try to post pictures and recap the Florida conference tomorrow, as I am pretty tired tonight.  I just wanted to give you a quick update as I have left you hanging (and praying) since Saturday.  A friend said to me that I never complain about much pain, so I must be feeling horrible!  I am not horrible, just experiencing more pain than usual.  And on some of those roller coaster days like Saturday and again Sunday night back home, I did feel pretty horrible (okay, I admit it already!!) Today was a better day and as per my mantra, I am thanking God for this moment.  Thankfully, even on hard days, I was able to thank God for you and your prayers and comments to me over the last few days; they were such an encouragement.  

Love,

Jess

Prayer today please

A super quick post today.  I am in Florida for the conference for young survivors.  I had a blast yesterday with a great first session and a fun dinner with new friends.  However, today, I feel the worst physically that I have felt in a long time.  I do a lot of walking here, so maybe I am just sore. I ache all over.  I have my cane, and pain patches, and I want to go to everything offered here this weekend.  This afternoon at the lunch break, I am supposed to go to the beach with a few women.I absolutely LOVE the beach, even when the water's cold, I just want to sit on the sand for a few minutes and take in the ocean air.  Please pray that my physical strength will hold up.  You are the biggest network of people I know, so I hope you are reading today or tomorrow!! 

Thanks so much:)

Jess

Happy Valentines Day

Katelyn went to a school Valentine dance at her junior high.  I love when she curls her hair (these days, she wakes up early to make it straight as a board).  I also love low key dances, without dates, and wearing casual clothes--jeans.  She had a fun time and spent the night with a few friends.  I heard they stayed up until 4 AM!  


Jake took Jadyn and Bryn to his school Valentine dance this past weekend.  They went out to dinner,just the three of them, before the dance.  The girls felt beautiful in their red dresses.  Jake said their favorite part of the dance was eating many cookies, and getting their pictures taken! 

One of the other teachers brought her son, Cody, to the dance.  Cody and Jadyn happen to be in the same kindergarten class too!  They are great friends and look so cute pictured here!

Below is Jadyn and Bryn in their Valentine outfits heading off to school.  I am thankful I can still dress them in matching outfits. I wonder how long that will last.



Bryn's Valentine party at her preschool!



She loves me to be there. I have to tell her to go play at her party, because she spends a lot of the time coming back to me to give me hugs and kisses. In two weeks, she will have another program at her school, this time with a Patriotic theme. I have her sing the songs for practice, and the only one she can remember is America the Beautiful. She is so sweet when she sings it. Then, I ask her to sing another song in the show. She never remembers any more! So, I say, you better remember more songs for the show. She said, "Mom, as soon as Mrs. Hanson starts singing, I remember the song, just like that!" and then she snaps her fingers. I thought, that happens to me too. Good thing we have "Mrs. Hanson's" in our life to help us remember important things. I, for the last TWO years, have been involved in a program called, MOPS (Mothers of Preschoolers). They have never changed start times, not once. And, yet, each month, I struggle to remember if it starts at 9:00 or 9:30. Almost always, this involves calling a friend for confirmation. As I write this, I am still not 100% certain of the correct time.  

I had a treatment a week ago Friday.  I happen to get sick around the same time.  Just a cough/sinus infection I guess.  My counts were fine to have chemo, but my doc gave me a z-pack just in case.  I am glad I had it, because I felt horrible over the weekend/early week.  I am glad I feel better, as it is no fun feeling wiped out exhausted when you just wake up!  Otherwise, chemo went fine.  I have a PET scan Monday the 25th to see if it is working!! I pray, pray, pray that it is.

We have a short week with Presidents Day tomorrow and then Friday I am off to Florida for two days by myself!! I guess by myself is used incorrectly, as I will be with thousands of other women at the 8th annual Young Survivors Conference for women diagnosed with cancer under 40.  I received a scholarship to be able to go that will cover everything but my food!  See www.youngsurvival.org for details about this great organization.  I have spent several hours of my life on the bulletin boards of this site.  It has been so helpful to just read about other young woman and the unique struggles we have dealing with the daily roller coaster that continues, cancer or not!   There is a special section on the boards for young, metastatic cancer survivors.  Even more of a connection with these ladies...

Love to you all,

Jess