Tuesday, November 4, 2008

More Cards than Junk Mail

Today was the third day in a row that the kids and I have gotten more cards than junk mail, and we get a lot of junk mail. I very much appreciate the kindness that continues to rain down on our family.

A lot of people have been asking how we're doing. Sometimes people are just making conversation and if so the answer is we're doing OK. The real answer is that we are each hurting. Bryn is sad. She tells me that she misses mommy and wants to do the things with her that she used to do. She wants Jess to do her hair. She wants to tell her that she got to be the line leader or the caboose at school. She wants to give her pictures that she's drawn. Jadyn is mad. She gives up on games if she's not winning. She slams doors. She says she won't do things like cleaning her room. Katelyn and I are in a similar state. One minute we're seemingly doing well and the next we're walking around in a daze. Like me she has been forgetful. Today she told me that a friend of hers came by while I coached Jadyn at soccer practice, but I was here. I signed our family up for the Warm Place which provides grief support for families. Apparently it takes kids two months before they are able to process things, so we have an introductory meeting in late January.

Originally Jess and I had planned to leave for our Honeymoon right after the wedding. However, we had to take care of my Eclipse first by having it towed to a repair shop. Then we drove the new, but now battered Mirage to San Antonio. If you're wondering why we drove Mitsubishi cars its because I was a nanny that year for a guy that was a manager at a Mitsubishi dealership. Anyway, that year ice storms hit and while it slowed us down many of our family that drove had trouble getting back home.


Lisa said...

One moment at a time, one baby step at a time... Dear God, Please lift up the Kaylors tonight. Hug them close to Your heart and kiss their tears. Be with them each step of this new journey that they have had to begin. May Your love, compassion and grace be sufficient for them. Heal their broken hearts and bind up their wounds that they may know Your unfailing love for each of them. Jake, you are special to Jesus. Your precious daughters are special to Jesus. May He hold you all in the palm of His hand and renew your spirits.

In Jesus' Holy Name we claim these promises, Amen

The Sepulveda Family

Anonymous said...

I'm praying for you and your girls every day!

Anonymous said...

Thank you so much for keeping everyone updated as to how you're doing durring this time. You and your girls remain in our prayers.
The Hicks Family

navyjustincase said...

Jake, I found this article for you. I hope you will find it encouraging. http://www.familylife.com/site/apps/nlnet/content.aspx?c=dnJHKLNnFoG&b=3599685&content_id={B69A0672-FF67-4A9B-BC2F-7269B7AD269F}¬oc=1

There is no right or wrong way for you and the girls to get through this. I am praying everyday for strength, comfort, healing, & peace for you and the the girls.

Love, Carrie Farrell

Alpha 1 Vann Clan said...

Thank you for honestly letting us know how you are doing. We are praying for you all. A friend of mine mentioned The Warm Place to me (to recommend to you) and said it was an excellent program.

Lynne said...

Jake -- your reflections are very insightful. You are very wise to sign your family up for Warm Place. God indeed is holding you in the palm of his hand. Hugs to all.
We hold you all in our thoughts and prayers,
Lynne and Dave

Anonymous said...

Jake , I am praying for you, the girls, Judy and everyone else that has a broken heart. Jesus is holding you in His Hands. His peace be with you. In Christ, Jeanette

Mandy said...

Coy and I are here in Alabama. I heard the news and I just cried. I know there are no words to say but please know that we wish we could just give you a hug. We are praying for you and your girls. We just pray that the loving wings of the Eagle surround you and comfort you. We love you guys and our hearts mourn with you.

Anonymous said...


I was so sorry to hear of your family's great loss of Jessica. I knew of her from BSF, and when I read your comment about one of the girls wanting Jessica to do her hair I was reminded that one of those random things I that I noticed when I saw Jessica at BSF with the girls was that their hair was always fixed adorably.

Our family has been praying for you all and grieving for you. I continue to hear people in the community talking about your great faith and how well you're "handling" this. I know what they mean in that you don't grieve as those who have no hope. However, friends of ours who recently "lost" a young son were told the same thing--how well they were handling everything and what a great testimony their lives were. When those times of intense grief (and doubt, anger, questioning) hit they felt like maybe their "testimony" was a bit tarnished, and in some cases people weren't sure how to respond to the very human emotions they displayed. I've been thinking of this recently and was reminded of how even Jesus wept when a close friend of His died. Apparently Max Lucado had the same thought. :) Just this morning I read this these words he wrote:
Mourning is not disbelieving. Flooded eyes don't represent a faithless heart. A person can enter a cemetery Jesus-certain of life after death and still have a Twin Tower crater in the heart. Christ did. He wept, and he knew he was ten minutes from seeing a living Lazarus! And his tears give you permission to shed your own. . . So grieve, but don't grieve like those who don't know the rest of this story. John 11:25

With continued prayers,
Elaine for the Parsley Family

Anonymous said...

We will be praying for comfort and the peace that passes understanding for you and the girls. We pray that God will show you good things to focus on each day and that His love for you all will be evident to each of you in individual ways.

Praying for you,
The Casas Family

Anonymous said...

Jake, I too, am happy that you signed the family up for the Warm Place. Jake, remember that everyone heals differently-different ways, different speeds. You and the girls have been through a lot the past few years. It does take a toll on you emotionally, and physically. That is why I am happy about the family going to the Warm Place. I am continuing to pray for rest, comfort, and peace for the family. Jake take care of yourself. It's okay to take time and "sit by the lake". Peace In Christ, pam gillum