Goofy girls 

Matching girls 

Ho Ho Ho! Merry Chiristmas!

Merry Christmas! Jake and I got to spend the last two nights in complete comfort on our new matress. The matress is so thick that our old headboead is barely visible! I love it. And, the last two evenings, I have woken up at a normal time (not 12, 2, 4 AM...) The yikes, who come onto our bed often throughout the day had to be lifted up as it was too tall for them. I might even need a stepstool! We are so grateful for this Christmas blessing.

We had my Mom's entire family home for the holidays at my grandmother's house. My mom is one of 7, so there were over 30 of us. It was a great time of eating, visiting...did I mention eating! I love having my whole family together. When everyone comes home, it is like they never left. It was also a beautiful day (about 70') so they were outside most of Christmas day.

Physically, I am feeling fine. I had my second infusion of Zometa last Thursday and it was even easier on me this time around. I get a little more tired, but I am getting used to that and knowing what to do to help prevent it...umm, that was a no brainer...rest more. I have another treatment and a doctor's appoinment on the 5th of January. Jadyn will have her surgery right down the block from my hospital on the 3rd. We are looking for a van this week so it will be possible to transport our family in the coming weeks with Jadyn taking up a whole row to herself. Send your thoughts and prayers our way and shopping for a used car is so stressful for a perfectionist like me.

Jess Ran Off to Mexico

Actually the title is quite true. Jess did indeed run off to Mexico. This year she headed up an Angle Tree drive at our church for an orphanage in Matamaros, Mexico. I am very glad she is able to make the trip-- the great thing about being on the oral chemo now is that she was able to go because she can take her pills with her. The director of the orphange's wife is battling breast cancer as well, so I am hoping Jess can find a kindred spirit. My guess is they will both encourage each other with the faith they walk with. She comes home tomorrow night. Her mattress arrives Saturday. Mattress Giant was just going to have us pay the delivery fee, but now they've decided to take of care of that as well. It's a $1500 pillow top mattress with both latex and memory foam. Most importantly when Katelyn and I tried it out it passed the get out of bed test. What I mean by that is one of us hopped out of bed and the other one didn't move. I think we spent less than $200 on our old one and the only get out of bed test it ever passed is that neither Jess nor I have ever fallen off the bed while the other one was getting up. I don't know what the beds have been like in Mexico, but I'll be glad when she can sleep peacefully through the night in her new bed.

Blessed

I think the week really started for Jess and I on Tuesday. Of course I know the week starts on Sunday, but since this week has been remarkable it must have started on Tuesday. Tuesday for Jess meant that a friend of hers (actually a friend of mine too) paid to have the house cleaned and decorated for Christmas. If you've been keeping up with us you know how little time Jess has had and she also been a little tired and worn out. Therefore, having her house cleaned and decorated was a huge blessing-- I think it stole the stress directly from her. For me Tuesday started with a stool. I have the world's rickitiest stool that puts whoever sits in it (that would be me) somewhere between near death and very real simulation of a bucking bronco. No longer though because a student bought me a brand new stool. During class I mentioned that Jadyn would be having surgery January 3rd because I wanted them to know why I wasn't there the first week they get back in January. The next morning the same student brought me a card with a Walmart gift card. Then a teacher offered to bring a meal on Thursday. It was perfect timing because today Jess had a treatment (non-chemo). Then today, the faculty at my school surprised me at our Christmas party after school. Word had gotten out that Jessa's back has been bothering her since the tumor came back in her back and that our bed (which alhough I don't think was the cheepest bed available was probably the second cheapest) despite my efforts to make it more comfortable is still like sleeping on a pile of moving rocks to my wife. Anyway, the faculty took up a collection to buy us a new mattress. Then they asked the Matress Giant on South Cooper (next to Applebee's) if they would match the contributions. The district manager just happened to be there (yeah right-- thank you again God). After hearing our story, he said that instead of matching the gifts, he would just give us a new mattress. Wow! I get to pick it out on Saturday. The first night that Jess sleeps on it I'm going to put a pea under it and even if she doesn't notice it (she probably won't with a pillowtop), I am still convince that she is my princess. Thanks you God for blessing us.

Our family at Thanksgiving...much to be thankfukl for! 

Infection update

Hi there! Jake always asks me to write, and I say, "I have nothing to say!" So, before he asks me, I am going to write to tell you of my doctor's appointment concerning my port infection. I saw the doctor this morning. He said that it was indeed an infection around the port line, but he was content to treat it with the anitbiotics I've been on for the last few days. If it does not get worse, he will leave well enough alone. If it gets worse, he will take it out. This is my second port already, so I am praying for this infection to clear up on its own.

I still have no side effects from the chemo pills I take daily. I have even stopped watching my hands for signs of peeling or tingling. I put lotion on them still about 3 times a day, but thankfully no signs yet!

I am trying to get motivated to put up something that resembles Christmas in my house. Right now, I still have a fall wreath on the door and a pumpkin on my table. I'll get something together, but it might be the week before Christmas at the rate we are headed! Can anyone relate?! Decorating requires cleaning, which also requires time! The girls are so excited about Chirstmas and Santa and baby Jesus. Bryn said the other day while eating breakfast, "I think baby Jesus is hungry too!"

Take care,

Port infection

Even though Jess is not taking her chemo intravaneously, she is taking two other medicines through her port. Consequently, she developed another infection along her port line again this week. She is already taking medicine for it and will see her surgeon soon. Last time she had an infection she had to get her port taken out and changed to a new location, so we're hoping that the antibiotics will take care of it this time. Jess's back is still bothering her some around the tumor sight. It feels better than it was feeling the Wednesday before Thanksgiving, but worse than it was feeling earlier this week. This weekend Jess and I are both doing prison ministry through Bill Glass ministries. I'm pretty excited because they give a cross made out of prison bars the fifth time you go, and its my fifth time. Jess is going for her first time, and is probably more nervous about making sure our kids are taken care of for the weekend than sharing the gospel with inmates. There are a ton of people helping us out with our kids--we are rellying on a lot of family and friends. Thank you for your continued prayers.

The Pre-Dr. E Show

Tonight Jess and I were on the Pre-Dr. E Show. Tonight, at Saturday night service at church Eric Herrstrom (the pastor for Saturday night) did a mock late night tv show. Eric is getting a doctorate in theology so he was "Pre-Dr. E." Friends of ours went first. The husband found Jesus in prison and then married his second wife when he got out. Actually she's his first wife too, but remarried him when his life turned dramatically around. She speaks the truth when she says the man she remarried is not the same man she married the first time. Then Jess and I gave a short interview on how God has blessed us and gotten us through this year. A big part of that has been people that have done so much for us. The best part of the service was people praying over us. Jess and I are so grateful for the prayer warriors that "fight" on our behalf.

Thanksgiving

Jessa took her chemo pills yesterday for the first time. As the day wore on she became more and more tired and a little bit sick. I and the twenty-some people that had gathered at Jess's grandparents house thought that the chemo pill was going to have more effect on her than we thought. However, this morning (even after another dose) she was feeling just fine. Jess was the first to point out that her feeling badly was the result of the side-effects yesterday of the new medicine she took with her infusion yesterday and not the chemo pills. Despite not feeling completely herself Jess had a great time yesterday. The happiest I ever see her is when she is with her family and yesterday was no exception. I got to say the meal-time prayer yesterday and I think I echoed our family's feeling that this doesn't alter our faith in God to heal her and we our thankful that God will take us along this part of a very bumpy road just like we He has thankfully taken us through the last part.

This morning Jess is going shopping with two of her very good friends. I think she'll be fine, but I suggested she rent one of the motorized schooters I always see advertised for older folks. Only one of us thought that was funny and it wasn't her. It's amazing to me how strong she is even when she is weak. I hope you had a wonderful Thanksgiving yesterday.

Xeloda

It took awhile for our insurance approving the oral chemo medicine, Xeloda, yesterday. Jess was at the pharmacy for about two hours, but she got the approval. Since we made the deductible and the out-of-pocket expenses for the year a few months ago-- we pay for the medicine up front, but then get reimbersed. Back when I first started getting Jessa medicines I was shocked to be paying 3 or 4 hundred dollars for a prescription. Yesterday, we paid $1800. That's how much my '98 Mirage is worth! The pills are 500 mg (they are definitely horse pills) that are taken 5 at a time in the morning and 5 at a time at night. It is a good thing that Jess has now problem swallowing big pills. There are also the added benefit of not traveling to Dallas for a multi-hour treatment as there would be if they were administered as a liquid through her port. Happy Thanksgiving!

PET Scan results

The scan results revealed bone metastasis: tumor growth on her spine and clavicle. Jessica will be taking a chemotherapy pill on a cycle of two weeks on it one week off. She will get to keep her hair, but will experience sensitivity in her hands and feet. One of the things this means is that Jess will not be able to do any scrubbing which means Jess won't have to do the dishes. Right now as I write this Jess is getting the Herceptin infusion she was supposed to get plus another non-chemo medicine. Dr. Barbara Haley was very optimistic and Jess and I are too. The road Jess and I are travelling is a bumpy one, but we remain blessed beyond measure. With Thanksgiving tomorrow we are very, very thankful. Who is more prayed over than my wife? Who is braver than she is? Who has a god bigger than our God? I am thankful also for you dear reader, pray strong for us nad count your blessings.

Results from Scan Next Wednesday

This week has been a real whirlwind for our family. It is a wonder we have not yet been blown away yet from all our family's activities. However, I wanted to let you know (even as I am rushing out the door) that Jessa meets with her doctors on Wednesday so they can tell her the results of the scan. Speaking of the scan Jess said it went fine, but the stuff she had to drink for it tasted nasty (the bannana flavoring they added didn't help).

Scan tomorrow

Jess has her first scan tomorrow since we found out she was in remission. Before we believed that Jess would be healed; now that she's better-- it's weird but-- it's just as hard to have faith that she will stay in remission. In many ways cancer is never gone for anyone that has ever dealt with cancer. Every time we hear of someone with cancer it touches our family very deeply. It is particularly painful to hear of those dealing with terminal cancer. For those it must be even harder to hold onto their faith. For me faith is trusting in God when you don't understand why your world is having an eathquake.

We went to a Jeremy Camp concert last night. His music has very much ministered to our family. Since he lost his wife to cancer many of his songs deal with issues our family has faced, and so it was very powerful for Katelyn, Jessica, and I to be singing together knowing how it has touched each of us. The one song I sung with tears in my eyes is this one, entitled I Still Believe: I still believe in your faithfulness/I still believe in your truth/I still believe in your holy word/Even when I do not see/I'll still believe.

The Yikes on Halloween

Bryn (Belle from Beauty and the Beast) and Jadyn (Minnie Mouse)

Alive!

When Jess was first diagnosed with stage four breast cancer, a ton of people knew someone who had stage four breast cancer. Sometimes they knew someone else who had a different type of cancer, but also stage four. Jessica's conversation would always be very similar-- it would go something like this: O.P (Other Person): I know someone who had stage four breast cancer. Jess: Oh really, who? O.P: My (insert relative/friend/etc. here) Jess: How are they doing now? [long, uncomfortable pause] O.P. Well actually they've passed away, but I'm sure that won't be the case for you. Jess: Ummm...

In every one of these conversations and there were again a ton of them-- they always said the person they knew was now dead (Jess would like to interject here as I am reading this posting out loud to her so she can give it the OK that perhaps there were exceptions-- although she can't recall any of them right now-- Now she doesn't like my adendum and now she doesn't like me continuing to comment on this so I'm going to stop now)

Anyway, I don't think they were intentionally bringing up a dead person to discourage Jess, but I am very glad you now have a very different response when you meet someone who is diagnosed with stage four cancer. Future conversation: You: I know someone who was diagnosed with stage four breast cancer. O.P: Oh really who ? You: Jessica Kaylor O.P: How is she doing? You: She's alive and doing great!

Kaylor update

Jess had an appointment with her surgeon last week. I think it's a little strange that she meets with him every three months because she has never and will never have surgery because of the cancer. However, in normal cases the surgeon is kind of like the quarterback of medical treatment determining who the patient sees next. In Jessica's case though Dr. Haley has made most of the medical decisions and rightly so because it has been Dr. Haley that Jess has needed treament from.

Jess is having an infusion today. I love the sound of that word. It sounds so much better than chemo. The word"infusion" just rolls off the tongue. It makes it sound like Jess is going to something wildly fun and exotic instead of get a dose of Herceptin into her port. Jess told me this morning it would take about three hours from the time she checks in to the time she checks out. A lot nicer than then the all-day procedures she used to have to go through. Three hours will give Jess plenty of time to get caught up on her bible study and get some much needed alone time.

Jadyn turned four on Saturday. She and her friends went to a salon where they got to dress-up like princesses and get their hair, nails, and face done up. She looked absolutely gorgeous. We still don't have a digital camera, but I'll be able to put a picture soon because several people are going to email some to us.

Jadyn is getting surgery on her hip to correct the hip displasia she has battled for most of her life on January 3rd. Please pray that it is succesful this time.

Last night for Halloween Jadyn and Bryn went to a festival at our church and Katelyn went with a friend to go trick-or treating. It was appropriate that Katelyn went with a friend because Katelyn was Thing 1 and her friend Chandler was Thing 2 (from Dr. Seus). Bryn was Belle from Beauty and the Beast and Jadyn was Minnnie Mouse. They all looked fantastic.

Twins 

Twins

It's been awhile since our last posting mostly because of a cookie problem. Our computer caught a virus and we had to wipe the hard drive. We put pretty much everything back on, but I didn't adjust the internet setting correctly and we weren't able to log onto the blogger for awhile. It was a simple fix, but I tried lots of complicated things first.

Jessa's hair is coming back, and it's as soft as baby hair. There wasn't much point in shaving my head before since she always wore a wig or a bandana. However, she is wearing her "buzz" cut out in public now, so I decided to buzz my hair too. Actually Jess buzzed it since I have as much small hand cordination as a horse ("yes" I know they don't have hands) so if I had done it I would have looked like I and Bruce Willis had the same hair dresser. Having the same hair cut is the closest Jess and I will ever come to looking like twins. Our digital camera had a digital breakdown, but when we get it fixed/get another one-- I'll post a picture.

Jess has her first scan to check to see if the cancer has come back, since her remission, in about two weeks. She is more excited than worried-- can't wait to hear them say "still no sign of cancer."

Breast Cancer Awareness Month

Two wonderful things were given to me this past week. As this month is Breast Cancer Awareness month, the MOPS (Mothers of Pre Schoolers) group I just joined put together a basket for me and another woman undergoing treatment. So many women brought items to be placed in this beautiful, bountiful basket! When I saw it, I was in disbelief, and so very touched. It was filled and overflowing with lotions, bubble bath, books, CD’s, candy, candles, bags, earrings, bracelets…Each item was so carefully selected, and I will treasure them all. It felt like Christmas looking through each item! The girls had fun looking through it all too.

Then, the directors of Jake and my Sunday school class, Kim and Aaron Vann and their two children, found a bracelet while out shopping and felt led to buy it for me. Brighton is a jewelry/accessory store that makes a unique bracelet each year for Breast Cancer Awareness month. They only sell them in October. It is stunning. I have had it on since they gave it to me. It is covered with fun charms, my favorite of which says “You are a miracle!” I feel like that every day.

Go buy something pink! My family teases me that I wear it 24/7!

A Courageous Kaylor

Jess did two things this last week that were very courageous. The first one seems silly, but I assure you it is not. She shaved her legs. She has not had to do this for some time because the only advantage to losing hair because of the chemo is that it also included the hair on her legs. The sitatuation was made even more hairy (pardon the pun) because her blood counts have been low. These include red blood cells, white blood cells, and platelets. The counts will of course eventually go up but for now the lack of platelets means that the little nicks caused by shaving don't stop bleeding easily. When I saw her blood-covered legs I thought, "That wasn't easy and I'm proud of her for being brave."

The second brave moment came today when Jess didn't wear her hair to Sunday school for the first time. I think it's weird how we sometimes "dress to impress" in church when we really just want people to accept us for who we are. I think our Sunday school did just that this morning-- accepted her for a beautiful woman who has fought a hard battle.

Infusion

Jess had her first non-chemo infusion today. That sounds a little weird I know, but before she would have herceptin plus three chemo drugs, but today she just had herceptin. The infusion took about an hour and a half so Jess had plenty of time to finish her bible study lesson. She is really excited about being in BSF (Bible Study Fellowship) especially because there were over sixty woman who tried to get in and they took only half of that. The Yikes have started up Mother's Day Out again, so Jess didn't even need to get a baby sitter. Today was a great day for me today too because I am coaching Jadyn's team and our first practice went great today. I was a little nervous because we watched three year-olds Sunday morning and it was absolutely nuts trying to get them to stay focuse on one thing more than a few minutes. For example Duck-Duck-Goose turned into Duck-Duck-Disaster. One child would go duck, duck, goose and then the person who had been tagged would give chase, along with all the other children. Practice, thank goodness, was nothing like that. By the way this the 100th post to the blog-- that's a lot of writing!

Happy Birthday Jessica!

Perhaps we should call today Jessica's life day because we are not celebrating her birth as much as we are celebrating the fact that she is alive. Right now Jess is in the other room balling her eyes out looking at one of her special birthday gifts. It is a scrapbook with pictures of her many family members who have written personal messages to Jess. Again it's not so much a birth celebration as much as a life one-- the title of it is "Survivor" and underneath of it is the wonderful picture of Jessa on the beach.

I feel like God special picked Jess out of the world to be my wife. We both came to faith in Christ as adults and met each other two years later. It is true that Christ has redeemed me but he has used Jess to do it. She has inspired me to be the man I should be and taught what it means to really love someone. She has loved me when I have been unlovable and she has grown into a woman I am very proud of. I am amazed at how many people know what I know: that she is an incredible woman. Happy 30th Jess!

Sick Trio

Jess, Katelyn, and Bryn are all sick right now. It started with a sore throat and has progressed into stomach ache/nasal congestion. When Jess told Jadyn she was sick, Jadyn told her "No, you're not mommy. You're all better."

The Last Week

I got my bike fixed last week and intend to ride my bike Friday again. I also intend to tape record myself and use it the next time I tell Jadyn and Bryn the story of the Three Little Pigs. I just hope the huffing and puffing isn't too scary for them.

Jadyn's swollen lymph node is going down now which is a big relief. We look at and go "it looks so much better" but first time viewers look at it and go "oh my gosh, what happened."

Katelyn's birthday was Sunday and she turned 11. For some reason eleven sounds so much older than ten. Ten sounds like "My daughter is in double digits now," but eleven sounds like "My daughter is rapidly approaching becoming a teenager." Jessica took Katelyn and a few friends (Katelyn would have taken a bus load if she could have) on the train to spend the night in a hotel in Dallas. They apparently (I say apparently because I know better than to spend an entire night with four rapidly approaching becoming a teenage girls) had a ball. There was an ice skating rink right outside the hotel and they skated until the rink closed for the night. Katelyn was exstatic at being able to eat at McDonald's-- a place that Katelyn normally only eats at when someone other than her parents takes her (usually that person is named "grandma").

Jadyn seeing all the excitement around Katelyn's birthday has been asking every day when her birthday is (it's at the end of next month).

Jess is getting her Herceptin infusion next week. The infusion is given like chemo through her port, but without the throwing up, hair loss, and certain persons walking around the house in a daze because mommy isn't here right now. There are no side effects to Herceptin! It's an antibody booster that she'll recieve every three weeks.

A diagnosis for Jadyn

We got the word back from the doctor-- Jadyn does indeed have Cat Scratch Disease. The good thing is that is treatablel with antibiotics which she is already on. I think yesterday was the first day that her lump was visibly shrinking-- it was looking pretty good today. The doctor said that it usually lasts for up to two weeks but it sometimes lasts several months, so we are very thankful that it is already clearing up.

Jess went out with a group of friends tonight to celebrate her remision-- I think its wonderful that she is connected to so many people that care about her. The group tonight was pretty special because they are made up of a group of young ladies who met every week to specifically pray for Jessica (how cool is that!!!).

Jadyn is able to buckle her own seat belt, but Bryn is not. Jadyn could let this matter go unnoticed but today in the car she very loudly announced it to Bryn. Bryn got upset in a few mili-seconds and screamed that she was "big too." I stepped in and told Bryn some of things that she can do that a baby cannot do: walk, talk, sing, etc. When I got to the sing part, Jadyn and Bryn both forgot that they were upset with each other and began to sing an artist's rendition of "Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star." Jadyn creatively made up new lyrics to the song (for example not only was her star "up so high in the sky" but it was also "down low") and Bryn sort-of sang along with her. I say sort-of because when Jadyn would sing a new line-- Bryn would try to sing that same line as best as she remembered Jadyn doing it. I know they didn't realize it, but I guess there "big enough" to forget to fight and enjoy each other.

She's Got Hair

Very soon after Jess found out she was cancer-free, she began asking me if I thought her hair was growing back. For awhile now she her hair has been rather like baby fuzz. I of course played it safe by answering her "maybe." However, some time this weekend her hair decided it was about time to start looking glamarous again, so I am pleased to announce that it has started growing back.

Jadyn is still not feeling well; Jess stayed home with her yesterday.

Update on Jadyn

After almost a week, Jadyn's lymph node hasn't gotten smaller. In fact it's a little bit bigger: 10 cm by 5 cm. Jess took her to the doctor again today. This time Jess and Jadyn spent all day going through tests; seeing an ENT, etc. The ENT said she doesn't see lymph nodes this large unless they have Cat Scratch Fever. Jadyn hasn't been around any cats lately, but we should get the results in a few days. As for me, I am a little worried about Jadyn. She has been very pale and has difficulty turning her head now.

I rode my bike to school today. There is a teacher at my school who is going to start riding her bike ten miles to work from Mansfield, so I thought surely I can ride my bike three mile to work this Friday. I think I learned three important things: it's hot in Texas, I had more difficulty catching my breath than I thought I would, and it's good idea to check to see if your gears are working properly on a trial run before you decide to go on a three mile trek.

The "R" Word

Jess sawDr. Haley her medical oncologist yesterday. She finally heard the "R" word that we have been waiting to hear, "remision." There were no surprises as to the medicines that Jess will be taking which for us was very comforting. She will be on femara, lupron, and herceptin (the last of which will be through her port every three weeks). She'll also get a diagnostic scan every three months.

On Sunday Jadyn's lymph node swelled up to the size of a golf ball. She's on antibiotics and has been sleeping in our room so we can keep an eye on her. We are also going to call soon to schedule her surgery for her hip.

Tonight was Open House for me. Since the parents are taking time out of their schedules to come up to the school I try to make it fun for them. Tonight we played trashketball which is a combination of trash and basketball. I asked them questions about my class, English related questions, and questions about YJH and if they got it right they got to shoot a paper wad into a wastebasket. If they made the basket, they earned their child points on a future assignment. I had a great time with them too: this year's group of parents is very, very likeable.

God's All About the Details

I don't have a lot of to say (I have been speechless lately), but I just wanted to say a quick something about last night's meal. Every Wednesday night, our church serves a meal. Our God is all about the details because this Wednesday the church served enchilladas!

Follow Up

Yesterday, my surgeon called to give me the general consensus on the meeting about my ongoing treatment. As usual, it brought more questions that I will have an opportunity to ask at my next appointment Monday.

They saw no advantage to surgery at this time. They also want to save radiation to use later if needed. (Evidently you can only radiate a certain amount). I love what my friend Alyson said after I told her this: "We won't need it... We won't need radiation ever." She is so positive! I love that, and it's true, I won't need that radiation anyway!

I will keep taking a Lupron shot which shuts down my ovaries, a aromatose inhibitor once a day (a pill form like Tamoxifin or Femera) and a Herceptin infusion every three weeks. All very do-able, and easy to handle. I will ask Monday how long I am to do this regimen. But, I like what a close watch they are going to have on me.

I think I'll follow Alyson's advise to this step too, I'm glad we're doing all we can to prevent this recurrence, but it's not going to happen!

Still floating on a cloud,
Jess

Celebrate

The last few days have been a celebration; a celebration of God's provision and goodness.

Friday, Jake celebrated in the halls at Young, our whole family called and emailed all we could, and my Dad took our immediate family out to dinner. Yesterday, we celebrated at my Aunt Diane and Uncle Mike's house. It was my grandmother's birthday so we had already planned a get-together. It was a good thing too because I could not go another day without hugging my family! They gave me a beautiful gold necklace with a gold cancer "ribbon". I had already recieved from them a silver one, but the new one symbolized a new chapter, one of victory and assurance. Today, we celebrated at church when our pastor called us up to the stage to give praise for this healing and pray for our family as we continue this journey. I was so glad when he also prayed for (as we are too) the others inside and outside of our church that are battling cancer right now.

I know there is more to come. But, I am so confident of this healing and completion that I can't wait to get started. Tuesday, I will know more about the coming stages. But count on me asking the doctors on my appointment Thursday, "Have you ever see this happen?!?"

Celebrate!

** Thank you for your wonderful comments from Friday's post. I was visiting with my friend Sharon tonight when she said something I said have so often these last months: sometimes I didn't know what to pray, or how to do it. Sometimes I was so tired and ill, and weak, and drugged I didn't know what to say or do. And you intercede. You lift me up when I can't find the words for myself. For that, and so much more, I am so very grateful. I love you **

Shocked!

Okay, Jake beat me to it! But, I can't wait to share my excitement with you all too! And, I get to fill you in on the details!

I had my MRI today. That was a unique experience that I can spare you the details of (just imagine how they might do a breast MRI, and then imagine 10 times more awkward!) Then, I want for my appoinntment with my surgeon, Dr. Euhus. Sine they are on the same floor, and all computerized, the doctor just walked down the hall to get my results.

He came back to say that the MRI was completely clear! Now, when I told my Aunt Sandy this she said she was overjoyed, extatic, jumping up and down, but not shocked. She knew God could and would heal me. Well, I was shocked. I am humbled and grateful, but still in shock. Shocked at God's amazing provision and the way my body accepted these chemo drugs. I know God is teaching me that I do not have to be shocked any more by his complete protcection and provision over me. He has proven this to me over and over. I get it now!

Dr. Euhus also told me the results of my scans on Wednesday, a CAT scan of my abdomen, chest, pelvis, and a nuculear bone scan. All these also came back completely clear!

They cannot feel any lumps or masses, and they cannot see any on any scan or test they have run so far!

Amazing!

The next step: Dr. Euhus will be there to present his results at the meeting this Tuesday with Dr. Haley, and anyone else who has worked with me and has input to offer. It is Dr. Euhus' opinion that surgery is not the only way to prevent a recurrance in my case. I would not have a lumpectomy (since there is no "lump" to get!) so the option is a masectomy to remove all chance of recurrance. Dr. Euhus is not necessarily for this, since my cancer had metastisized, it has a chance of recurrance in all those other places, not just the breast. Radiation is an option, but also one that is unlikely according to Dr. Euhus' for similar reasons. He leans toward carefully watching the entire body for recurrance, and using a hormone reducing drug to keep cancer growth down.

That said, at Southwestern, they work as a team. So after everyone weighs in on my case, I will get an opinion from them Tuesday afternoon. Then, we'll go forward from there.

I am so excited about this news!!! I want to ask my doctors, IS THIS NORMAL?? But, I know the answer...no, it is not. It is a wonderful, amazing GOD thing, and I can't wait for the next step.

I love you all!!

The Whole Enchilada!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm teaching class right now, but this can't wait. ALL OF THE SCANS REVEALED NO TUMORS!!!!!!!!!!! That means no surgery and no radiation.

What this most likely means as far as treatment is hormone therapy to help prevent further tumors and regular check-ups.

Praise God! If you hear a loud noise right now it's just me shouting for joy.

Yesterday's tests

Yesterday's tests took a lot longer than Jess thought they would. They injected her with some stuff and made her drink some really nasty stuff (she said it looked milky but tasted fruity) and had to wait a long time for the stuff to enter her system. She went in about ten and got home about 3:30. The last time Jess got a similair injection the dye (or whatever it is) leaked out of her veins and into her arm causing it swell up. This time Jess said the nurse was very careful and the dye stayed where it was supposed to.

Jess also had a bone scan. One cause for concern is the technician ordered an x-ray on Jessa's lower back after he did the scan. Jess said he didn't talk to her about why did the x-ray, but our hope is that he saw a treated area and not an active tumor.

Jess goes to the dentist today (why not get all the prodding and poking done in one week) along with Jadyn and Bryn who are going for the first time. As we were leaving the house Katelyn (our drama queen) let out a piercing scream followed by a yell "Jadyn and Bryn are going to the dentist?!?!?" Katelyn was just being overdramatic, but I am hoping that the Yikes will go into the car now without kicking and screaming.

Jess has at least one more test tomorrow (MRI) followed by a visit with her surgeon. I am more than a little bit nervous, but also hopeful.

Cast-away

Today Bryn got her cast off. It was nice to have it off, but she kept falling today. Our little Bryn is not a crier (at least not when it comes to getting hurt), but cried a lot today and kept saying "My boo-boo hurts." The doctor said it will be sore for the next couple of weeks, but every time she falls I keep thinking she's broken her arm again.

Jess has two scans tomorrow. She has a bone scan at ten and a CAT scan at eleven.

Boringville

It was really nice to have a "normal" weekend. No trips to the hospital, no throwing up, and everyone spending the night in the same house. I say this because Jess thinks that the latest updates might be too boring-- not enough excitement. I am completely the opposite-- no exciting news means Jess is doing OK, so bring on the boring stuff I say!

Today was perhaps the smoothest first day ever. The copier wasn't fixed until this afternoon, but my classes went just fine anyway. Katelyn had a good first day back too.

Tomorrow Bryn gets her cast off although (I'm not making this up) she really likes it and has grown attached to it. That said I hope she has had her fill of casts this year.

Jess has her first tests this week on Wednesday. I'm asking our God of the Possibles for the impossible-- that the scans show that there are no tumors at all. God will choose to do what He wants to do (and we are OK with that), but there's nothing wrong with asking for the whole enchilada, right?

Katelyn's Home:)

Katelyn's home after two weeks with her grandparents in Portland, Oregon. For us it felt more like three weeks because she was gone for a week of church camp right before her trip. We all really missed her. Jess has her (Katelyn) in the morning going clothes shopping and a hair cut so she can be styling at school, and I have her for the night taking her and a friend to a profesional soccer game in FC Dallas's brand new stadium, so we are wasting no time in "catching up" with her.

I am almost ready for school on Monday. I would be even more ready, but our school's one copier broke down. I should have known better and got my copies done earlier because our copy usually dies right before exams have to be run off and right before school starts.

A Good Day for Jess

Today we signed Jadyn up for fall soccer. When we got back in the car to head home Jadyn became concerned and said, "Daddy, I haven't got to play my game yet." She is going to have to wait a while her first game is September 24th. We were debating whether even to let her play soccer in the fall (I'm sure some of her games will conflict with Katelyn's), but when we found out about Jadyn's upcoming surgery it was very clear to us to let her do all she can now.

Other than the lingering bad taste in her mouth, Jess had another great day. Jess did the Hip-Hop Class again at the Y today which is a pretty strenous workout. She felt a little more comfortable today among the dancing divas because there was one really bad dancer who had about as much style as a sumo wrestler doing a belly flop. However, as her husband I figure its one more thing I can do to support her.

I think it would be really cool if next week Jess's scans revealed that no surgery is needed. Keep on praying warriors.

Thoughts from Jadyn

Much earlier this year, Jadyn cut her hair. Jess was able to salvage it into a decent looking but very short cut. So that Jadyn wouldn't like her hair so short (and therefore prevent any further self-hair cuts), Jess kept telling her that she couldn't wear pigtails until it grew out. Well, today when we told Jadyn that mommy's hair would start growing out again, Jadyn turned to Jess and said, "Now you can wear pig-tails!"

We were also talking to Jadyn about getting her cast at the beginning of next year. Now when Jadyn was about eighteen months old we had to put her in a traction contraption the whole day except for meal times, baths, and diaper changes. If we wanted to take us with her, we could take her out to put her in her car seat (for short trips), but then we had to put her back into traction. The only way we could walk with her is to put the whole contraption into a wagon and pull her. We have since given the wagon to charity. To flash back to the present, when we were talking to Jadyn about her cast at first she was fine, but then she said "Oh no!" Jess and I both anxiously asked her what the matter was. She told us, "We don't have the wagon anymore."

Jess is feeling much better today. She has a constant bad taste in her mouth, but the queasiness is pretty much gone.

Playing Catch-up

My flight got delayed tonight, so I missed tucking my girls in tonight-- I didn't realize Jadyn appreciated my bear sounds so much. For me the blog, has served as a "catch-up" for me since Jess is fast asleep in bed. I didn't even know she was home-- and she didn't either-- she jumped put of bed about three feet in the air then went right back to sleep. I think this time has been particularly trying on her-- I have been calling her everyday for a few minutes (just long enough for her to know I have been thinking about her and short enough for her to get her rest) and her "I'm fines" have been sounding weaker and weaker. I know part of that has to do with not being able to keep down food this time around.

I had both an enjoyable and interesting trip. I got to see a ton of Heather and Terry (who I had never met before) which was fantastic. I also got to spend a lot of time with my dad. It just happened to be underneath his house in the dirt with water pouring down on me. You see my dad bought an old house from the 1920s and has been fixing it up. It just so happened that he chose to replace the old copper and iron pipes with PCVC ones the day I got there. We started in the morning and worked non-stop until the next morning. I took a shower about 3:30 AM utilizing the water pipes we put in and it felt wonderful. Actually I really enjoyed helping my dad put the pipes in and the rest of the time I got to spend with him and the rest of the family.

Heather's wedding was beautiful. She arrived in a horse draw carriage and got married in a garden park. She designed all of the boquets and table arrangements and I must say I was very impressed. I am very grateful for my Jessica approving of the trip.

Chemo day

Today I had my 6th round, accompanied by my sister Hope and friend, Jessica. We had a good time together. Actually, I should say they had a good time while I slept all through our movie, True Lies. I woke up for the climactic ending.

Dr. Haley had to write down her notes onto two pages this morning. We had a lot of appointments to make. The week of the 15^th (of course it's the week school starts!!), I will have appointments for a MRI of breast and underarm, CAT scans of various other parts, a bone scan, and an meeting with the surgeon, Dr. Euhus. Then on the 22nd my doctors will present my case to a board that makes decisions about further treatment. I've said before on the blog, but I love that they all work as a team. I will meet with Dr. Haley on the 25th to get her update and to get started.

Even though I know the next days are hard, I am comforted by the fact that this is the last round of this type of a heavy "3 week" dose of chemo! My sister is spending the night with me tonight because Jake is still out of town. My Aunt Sandy has coordinated the rest of the weekend to have us all covered.

Even though I am so happy that Jake is spending time with his family in Maryland, we miss him here too. Jake usually does the whole bedroom routine. It starts with pj's, teeth, and ends up in bed with a story, a few sips of water, and special daddy hugs and prayers. I am attempting my best to fill in, but it is challenging. During our story of the 3 little bears, Jadyn started crying...screaming crying. She said that daddy makes the bears go "Grrrr", not "Roaaar". She actually screamed this message to me and covered her face in the covers. After the story, I just lay down with her and rubbed her face as Jake often does, and she drifted off to sleep. Jake gets home Sunday night, and I hope it is in time to tell her a good night story!

Thanks for your prayers.

August Prayer Calendar

1st Pray for healing 1 John 5:14-15
2nd Pray for healing for surgery and treatment plan Proverbs 8:14
3rd Pray for God’s timing with the surgery date Ecc 3:1
4th Chemo today. Pray for rest. Deut 32:10
5th Pray for strengthening 1 Peter 5:10
6th Pray that the Lord would be their helper Hebrews 13:6
7th Pray for peace for the whole family 2 Thes 3:16
8th Pray unity Col 3:14
9th Pray for no fear 1 John 4:18
10th Pray they cast all anxieties 1 Peter 5:7
11th Pray for strengthening Col 1:11
12th Pray they would put their minds on godly things Phil 4:8
13th Pray they would stand in the Lord Eph 6:10
14th Pray that God would do more than we ask Eph 3:16-21
15th Pray for protection 2 Thes 3:3
16th Pray peace to rule in their hearts Col 3:15
17th Pray that we would bear this burden Gal 6:2
18th Pray they would find Christ sufficient 2 Cor 12:9
19th Pray they would find triumph in Christ 2 Cor 2:14
20th Pray they would rejoice in hope, perseverance, and pray Rom 12:12
21st Pray they would abide in Christ John 15:4
22nd Pray their faith would rest on the power of God 1 Cor 2:5
23rd Pray they would be directed into the love of God 2 Thes 3:5
24th Pray they would take all anxiety to the Lord Phil 4:6-7
25th Pray God’s hope would fill them joy and peace Rom 15:13
26th Pray they would take refuge in the Lord Nahum 1:7
27th Pray they would trust the Lord as their rock Isiah 26:4
28th Pray they would trust God and not be afraid Isaiah 12:2
29th Pray they would run to the Lord the strong tower Prov 18:10
30th Pray God give wisdom to the doctors Prov 8:14
31st Pray for rest and good sleep for all Prov 3:24

Jadyn's hips... and hip hop!

I took Jadyn to Scottish Rite today for her yearly check of her hips. The X-ray showed no signs of improvement, even though she had a great physical exam: her hip had great rotation, and she is walking and running normally. However, eventually she would have problems with her hips if left untreated (arthritis and early hip replacement...) because her socket is not deep enough. He gave me some leeway on the date, so I am going to figure out my surgery first and book hers a little later. In the Kaylor family, you have to wait your turn with major problems. Unfortunately, no one has been following that rule! I see many good things about this, even though it was not the news we wanted: 1st, it is a correctable problem. Dr. Johnston says he has great success getting a perfect hip with this method. 2nd, Scottish Rite is a free orthopedic hospital, so this hospital stay is completely covered. And, we have some time to deal with it (just needs to be done before she turns 5). When we decide to do it, she will surgically have pins put in her hip to pull the socket into place, she will have a body cast over 1 full leg and I think half of the other for 6 weeks. Then they'll take the pins out and the leg/hip should begin to grow correctly.

Speaking of hips...
Tonight I took a hip hop dance class at the Y. If any of you are feeling down and want some good entertainment, you can come to my next class to watch me make a complete fool of myself with dancers that are about 17 and many others with just a ton of rythm. I do it because it's the best workout I get all week, and the time flies by. And, I fit right in with my do rag-bandana. It really is a good mind break. It's my goal this round to make it to this class on Saturday.

Tomorrow I am off to my 6 of 6...my 6th round of my 6th treatment. I am not necessarily looking forward to it, but I am excited that it is the last of this type! God has assuredly gotten me this far, I know I can do one more with His help. I am not expecting Dr. Haley to tell me much of anything new tomorrow. I think she will set up my appointment with the surgeon, Dr. Euhus. It is after that surgery consultation appt. that Drs. Euhus and Haley will meet to discuss the next phase of my treatment. I love that at Southwestern, the doctors are all part of a team. It really helps to have that unified plan of attack.

Thanks for thinking and praying for our family this week! We feel lifted up all the time.

Back to Work

I wanted to write tonight because I may not get a chance these next couple of days while I am in Virginia, but I am going to make it quick because Jess has already started heading for bed. Today I did my first of two days of teacher in-service. It was a lot nicer than I imagined it would be mostly because seeing teachers from Young (my school) and two of the elementary schools: Corey and Wood is a lot like visiting family. I leave tomorrow night for Virginia and Katelyn has already left to spend two weeks in Portland with her grandparents. I am still a little worried about Jess, Bryn, and Jadyn since I will be gone-- but I feel much better today: thank you for your prayers.

Plenty of Prayer (needed)

You need to read the comment on the post just before this one. By the way Jess and I always read the comments on the current posts (unless you tell us about it as one friend did, we don't go back to check the comments on old posts) and we both find them encouraging.

Jess and I had a wonderful retreat this weekend. Jess told me something really sweet on the way home. She said that she liked spending time with the kids, but that she really loved spending time with me.

Just a few days ago I talked about we handled Bryn's broken arm with practically no worry. Well I must confess that I am having difficulty leaving next week in God's hands (please pray for me). First of all I am starting work again on Monday for some staff training. It's not the training that has me stressed out; it is the idea of starting another season not at home during work hours and added stress as I again begin to teach junior high.

Then, after my second day of training I fly out for my sister Heather's wedding. I'm pretty excited about going, especially because she is picking me up from the airport and I haven't been able to see much of her as she has been finishing college and doing crazy things like doing scientific work on islands. The flip side is that we have been waiting on a date from the hospital for a check-up for Jadyn's hip, and we just recently got it... the morning after I leave. Please pray that her hip has fully formed and does not require surgery, pins, or any further treatment.

Then, Jess has chemo on Thursday. Please pray that I am able to turn the care of Jess and our kids over to our Sunday school class and Jess's family. Also please pray (are you getting tired of those two words in this blog?) that our kids will adjust well to whoever is watching them and also to temporarily not having both of their parents, that Jess will be able to relax (in fact if you just want to spend all of your time praying for that one that would be fine), and that the chemo/prayer would kick the cancer's butt.

Retreat and Shopping

Along with several women from our Sunday school class, Jess has been planning a marriage retreat for months now. I knew it was coming at the end of summer, so I while I am excited about coming I am a little distressed that summer is almost over. The retreat starts tonight and we come home tomorrow night. The theme is "Survivor." I know that they are basing it off the reality tv show, but I can't think of a more appropriate theme for Jessica.

We took Bryn for a checkup on her arm this morning. Jess asked the doctor if Bryn was predisposed to breaking bones since this is the second Brynny has broken an arm, but the doc said her bones look great. Apparently, Bryn has already gotten the two most common broken bones in a child of her age-- I don't know what the third is but I am hoping we don't find out.

Katelyn came home from camp today. She didn't waste any time in playing with her sisters. It was very sweet because Katelyn used to play store all the time with Jess when she was about four (notice I said Jess-- I play a lot of things with the girls but store is not going to be one of them). Jess would be the shopkeeper (complete with foreign accent and dressed up too) and Katelyn would be the shopper. Well today, Katelyn was the shopkeeper and Bryn and Jadyn were the shoppers. It was neat seeing the Yikes as delighted with their purchases as Katelyn was six years ago, but it was even neater seeing Katelyn pass "store" on to her sisters.

Kaylor Kids

Sunday, Jadyn and Katelyn showed off their soccer skills. Conservatively I think that Jadyn scored about twelve goals which has just as much to do with being able to control the ball as it does with the members of the other team leaving the field to tell their parents they are hungry or have to go to the bathroom, or they don't want to play anymore. Sometimes the players do stay on the field, but chase after each other instead of the ball. Katelyn had to fight a lot harder for her four goals. When she scored her first of two shots left-footed-- she faced the stands and told me she had kicked it in with her left foot. Of course since it's indoor-- I had no idea what she was saying because of the thick plexiglass seperating us. I finally got the idea when she started wildly gesturing to her left foot.

Yesterday, Katelyn left for camp. The difference between this year and last year (when she left for the first time) is that she was very excited instead of nervous. Before she had even left she already planned sleeping arrangements with her friends. Also yesterday, Bryn said something very sad. She has been calling her favorite movie Barbie and the CrackCracker, but yesterday she called it Barbie and the Nutcracker. Before long she will not call flipflops, "flop-flops." Jess and I are a little sad because it means our littlest one is growing up.

I told you she was beautiful-- Jake 

Bryn's Second Cast

I had a really nice birthday yesterday, and I'm really glad my mom was here for it. There is only two months of the year that I get to be the same age as my wife, so I'm looking forward to being twenty-nine with her until her birthday on September 18th.

Bryn had two things wrong with her arm: nursemaid's elbow and a fracture just above the elbow. Yesterday, the doctor put her elbow back in place (ouch) and this morning (after we got the results from the x-ray back) I took her to get the fiberglass cast. Bryn has done really well through this and I'm really glad she didn't change her mind about the cast color after she got it on (it's purple). She did just tell me though that she is ready to take it off.

Jess and my mom at our at the salon getting pampered. They both got facials and haircuts too. I haven't seen my mom yet but Jess said it's a really cute bob. Jess's hair was similair to a new born baby's very short, soft, and thin: she got it buzzed. Even without seeing her, she is undoubtedly as beautiful as ever.

I'm looking forward to tonight. Originally my good friend Kelly Walker and his son-in-law Justin were going to come over and put in a ceiling fan for us. That has blossomed into a big get-together. Before we found out that Jess had cancer, she watched Justin's little girl Rylie. The Yikes grew really close to her, and they are really excited that she is coming over tonight along with her sister, her mom, and Kelly's wife and son. It is going to be a full house tonight, and I love having people over at our house.

An Exciting Birthday

Today has brought a different kind of excitement than I thought. We have always believed in giving our kids a little extra push whenever we thought they needed, and this morning Jadyn decided to follow our example. The only problem is Jadyn's pushing was literal as she pushed Bryn off the couch. Bryn who has already broken that wrist once before has almost asuredly broken her wrist again (I'll know pretty soon after she sees the doctor and gets x-rays this afternoon). I think God has already worked a change in me because I'm not worried about her (or the fact that we have already used our one covered x-ray under our insurance already this year), but I'm just really sad for her. I held our little two year-old daughter for two hours until she fell asleep. Normally nothing fazes our youngest one, but this time it was obvious that she was in a lot of pain. Various members of our family brought her her pacy (normally reserved for naps and sleeping at night), her blanky, pillow bear, and her favorite movie Barbie and the Nutcracker which she calls Barbie and the CrackCracker. It is the first time I have seen the movie all the way through and I was watching it I got to thinking why my girls like the movie so much. I think even at a young age it is evident that God has put in them a desire to be swept off their feet in adventure and to be truly beautiful. I think that is the cry of every female and I think it mirrors what Jesus did for the church (by that I mean people not church the building). Didn't he sweep us up in the greatest romantic adventure for our time? Isn't evident in his love for us he has made beauty from ugliness? When I mentioned that to Jess she said that a book she is reading with a young woman she is discipling talks about that very thing (the book is Captivating by John and Stasi Eldridge).

Despite all the excitement this morning it really has been a nice birthday so far. My mom made homemade cinnamon rolls (I love baked sweets) and I opened a present from Jess this morning that was a really sharp shirt. Tonight we are going to Cheddar's where I plan on having a big steak and a chocolate milkshake.

By the way Kathryn (notice the correct spelling) I appreciate the nice comment you left yesterday. I also thought it was hilarious that you mentioned that although I misspelled your name, you know how to spell "Jake." By the way you spell our oldest daughter"K-a-t-e-l-y-n" and Kathryn (notice again the correct spelling) there is really no need to comment this time.

Jessica is Home!

When Jess told me she was coming home soon yesterday in a-I'm-still-feeling-sick-as-a-dog voice I didn't believe her. What a surprise then when our family was outside and my mother-in-love pulled up with Aunt Sandy and out from the back seat pops Jess. Jadyn of course ran right to Jess and gave her a big hug. Bryn (who is constantly cracking me up) runs right past Jess, and instead screams "Grandma" and gives Jess's mom a hug. Then of course she turned right around screamed "Mommy" and gave Jess a big hug.

Before she came home, Jess kept saying over and over again that she doesn't know why we are making such a big deal this time about her being sick this time. To hear her tell it; she was barely sick. (Jess if you are reading this do not read the next line, but skip to the next paragraph) As for the rest of us, we think she got sicker faster and more intensely.

However, she is doing so much better for her first day home than she has ever done before. In fact she went and played volleyball tonight. And as I am typing this after midnight, she is still chatting away with my mom and our lovable (albeit a bit hyperactive) friend Katherine (OK Katherine now you can stop bugging me to write about you in the blog, and there is no need to respond to the hyperactive part in the comment section). Seeing as I am outnumbered gender-wise once again and strangely I seem more tired than Jessica I am going to bed while Jess continues to be the Engergized Bunny. Good night.

The Good, The Bad, and The Beautiful (that would be Jessica)

I think a good summary of our life these last months has been enjoy the good times and be content when they are bad. This week has been a little bit of both. I think this round of chemo has been hard on Jess-- I think mentally she is ready for it to be over. She is spending the week with her Aunt Sandy. She has said that she would like to be home because my mom is here, but I hope she will stay as long as she needs the rest. Besides the reason my mom is here when she is not here is to help out. I am excited though that she only has one more round (one last tripple dose) on August 4th. After the way Jess has endured chemo I think that the following surgery and radiation are going to be a breeze in comparison. I met a cancer survivor the other day that was just starting to have her hair grow back. As I was looking at her thick, curly hair I couldn't help but think how wonderful it will be for Jess to have her hair back.

It has also been a tremendous help to have my mom in town. She has fixed pretty much everything that was broken in the house and helped Frank Blaha (who I love dearly) and I replace the leaky porch roof. We got to test out the reliability of it right away as it started downpouring as we scrambled to finish the job. My mom has also formed a tight bond with our kids (especially with the Yikes) and it has been really nice having a live-in grandma to help take care of them. Right now while I am home with a napping Bryn, Grandma is off teaching Jadyn to swim and Katelyn some strokes.

Good news for the doctor!

Hi all, sorry for the delay in getting this great news out; yesterday was pretty busy. My meeting with Dr. Haley went very well! We laid out a plan for the next months…a plan! I have never received such a long plan! Up to this point, it has been: we’ll attack this cancer as hard and as long as we have to. When I would ask in the past how many more treatments, or what is next, I would get: we’ll see how the scans look, or you have a special case with a lot of spreading, we don’t know the number you’ll need.

Well, no more wondering. At least not yet, anyway! I had a full round of my three week dose of chemo yesterday. In three weeks, August 4^th, I will go in for my FINAL round of a 3 week dose! At that appointment, I will also be scheduled for an appointment with my surgeon, Dr. Euhus, and get an MR of my breast and underarm where the tumors still are.

I remember Dr. Euhus saying in an initial consultation that we might never be at the point where we will be doing surgery, and here we are!

My genetics results came in and I am negative for the mutative gene that predisposes you to breast cancer! I did not know quite what this meant for me. I knew it meant a lot for my daughters, sisters, and cousins, but I found out yesterday that not having this mutation helps me in terms of lessening my chance of a primary occurrence and ovarian cancer.

I was hoping to be put on weekly chemo yesterday, so that was my only mental setback. I was ready for fewer side effects, and I thought that was the path I wanted. Dr. Haley said she will probably send me for radiation after surgery and then some sort of weekly chemo for a short time after taking scans to see how we’re doing.

It is all very good news indeed! Please pray for this round of chemo, because I am already a little sick to my stomach, which is a little early for that yet. My stomach was a little irritated even before chemo, so maybe that contributes to that. Jake’s mom came into town yesterday, and will be staying for a week. It was great to see her, and the kids have already bonded with her...playing games, reading books, dressing up, they have done it all! She will be a big help to us this week while I recoup and she and Jake have some great fix-it projects around the house already planned.

Sorry for the long blog this time…lots of good news to report.

Cancer...FLEE!

I am writing you today because I am very mad at this thing called cancer. In just the last week (actually 4 days) I have learned of three dear people just diagnosed with cancer. The father in law of my friend Lisa was diagnosed with stage 4 pancreatic cancer. My friend Sheri was told she has thyroid cancer, and most recently, my friend and counselor at Katelyn’s school, Sharon Whitt, is having surgery tomorrow for cancer that has shown up in her abdomen lining and ovaries. Please pray hard for these people. I have felt great victory in my treatment so far. I know that these three friends will find victory as well. I will keep you updated.

Tomorrow is my appointment with Dr. Haley. I have many questions to ask concerning my future treatment. But I am sure I will forget some, so if you want to respond with a question I should ask, feel free! I also received a call that my results of the genetic test are in, so I will find out that info Thursday as well.

Thank for you praying for me, and thank you for praying for my friends. We can tackle this horrid cancer by banding together, helping to meet each other’s needs, and joining in prayer, prayer, prayer. You are all awesome and a big blessing to us.

I just got back from my having a Gully Washer 7.11 oz Slurpee. I have no idea why they called it Gully Washer, but it was good and now I feel even better knowing that 7-11 is again doing their free aniversary Slurpees today. Jess and I are excited about this Thursday because Dr. Haley is going to talk about treatment options now that we are down to two tumors. Jess is also going to get her 5th round of chemo on the 14th. Personally, I think we should give the tumors names. Not nice ones, but mean ones like Damien or Cruella-- however Jess is opposed to the idea so they will be forever namelss the rest of their (hopefully short) lives. Before this idea when they were lots of tumors, I had the idea (and this one I am completely joking about this obne) that each person praying for us could pick a different tumor. Then when the tumor went away we would put a tatoo (or possibly with a permanent marker) the name of the person that prayed for the tumor. Although we didn't do this (of course) both of us really do appreciate you praying for us-- it makes all the difference.

Judy's Birthday

Jessica her grandmother and aunt all conspired against my mother-in-love (Judy Burcie) yesterday. They told her they were going shopping in Hillsborough, but kept on driving in their kidnapping scheme all the way to San Antonio. Their plans included facials, sampling of Judy's favorite chocolates, and they had room service bring her cheese and crackers (which she really likes) upon her arrival to the hotel (this is something Jess picked up from her other set of parents when they spoiled us with chocolate stawberries and sparkling cider when we checked in our hotel earlier this year). Their celebrating mom's birthday there today and coming back tomorrow.

On the home front Jadyn scored a hat trick in soccer yesterday. Well, almost. She scored a goal, had another one batted away by an overzealous parent (they let parents on the field to help-- but his isn't what they had in mind), and finally Jadyn kicked one into her own goal. I am very proud of her, and Katelyn too who stole the ball last night at her basketball game and then made a basket.

I didn't mention this yesterday, but I really appreciate all of you who like Jay Graham have taken upon yourself to pray for us. Thank you. To me, the most important part of this web site is letting you know what to pray for be that by the prayer calendar or from our updates. If you think about it today you can also pray for Jeremy Butler (one of the college students we taught in our Sunday night bible study this Spring) who had a cornia transplant today.

Also, on something completely random, for those of you who really like Slurpees (like I do) July 11th (7-11-05) is coming up next week and 7-11 has been giving away free slurpees on 7-11 the last few years.

July Prayer Calendar

Monday we went to a small, family-friendly festival and fireworks showin Azle. The drive was about an hour but it was very much worth it. It was fun for me to see how much Jadyn and Bryn took delight in everything we did (bounce houses, puppet shows, etc.). Yesterday Jess was able to show off her much improved volleyball serve. It won't be long before she gets some aces. Jadyn has her second soccer game tonight and she is very excited (so am I).

Here is the prayer calendar for this month:

1^st Pray for blood count to increase Luke 17:19

2^nd Pray that there will be anxiousness Psalm 94:19

3^rd Pray for peace within in their household Psalm 119:165

4^th Pray that they seek the Lord to sustain them Isaiah 46:4

5^th Pray for continued miraculous effective chemo treatments John 2:23

6^th Pray for strength Isaiah 40:29-31

7^th Pray for Jake and Jess’s relationship to strengthen Philippians 1:27

8^th Pray that doubts and fears will be dispelled Isaiah 41:3

9^th Pray that they will continue to fix their eyes on Jesus Hebrews 12:2

10^th Pray for healing Malachi 4:2

11^th Pray for wisdom of the doctors and any treatment plans Proverbs 2:10-11

12^th Pray for rest Psalm 91:1

13^th Pray that their rough places will be made smooth Isaiah 42:16

14^th Pray that the Kaylor’s faith will continue to grow Acts 3:16

15^th Pray that the girls will live together in unity Psalm 133:1

16^th Pray that Jake, Jess and the girls will receive hope in each day through God’s word Romans 15:4

17^th Pray that they will feel God’s love Romans 2:5

18^th Pray that their stress will quickly be removed and replaced with joy Psalm 30:11

19^th Pray for healing Isaiah 57:18b-19

20^th Pray that the days after chemo will be better and Jess will be strengthened Psalm 22:19

21^st Pray that Jake will be able to cast all of his cares on the Lord Psalm 55:22

22^nd Pray for perseverance James 1:2-3

23^rd Pray for rest for the entire family Matthew 11:28

24^th Pray the Kaylors will rely on God Psalm 71:6

25^th Pray that they will receive all the help they need Isaiah 58:11

26^th Pray that they will have a renewed spirit each day 2 Cor 4:16

27^th Pray that the armor of God will be placed on them daily Ephesians 6:10-18

28^th Pray that the girls will obey Jake and Jess Ephesians 6:1-3

29^th Pray for healing Matthew 11:5

30^th Pray that their faith will be strengthened Romans 4:20-21

31^st Pray for rest Psalm 62:5

Shut Eye

The prayer calendar for July is coming-- it should be posted by Monday afternoon. After the awesome news earlier this week Jess has had a pretty uneventful week (and for those of you who are new to our story-- that is a very good thing). Jessa's dad from Portland this week and that has been an awesome thing for a number of reasons. Jadyn and Bryn have grown increasingly attached to them (I think he may have read to Bryn for about thirty minutes in one sitting). Katelyn loves doing fun stuff with him. He has helped me on a number of house projects. And he spoils Jess like crazy.

Although I did get Jess a box fan to help keep her cool and therefore sleep better and burned another sleep CD with just the good tracts on it, the credit goes to medicine she is now taking to help her go to sleep. I for one am sleeping great! I think our bed feels very comfortable now, and I am now using the pillow Jess didn't like complete with allergen barrier. I have also been getting some "shut-eye" in a negative way: I got a tear duct infection in my eye on Wednesday and the swelling is just now going down. For a little while I could have passed Jess off as the next great woman boxer, but my eye is almost looking normal now.

Jessa's fifth round of chemo is on the fourteenth.

Happy on the beach inSanta Barbara! 

PET scan results

Greetings all! I am coming out of my best round yet (#4). It was not as easy as my “plan”, but it was definitely better than normal. And, as an added bonus, I did not end up in the hospital as I have on my last two rounds. Right now, I am feeling pretty good. Jake has mentioned this before, but the middle ground is hard. I feel good enough to come home, but have to deal with a nagging, upset stomach that is more irritating than painful for several more days.

But, my point of this entry is not to tell you about my symptoms in the game of chemo. I got a call from my oncologist’s nurse, Terre, yesterday with my PET/CT scan results. Our conversation started like this; Terre: “Hi Jessica, are you at a point where I can read you results and you can write them down?” Me: (happy for the call, but worrying about all the stuff I was about to have to write down!) “Sure”, I say. Terre: “It’s all good news.”

And it was. It was the kind of news that just creates more questions, but it was great news. The scan showed no new growth! But better news was the many “spots” that showed up last time, were now showing up as “treated disease”. Terre explained to me that it would be like seeing scar tissue on a scan. It is not scar tissue, but it is evidence that I once had tumor spots and they have been treated , and are essentially not there any more.

In case you are new to my story, I had “spots” showing up on my last PET scan on my breast, auxiliary, nodes in my lungs, kidney, liver, abdomen, spine, and clavicle.

The scan still shows spots on my right breast and auxiliary area (… that’s my arm pit!).

I started asking Terre all these questions that I really just needed to wait until my appointment with Dr. Haley and ask her (on July 14^th). Like, what does this mean for my treatment; can I just have surgery now; how many more rounds; will I always see evidence of treated disease or will that go away too…….

Terre kindly directed me to Dr. Haley, and then said that they like to take a scan like this after several rounds to see if they are on the right path with my treatment and on the right cancer drug mix. I think, quite loudly, that answer was yes.

Thank you for praying with me. We can celebrate together this one victory. I am excited about what is to come.

Feeling Better

Jess is feeling much better, and in fact I am too. I think how worn out I have been this last week must have been evident in my recent postings because my mom (my actual mom, not my mother-in-love who is just as much my mom) called me up and asked how I was doing. Then she asked when she could fly down. It doesn't matter that I am turning 29 next month, my mom is still just as much my mom as when I was nine.

Last night Jadyn had her first ever soccer game and she played great (being three years old we weren't sure what to expect). She ran after every ball and scored her first goal. Her big sister Katelyn has been an inspiration to her and she was very excited that she was actually getting to play.

Jessica is Home Early

Jess came home earlier than I thought she would (last night). The new matress pad and pillow didn't go over as well as I thought. At MeeMaws house the beds are extremely soft. In fact her husband, Popo, knows someone who makes mattresses and so their beds feel really, really good. I should have waited until the next night to put the pad on. Then the conversation could have gone like this: First night, "This bed feels terrible; like a board" Second night, "This bed feels like a board with a mattress pad on it. It's not so terrible." The pillow went worse. In addition to getting a temperpedic pillow, I had gotten an allergy-barrier pillowcase to help with Jessa's year round allergies. I didn't take into account Jessa's hypersensitive nose. "It smelled" she announced (it's now in the garage airing out. As for the pillowcase, it crinkled too much. Needless to say, she did not sleep very well (did I mention the CD I got to help her sleep has a scratch on it). However, I am OK with failing. Through this whole process, there will be even more failures because I am not going to stop trying to make Jessa's life more comfortable. Do you think she would like a water bed?

Rest for the Weary

Yesterday marked the end of Jess going out and doing stuff. She was trying to will her mind over her body, but it ended up being the other way around. If she stays a little longer at MeeMaw's this time as I suspect she might, I may need to take her place over there when she comes back. Yesterday I spend most of the night cleaning up a diaper that had disintegrated in the wash. Do you think that would work? "Hi, honey I'm so glad you're back; I'll be gone for a couple of days recooperating..." Seriously, Jess needs just as much rest when she comes home (it's pretty much culture shock). I'm hoping this time Jess will sleep better-- I bought a thick pad that goes on top of our mattress and one of those pillows that conform to your head.

Jessica is Digging It

Normally, the day after chemo Jess could be mistaken for a lumberjack for all of the logs she saws. Instead of snoring the day away today however she was digging balls on the volleyball court tonight. As for me my reaction is half, “What are you thinking—get some rest!” and half “Wow, I so admire my wife.” Not only was it the day after chemo, but she got two shots today one to up her white blood count and one to up her red and she had a combined PET and CT scan. She spent the night here last night, but the next few nights will be spent at the MeMaw Spa and Pampering in Mansfield.

4 cycles down... and a new plan coming

I had a fun time at chemo today with my Aunt Sandy, although I think I slept through half of it! They give me benadryl drip to help me sleep and steriods in each drug that make me relax. It is supposed to make the chemo drugs work better. But, it doesn't make me such great company.

Okay, a lot of family is thinking I'm wierd, but I am going to try a new think with this chemo round and I need your prayers. It usually goes like this: Day 1 (fine) Day 2 (fine during the day; get real tired after 5:00) Day 3 (I am tired and sleep all day and pretty sick to my stomach much of the day, too) Day 4 (little things exhaust me; feeling a little less sick to my stomach) Day 5 (feeling better...on the upswing) Okay, I do not want to do this every three weeks. When I did not have cancer and I felt a little tired, and my stomach hurt, I did not lay down all day. I did what I was planning to do. So sniffles, shmiffles... forge on, I'm a mother! Cancer, shmancer, let's get going!

Even as I write this, I can hear my Aunt Diane, mother, grandmother, husband...cringe. But it is just an experiment. If it does not work, I will go back to my rough 5 days.

So, that is my plan. I am going to rest for a normal amount of time and then I am going to get up, read, go work out, walk, eat small meals, or write thank you notes to all the precious people who help us! It's just an experiment. It's really for day 4 and 5: this time it means Wednesday and Thursday. Please be praying for me these days. I am still doing to take my medicines, just not the ones that knock me out. (Mom, I will still take naps :) I promise)

Thanks guys!

Keeping up with Chemo

Jess went in for her 4th round of chemo today. The chemo is taking its toll on her (although she looks great) because her blood counts were down. Dr. Haley is considering giving her smaller doses every week instead of every three. If she decides to do that, it would mean three weeks of chemo and then a week off. Jess seemed to like that because smaller doses probably mean she won't get as sick. I'm pretty excited about tomorrow because Jess is going to get her second PET scan. If you want you can pick a part of Jess to pray over that it would be cancer-free! Both Jess and I are very optimistic that the scan will be show good results, but you will have to wait along with us for at least a week to get the results back.

As Jess mentioned earlier, we found out she is Her2 negative. After meeting with Dr. Haley, we found out she is going to stay with Herceptin because it is helping as the tumors are shrinking, and she does have a little elevated protien on her cells (something that determines Her2 + or-). Also, Herceptin has very little side effects, and there is no harm in keeping her on it.

The new port is in

Well, after so much up and down about my port, I finally have a new one in! Dr. Euhus sucessfully put in the new port this afternoon. It is in the same place, just running up a different path (into the jugular vien). I feel sore, but I am feeling even better than I did the first go-round.

When I got my first port in, I did not remember a thing. So, I thought it would be the same for this time. I should have known a little differently when the nurse anesthetist and several doctors came in and said I would feel drowsy and very comfortable, but would probably be awake. I told at least 4 different people that they could just knock me out--no problem--I did not want to feel a thing! However, I was awake for most of it. It was not too bad. I did feel a little pain and after telling them nicely (not really) that it hurt, they gave me more drugs. It was actually pretty interesting to hear the operating room banter. I am also amazed at the number of people in the operating room. No wonder it costs so much; I'm paying for a dozen people's hourly wages!

Well, that's the update! Have a great weekend :)

Good news...and we really needed some good news!

I recieved a call from my genetic counselor today concerning my BRACA 1 and 2 test. This is the genetic test that will see if I have a genetic mutation that pre-disposes me to breast cancer. This is also the test that my insurance carrier told me is billed as an "out of network" lab and would require my out of network deductible to be met before they would pay anything. And even after my deductible was met, they said they would pay 50%. Basically this meant I would have to pay for the $3,000 test on my own. The genetic counselor filed an appeal with my insurance explaining to them that this lab in Salt Lake City owned the patent on the gene mapping for the BRACA 1 and 2 genes and are the only lab in the country that can do this test.

So, my insurance changed the lab from out of network to IN!! And, since I have met my deductible, they will pay 100% of the testing!! This is wonderful and a huge answer to prayer because after looking at my policy, I did not see an easy way for them to approve this test. In fact, I read an easy way for them to deny coverage.

This test will help my doctors down the road with my treatment; give me knowledge and forsight to help my sisters and daughers; and it helps to either cancel out the idea or discover why I have breast cancer. It is just an extra piece of good information to have, and I am so excited to not have to make the decision about whether or not to pay the $3000 out of pocket!

The test takes three weeks as the lab will spend a lot of time counting tiny bits of DNA three times over. I amazed at scientific breakthroughs!

Speaking of breakthroughs, I was talking to my surgeon in preparation for this port procedure tomorrow and he mentioned I was Her2 negative. This means I might not keep taking Herceptin like I have been. I was a little sad because this drug Herceptin has been in the news so often in the last few months as being a "wonder drug" for Her2 positive cancer patients. I asked Dr. Euhus if there was as good of drug for people that are Her2 negative. He said there was not one as good as Herceptin yet, but within 2 years, they will have 10 drugs available that will help people as precicely and with few side effects (like Herceptin) that will target every breast cancer cell. This is huge, and 2 years is so short a time to wait. More good news! I could hear this stuff all day!

I will let you know how the port exchange goes late tomorrow evening...

Report on the Port

Hi there!

Well for the second time, I went into to Dr. Euhus' office for him to remove my port and it was feeling fine (of course!) So, he decided not to remove it today. He felt it and now feels with certainty that it is not infected. Therefore, he is going to remove it Thursday afternoon in surgery and put a new one in right away.

Before, he wanted to remove the port and let the "infection" heal, then put a new one in. Now that there is no infection, he can remove and replace at one time.

I was kind of wondering why it has to be removed at all without an infection, but Dr. Euhus said there is something wrong, maybe a small hole that makes the drugs leak a little, a block in the line, etc... because it swells up, hurts, then feels fine, swells up, hurts...

So, in the long run this is a good thing. I was a little nervous getting my port out just in the doctor's office with a just a local anesthetic. Now, he'll put me under and do it all at the same time. Also, I will not have to have my chemo round 4 in my arm, they will be able to use my new port Monday.

The port procedure will be this Thursday at 3:30. Thanks for your prayers.

Fun in the Sun

Jessa and I left Thursday to go her brother Alex's graduation in Santa Barbara, California. Her dad Mike here in Arlington gave us some Southwest passes and her dad Bob in Portland paid for us to upgrade to a Mustang Convertible. Consequently, the two hour drive from LAX to Santa Barbara was made a pleasant one with the top down with temperatures in the 70s. When we left Arlington it was a typical Texas summer in the 90s. Jess and I went to the beach, moped riding (Jessica like it so much she now wants a motorcycle), and to a fabulous dinner after Alex's outdoor graduation. It was great because Jess got to see her brother graduate and we got some much needed time together. I really appreciate Jessa's mom Judy for loving on our kids all weekend while we were gone.

On another note, Jessa's port is infected again. Surgery is tentatively scheduled for Tuesday. I'm having to give Jess shots again, but just once a day. It's just a day surgery so Jess should still be able to do arts and crafts all week at Vacation Bible School.

I got a letter from a pastor and his wife pointing out something I didn't realize in the Meshack story (they even spelled the names correctly). It seems that they were sure that God would save them. What they were unsure about was if the king would change his mind about throwing them in the furnace. Their faith amazes me because in the moment they stepped into the furnace they were able to trust God whole-heartedly.

Wonderful friends from our church, Lake Arlington Baptist Church, reminded be that shaving your head is cool by presenting me with this picture and a card reading "We shave for You!" Thank you for your awesome support for a girl who is losing it all (hair that is!) You are all great!! 

Busy as a Bee

It has already been a busy week for us. Jadyn started "Nature School" at River Legacy Park. This weeks theme is winged bugs (which makes me glad that Katelyn is not enrolled in it). Although she loves going the mini-camp itself I think the neatest thing for her is that she is the only one doing it. Since the Yikes (Jadyn and Bryn) are so close in age (2 and 3), they do almost everything together. I'm glad Bryn is so easy going because Jadyn frequently says something to Bryn like " I get to go to nature school, and you don't. You have to stay home with mommy and daddy." Bryn doesn't even seem to hear her and keeps right on playing. Katelyn is playing summer basketball, so we signed her up for basketball camp this week because she has never played organized basketball before. She is also playing indoor soccer and Jadyn is playing t-ball for the first half of summer and soccer for the second. I don't think that Bryn will be as easy going when Jadyn starts playing soccer because she loves kick and dribble the ball. In fact, she sometimes wants to go on the field when Katelyn is playing. I like staying busy because it keeps my mind off Jessa's cancer, but for Jess time is going to quickly-- she feels like the next round of chemo is going to be here before she knows it.

About a month before Jessa was diagnosed with cancer, I remember telling a good friend of mine that for me God doesn't speak through other people-- if He wants to tell me something He'll just tell it to me. Well not only does God have a sense of humor, but he also knows I am a lot happier when I am humble (for that matter those around me are a lot happier when I am humble too). For this reason I think He has remained silent in our private conversations with regard to Jessa's future. However, He has told a few other people what her future holds. I remember specifically telling my friend, "No way is God going to tell someone else when he can just tell me." Well, within a few weeks of Jessa's diagnosis, God told a teacher at my school, our pastor's daughter, and a woman in my mother-in-love's and Aunt Sandy's BSF (Bible Study Fellowship) group that it would be hard, but Jess would be OK in a year. For that reason, we have been praying ever since that Jess would be OK in a year. It has already been a hard year, but Jess and I both have hope. There is a story in the Bible where three men are asked by their king to reject their god and worship himself instead. When the three men, Shadrack, Meshack, and Abendego (spelling?) refuse to do that they are thrown into the fiery furnace. Right before they go, they are given one more chance. Their unanimous reply is that God will save them. I believe that God is choosing in this instance to heal Jessica completely.

Getting From Point A to Point C

I think Jess and I are both struggling with being at point "B." Point "A" are the first few days after chemo when we know she is going to be sick; point "C" is when she is feeling better. The problem is there is over a week in between. We prepare for point "A" and we look forward to point "C" but point "B" just might be the hardest because all we can do is wait it out. For Jess it is hard being able to go out but then having to take time out to rest (or sleep). For me it is hard giving up control and letting her decide when it would be a good time to do that (rest). We definitely made progress toward point "C" today. We went and worked out at the YMCA today and went to a carnival at Katelyn's school put on by the church that meets there on Sunday. One of the neatest things about the carnival was that we had several people we had never met before come up and ask if my wife was "Jessica Kaylor." This church has a heart for asking God to heal Jess and they "knew" her because they had been praying for her. Actually Jess meets people all the time that have already been praying for her which is pretty cool becayse praying for Jess's healing and us coping with her treatments is the most important thing people can do for us.

New Prayer Calendar

Here's the prayer calendar for June:

1^st Pray for God to heal completely 2^nd Pray God’s word will comfort and revive them Psalm 119:50 3^rd Pray God’s Word will light their paths Psalm 119:105 4^th Pray they will draw near to God 5^th Pray they will find God’s grace sufficient II Cor 12:9 6^th Pray for rest Is 40:28-31 7^th Pray they will trust God’s hand Is 49:16 8^th Pray they will know the Lord is near Psalm 34:18 9^th Pray they will thirst for God and be satisfied Psalm 42:1 10^th Pray they will seek the Lord and call on Him Is 55:16 11^th Pray they will believe God John 14:1 12^th Pray they will abide in Him and bear fruit John 15:7-9 13^th Pray for contentment Phil 4:11 14^th Pray they will trust God to carry them Is 46:4 15^th Pray they will cast all their worries on God II Peter 5:7 16^th Pray for healing Jer 32:27 17^th Pray they will stand in his His strength with joy Jude 24 18^th Pray for rest Mat 11:28 19^th Pray they will wait for the Lord Prov 20:22b 20^th Pray they will be filled with praise (Jess has chemo today) 40:3 Pray for healing Jer 17:14 22^nd Pray for God to go before them Deut 31:8 Pray for family harmony Col 3:13 24^th Pray for God’s care Ezek 34:11-12a 25^th Pray they will trust the Lord Jer 17:7-8 26^th Pray God will work all things for their good Rom 8:28 27^th Pray God will remove all fear Is 41:13 Pray they will know God’s care Job 10:12 29^th Pray they will fix their eyes on Jesus Heb 12:2 30^th Pray for joy and peace Is 55:13